Weekend Caption Contest™

It’s Friday, that means so it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

Funniest Thing I've Read All Week
Blasphemy
  • Mike

    I saw this trick in a Crocodile Dundee movie. You will go to sleep, and keep your f-ing hands off of me!

  • Whoo whoo whoo whoo
    rawr rawr raww rawr
    nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk

  • And don’t even Think about touching the hair!

  • Hee-hee-hee. Titty twister on three. One….two….

  • “And I was hella tappin’ that ass” – Kerry

  • ILoco

    Alright John, remember… we’re still supposed to be in the closet. Easy on the touchy feely… mmmmk?

  • daniel

    “Know I know why they call it a COWLICK you BULL, you!”

  • ILoco

    Really, John… I swear it IS that big.

  • daniel

    “It’s a simple ‘slight-of-hand’ John. If I hold my RIGHT hand up here they won’t see where my left hand is, or what it’s doing!”

  • daniel

    Back aboard their private jet, Kerry and Edwards resume their favorite sport: A STARING CONTEST!

  • Corey

    Now, Johnny E., you look a little apprehensive… Don’t worry, the table’s in the way of the camera’s shot, so I’m just gonna slide my hand – that’s right, this one here – under the table and slowly unzip…

  • Give me five, my brotha!

    I said, give me five….five….

    …brotha?

    Come on, don’t leave me hanging….

    Damn, nigga, you dissin the JFK?

  • martinphilbrook

    after we win this election, and we overcome the amendment against gay marriage, lets hook up for REAL!!

  • No I’m not entering a caption, just testing out comments…

  • daniel

    “Sure I’ll let you handle my divorce, John, BUT FIRST you gotta guarantee you’ll get me half her dough, and you gotta cut your normal contingency from 35% to 20%. And before you sday “no’ – remember that could still top 150 MILLION bucks – and that ain’t CHUMP CHANGE, even to a successful ambulance chaser like you!”

  • So John…Teresa is on her knees and my hand is on her head like this….

  • I don’t care how young you are, John, you’re putting your own damn mask on it the plane springs a leak.

  • Rob

    Seriously dude, high-five on the touchy-feely thing. We’ve got the gay vote locked down.

  • SarahW
  • michel

    .. and now G’s even got WizBang trying to make fun of us .. how desperate can one be

  • eclipsegurl

    While flying somewhere over North Carolina, the two John’s spend quality time discussing their campaign strategy for Edwards’ home state this weekend…

    Kerry: “No kidding, I can chug a pitcher this tall. You’ll have to take me to some of the bars on Hillsborough Street after the rally. How about The Doll House? I could use a good lap dance.”

    Edwards thinking: “Yeah, he’s going down in the first year and I’ll be the big cheese. Who’s yo daddy now? Huh?”

  • “I don’t have time for the intel briefing. I have to hang with REAL Americans to raise more money.”

    See, the Jedi Mind Trick is allll in the wrist.

  • Darby

    Bush is in trouble now, KAPOW, STRAIGHT TO THE MOON ALICE!

  • Darby

    Ya know John, I could use a stack of 100’s about this high tommorrow night…

  • eclipsegurl

    Mine is only this big…..around

  • G.M.

    Listen, I’m tellin’ you, just a few more dead soldiers and bam, we’re in there.

  • “And I have a vision for America that’s … that’s … oh my … my Lord John … your lips … they’re like luscious, dew-flecked strawberries …”

  • Can you change “dew-flecked” to “dew-dappled?” That rolls off Kerry’s tongue better …

  • eclipsegurl

    Wanna arm wrestle?

  • -S-

    “My fingers to your mouth, John.

    “My fingers to your mouth.

    “My fingers to your mouth, to your mouth, to your mouth, my fingeres to your mouth, John.

    “Oh, John, my fingers to your mouth. Here they come, my fingers to your mouth.”

  • “Put your hand in mine, and then kiss me you beautiful fool …”

  • The same thing I do every day, Pinky. Plan to take over the world!

  • Look, Stop that now J.E. I don’t want you going blind before the election.

  • “And if we win, I’ll build you a treehouse in the backyard of the White House where you and all your little Senate friends can have sleepovers anytime you want. But the Lincoln Bedroom is mine.”

  • “I don’t want you calling me Uncle Lurch anymore. Do it again and I’ll slap your wrist so hard it’ll sting for several minutes.”

    “Okay, Uncle Lurch.”

    “I warned you.”

  • Sen. Edwards is photographed in deep conversation with the animatronic Kerry substitute, unaware that it’s not the real Kerry. Later, he told reporters after learning the truth, “I like the robot better, he’s just a more likable guy.”

  • “Stop making fun of me, John, or Daddy spank.”

  • Stolen from Stryker at http://www.digitalwarfighter.com
    ——-
    JK: Then we strike like a cobra.
    JE: A cobra?
    JK: A freaking…COBRA!
    JE: …

  • CC

    I learned a new sex position, here let me show you

  • Nordicgirl

    JFK:

  • How did the two find wives before they met each other? Kerry was against being gay before he was for it.

  • Jay Tea

    “C’mon, Edwards, just put your hands out, palms up. Then try to slap the backs of my hands. That’s how you win, not by threatening to sue me!”

    J.

  • Jay Tea

    “So, I figure you were about this tall when I won my three purple hearts in Viet Nam. Did you know I was in Viet Nam?”

    J.

  • Rodney Dill

    “Just one thing I gotta tell ya. That short Secret Service Agent, he pushes.”

    (I’m back)