Weekend Caption Contest™

It’s Friday, so it must be time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Winners to be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are closed – discussion can continue in the announcement post.

Mark Your Calendars - Eat An Animal For PETA Day
  • Jim

    George Bush prepares to kiss a baby as the evil head growing from his shoulder looks on hungrily.

  • “Thanks to the No Child Left Behind Act, I can assure that this infant wills be learning.”

  • “You’re a good president Mr. Bush. Yesyouare…Ohhhhhyesyouare.”

  • Rodney Dill

    “Now, now, don’t cry there. I’m not a monster. I have the heart of a child. I keep it in my desk drawer in the Oval Office.”

  • Big Time. Big Time. Can you say it? Biiiiig Time. See? Sure ya could!

  • WASHINGTON (AP) – Spokespersons from various baby groups across the nation expressed outrage and disappointment at the latest Bush campaign tactic, igniting yet another controversy sure to weigh down the President

    “How dare he pick up a baby and politicize childhood for his own partisan gains?” Asked Diaper Brigade member Danny “The Drooler” Phillips. “This is simply ourageous. I want my mooooooooommy!”

    White House spokeswoman Karen Hughes dismissed the controversy as being manufactured by the media and hard core supporters of the Kerry campaign, specifically his position on “just one more piece of candy”.

    “This is ridiculous” said Hughes, “promising these kids lollipops to get them to denounce a long time political tradition – photo ops with babies.”

    The Kerry campaign denied promising anyone any lollipops, but said they intended to pay for lollipop budgetary line items through voluntary tax givebacks from the wealthiest 1% of Americans.

  • Rob

    Kid, your diaper must be leaking because that spreading sensation of warmth I’m feeling ain’t coming from the press corps.

  • I don’t have a sense of humor (the feminist thing and all 😉 ), but I think Wind Rider wins hands down.

    No competition.

  • Jay Tea

    “Her name is Green, Mr. President. Soylent Green.”


  • Jay Tea

    “Go ahead, Mr. President. Trust me, they’re delicious.”


  • Rodney Dill

    “Awww, doesn’t he have just the cutest monkey face.”
    Holy Shit, this baby talks!”

  • Jay Tea

    April 10, 2004: Seconds before the incident that led to his eventual impeachment and indictment, President George H. W. Bush mishears the words of a supporter and confuses “Soiled Diaper” with “Soylent Green.”


  • Hey baby, you’re mommys going to be my new intern, yesss she is! yesss she is!

  • Rodney Dill

    Da da

  • After raping, killing, pillaging and burning, President Bush regrets having filled up on salad when he’s expected to eat the baby..

  • What is it about younger women in the Oval Office with berets?

  • “I knew I should have flushed that condom myself”

  • Congratulations, you’re my new Vice Presidential running mate. THey want to vote against me? Why then they just must hate babies!

  • Gil

    Oh my! Did you make that big stinky?

  • “Get in mah belly”

  • Jay Tea

    “OK, Mr. President, but please: no hickeys.”


  • “Your mommy’s hot, ain’t she, darlin’? Yes she is. Yes. she. is!

  • “Mark Your Calendars – Eat An Animal For PETA Day”

  • Ianinnc

    Who’s your daddy?

  • Mary

    I know, I know! MOST parent’s DON’T KNOW that a child can learn ANYTHING that you have the patience to teach them…..THAT is what we are trying to get through to them with the rules about what You need to know to get into kindergarten! “I” know you can, we need to teach the parents that you can!!!!! You GO GIRL!

  • Bob

    I tell you the deck was heaving and tossing but then we hit the third wire and we were down. Mission accomplished partner.

  • Lee

    “Ha ha, I think we’ve found a Weapon of Mass Di-stink-tion. Ha ha… get it? You see, because she’s got dirty diapers.”

  • Jay Tea

    A cunningly disguised Osama Bin Laden looks on gleefully as President George W. Bush unwittingly picks up the world’s smallest suicide bomber, code-named “Baby Boom.” However, in the excitement over completing her mission, “Baby Boom” lost control of her bodily functions and shorted out the detonator. The President escaped, never knowing just how closely death had passed him by.

  • Rodney Dill

    “Holy Mother of Mercy, have you been eating prunes again?”

  • Timmer

    Smile for the nice man sweetie. A picture like this is worth at least a couple hundred thousand to keep me from saying anything that might make him look bad.

  • Rodney Dill

    The DNC could only make further strenuous objections that the President Bush catching Michael Jackson’s dropped baby incident was contrived for political gain. President Bush’s presence on the scene was indeed fortuitous. Even Terry McAuliffe had to admit, though the incident was staged, that Michael Jackson (seen over dubya’s left shoulder) had finally found a much better, though somewhat misguided, plastic surgeon.

  • Rodney Dill

    Gee J., that last post of yours was well planned out, well constructed and funny. So tell me, what the hell happened?

  • Jay Tea

    You want a play by play, Rodney? OK… my first three were all done at work, when I was getting ready to leave. I had a germ of an idea, but it wasn’t until the third one that it finally gelled. My next two came to me in the middle of the night; I’m just glad I woke up enough to fully piece together “Baby Boom.”

    So far I’m favoring Wind Rider’s AP story, Rob’s warmth, Pixy’s timely suckup, and your Michael Jackson one, Rodney.

    Hey, wanna make a side bet on the winners? Lair’s salad one is good, but not quite the bombshell he’s pulled in the past. In fact, I don’t think there’s a real blockbuster in the bunch thus far.


  • Rodney Dill

    Wind Rider’s is pretty good. Slamming PETA is almost always worthwhile. Outside of that it looks too close to call.

    If there’s a block buster out there it probably won’t be mine.

  • Jay Tea

    “Don’t cry, little girl. Look at me! You don’t need teeth to become President…”