Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners

This weeks Weekend Caption Contest™ got a ton of entries, and judging the top entries was tough. The winning captions for this picture:

1) (Wind Rider) – “WASHINGTON (AP) – Spokespersons from various baby groups across the nation expressed outrage and disappointment at the latest Bush campaign tactic, igniting yet another controversy sure to weigh down the President

“How dare he pick up a baby and politicize childhood for his own partisan gains?” Asked Diaper Brigade member Danny “The Drooler” Phillips. “This is simply outrageous. I want my mooooooooommy!”

White House spokeswoman Karen Hughes dismissed the controversy as being manufactured by the media and hard core supporters of the Kerry campaign, specifically his position on “just one more piece of candy”.

“This is ridiculous” said Hughes, “promising these kids lollipops to get them to denounce a long time political tradition – photo ops with babies.”

The Kerry campaign denied promising anyone any lollipops, but said they intended to pay for lollipop budgetary line items through voluntary tax givebacks from the wealthiest 1% of Americans.”

2) (Jay Tea) – “A cunningly disguised Osama Bin Laden looks on gleefully as President George W. Bush unwittingly picks up the world’s smallest suicide bomber, code-named “Baby Boom.” However, in the excitement over completing her mission, “Baby Boom” lost control of her bodily functions and shorted out the detonator. The President escaped, never knowing just how closely death had passed him by.

3) (Greg Bouchillon) – “Get in mah belly

Until Friday…

Update: Fritz has a retro caption contest winner in his Friday contest featuring Ricky and Lucy.

FCC Fines
Those Imaginary Foreign Leaders
  • Paul

    All I can say is Bush is holding the wrong babe -er Baby.


  • Jay Tea

    Considering the theme of many of the entries, including my own, there’s something sophomorically satisfying about being “number two” this week.

    I had a hunch Wind Rider would win, though. While not exactly a blockbuster like Rodney’s “Kerry on cigars” or (blush) my own riff on “Deck The Halls,” Wind managed to actually generate five solid paragraphs of satire, maintaining a consistent theme and tone, without running it into the ground. Well done, Wind — you earned the top spot.

    Damn… now we gotta wait another five days…


  • Damn, I love politics. Shaking babies and kissing hands.

  • It just seemed to write itself.

    The Ouija caption!

  • oh god, they were all brilliant. especially fat bastard. simple yet elegant.

  • Rodney Dill

    Excellent competition. Good to see J. do something with something other than a “Pull my _________” caption. 🙂

    I’m not sure if Margi put her’s in the wrong place or not, but it actually is a pretty good caption in itself.

    I reread the captions and I don’t understand the reference to fat bastard.

    I saved my blockbuster because J. is probably the only other one that would find it funny and because I’ve already tried to slip in references to Spongmonkeys in a few other places. Here it is anyway. You’ve been warned.

    “My thats a cute one, sort of a cross between… Dennis Kuchinich… and a Spongmonkey

  • Jay Tea

    Sorry, Rodney, that’s pretty much a fizzle to me. For one, I don’t quite see the fascination in the Spongmonkeys. They’re about 1/3 disturbing and 2/3 annoying to me. For another, you can’t see the baby’s face.

    As for the “Fat Bastard” bit, that’s from the second Austin Powers movie. Fat Bastard says it to Mini-Me.
    See here

  • Jay Tea

    Er… as I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself…

    See here for details.

  • Rodney Dill

    Oh well, I tried. I thought the Spongmonkeys were the worst ad for Quizno’s Subs, but I got a kick out of that web site.