Some truly momentous achievements in dumbassery

I’ve said before that New Hampshire has it’s share of dumbasses, but we’re pikers compared to our neighbors in Massachusetts. However, apparently a few of my fellow Cow Hampshirites took that as a challenge.

First, we have Steven Coleman, who decided to get back at his ex-girlfriend by burning down her house. He drove over to her house on a riding lawn mower, tossed a couple of Molotov cocktails made from empty Budweiser bottles, then attempted to flee the scene. He was caught by the police after a low-speed chase.

Next up, we have John Hardwick. 12 years ago, while hunting, he shot and killed a fellow hunter. Now he’s upset that the State Fish and Game Commission won’t issue him a new hunting license. They’re willing to issue him one valid for bow-hunting, but he doesn’t see why he shouldn’t be allowed to hunt with a gun again.

Finally, we have Lawence Trant, who apparently has a thing about child molesters. I mean, we all loathe them, but he takes it to a new level. In March of 2003, he tracked down seven convicted sexual offenders. He stabbed one of them and set fire to two houses. He’s currently serving 10-to-30 for two counts of attempted murder.

I swear, sometimes I think we’re called “The Granite State” in honor of the rocks some of us have in our heads…

J.

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  • Rodney Dill

    Igneous is Bliss

  • Speaking of Mass.

    The dumb:

    An 18-year-old Massachusetts man faces felony theft charges for allegedly emptying several large cereal boxes at a Costco, filling the boxes with electronic equipment and paying the clerk only for the cereal.

    Nashua police arrested Christopher Booze of Dracut on Sunday afternoon after he and a juvenile were detained by store security.

    Police said Booze left the store with a digital camera, GPS system and a computer hard drive worth $800 inside the resealed cereal boxes.

    And the dumber: The “ever vigilant” Costco cashier who, when scanning the boxes, was oblivious to the weight differential between Fruit Loops and a digital camera or a hard drive!

  • firstbrokenangel

    ha ha ha funny.

    cindy

  • Paul Zrimsek

    Living Free’s a bitch and then you Die.

  • Son Of The Godfather

    Mixed feelings about dumbass #3…

    The irony is that now he’s locked up in prime pedophile hunting ground!

    SOTG

  • Tom

    Son,

    Great observation… Maybe this was his master plan… BWAHAHAHAHA

  • – Rodney – that was terrible … but brilliant….My kind of pun….

    – I can see the judge admonishing this bunch of dunderheads with the reminder that:

    – wait for it –

    “Igneous of the law is no excuse”…..

  • Rod Stanton

    You need to spend some time in Cal, specifically Frisco if you want to really find out the meaning of “dumbass”.
    Rod Stanton
    7th generation Californian

  • – I’ve spent 35 years here in the land of fruits and nutz Rod and I still have know idea where some of the locals and not so locals come up with the things they do…. Maybe its the sun…..

  • shark

    The real dumbassery was throwing the molester killer in jail, instead of giving him a medal and an official license to hunt…

  • Krusty Krab

    shark says “The real dumbassery was throwing the molester killer in jail, instead of giving him a medal and an official license to hunt…”

    Shark — this is very, very insensitive and irresponsible: The people at the New Hampshire Fish and Game Department rely on the income from hunting and fishing licenses to help pay their salaries. Trying to skirt around the hunting license issue in the legitimate business of hunting down Chester the Molesters should be punished with the full force of law.

    However, the hunter is to be commended with his use of a knife in taking down his prey, but only if he blooded them first before an extended chase (sort of like a fox hunt). Also, he should probably have read the NH F&G advisories against eating long pork. Head trophies are fine though.

  • John S.

    I don’t know anything about the case of idiot hunter John R. Hardwick, but here in N.H., hunting has always been an opportunity for legal homicide. ($750 fine and no prison for a 2nd degree homicide, ha!) Scott Peterson could have moved to N.H. and bought Traci a suede leather jacket and white gloves. He’d be a free man and some dumb-ass drunk hunter would be facing a $10 fine for emptying 25 high velocity rounds into his wife.