Weekend Caption Contest™

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™***. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

S President George Bush looks on as French President Jacques Chirac kisses the hand of Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and former US President Bill Clinton looks the other way, second from top right, after the funeral mass for Pope John Paul II in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican, Friday, April 8, 2005. Sitting looking at Chirac kissing Rice's hand is First Lady Laura Bush. At bottom left, is King Juan Carlos of Spain and Queen Sofia with black hat; at top left, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan. In background behind President Bush, Palestinian Qureia, widely known as Abu Ala (AP Photo/Andrew Medichini)

Winners will be announced Sunday evening.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

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*** – Upon further reflection I’ve decided that the OJ picture was a poor choice. I should have known better than to try an pick the WCC image on Thursday evening. Sorry to the seven people who entered a caption for the old photo before I made the switch. It will be a much better contest with the current picture…

The Politics Of The Papacy
The Conspiracy Unmasked
  • Rodney Dill

    “Ooooh, Chirac and Kofi, I’ve always loved a little whine with my sleaze.”

  • “Smells like Texas”

  • Jay Tea

    “Talk to the hand, Frenchy, ‘cuz the face ain’t interested.”


  • Dennis

    Jacques misunderstood what Condoleeza meant, when she said she liked to be licked around the ring.

  • FreakyBoy

    While Bush looks despondent after forgetting to make reservations again, the take-charge Condi discretely slips the elderly maitre’D a sawbuck.

  • Stan25

    While pretending to kiss her hand, Jacques atempts to palm a slip of paper with his cell phone number into Condi’s clentched fist.

  • PTG

    GWB thinks: “I feel someone trying to pick my pocket! Kofi was right behind me… naaah, he wouldn’t do that, not at a funeral, would he…”

  • Thought bubble for Rumsfeld: “I’m going to have to do the Eagle Claw Death Grip on all those people who say I’m in drag. … Dammit, my pantyhose are riding up again.”

  • Condi: “Come here, Igor. The President needs his shoes shined.”

  • G.

    Condi:”Pull my finger and I’ll turn around and blow you a kiss.”

  • jmaster

    As those in the know around him burst into laughter, George Bush tries to maintain composure. He fooled yet another gullible world leader with his “Let me introduce ya to Oprah Winfrey” routine.

  • Maggie

    Condi (thought bubble) Thank God Laura warned me he gives wet kisses. Yeeeeks.

  • FreakyBoy

    Wedged tightly between Rumsfeld in drag and a pensive Bush checking if his shoes are on the right feet, the diminutive North Pole emissary to the Pope’s funeral waits patiently to discuss the wonders of mayonaise with a real Frenchman.

  • Grace Farmer


  • itismedavid

    As Condi lands a vicious left hook to Chirac’s chin, Mr. Bush can’t help but think, “Now slap his silly French ass again.” And Kofi Annan, noticing the commotion thinks to himself, “I sure am glad I brought Glenn Close as my bodyguard!”

  • itismedavid

    Oh, it’s right-hook, my bad.

  • Rick13

    Bush: “That’s not where I would have him kiss”!

  • Jewels

    hee hee… his hairy palms tickle!

  • Remembering the trauma of the last Chirac kiss, Laura Bush shrinks between her husband, President George W. Bush and the aging Donalta Rumsfeldia as Chirac presses his luck with Secretary of State, Condi Rice. Rozanne Barr was also in attendance.

  • “Psst. Don’t punch him in the teeth, Condi. There’s a camera pointed right at us.”

  • “Please, Ms. Rice, I implore you—don’t let him seek regime change in Paris…”

  • “Mais oui, you are correct, Dr Rice. It does appear to be a ganglion cyst.”

  • Bush singing to himself:
    “Got a black magic woman, got a black magic woman…”

  • Stan25

    The smiling woman thought bubble: “Why does that ugly American get a hand kiss from Jacques Chirac and all I get is a damned pocket rocket?”

  • Mon dieu! This smells a lot better than Yasser’s shmeckle.

  • SSG Pooh

    “Mmmm …. Tastes like chicken….”

  • Cancon

    Slurp, slurp slurp.

  • Condi shows she could teach Maplethorpe a thing or two about fisting an ass… while Bush regrets his decision to make both Rummy and Condi wear dresses as method of ensuring good behaivor…

  • Tom

    Get up, Jacques. I was kidding when I said there was a German behind you.

  • BUSH: Pssst… Condi. Count your fingers when you get that hand back.

  • hangingchad

    Chirac: “I better learn to kiss her hand now, because when she is President I am going to be kissing her a$$ anyway”
    Condi: “Note to self: When I’m President, remember to wear gloves when in France.”

  • shark

    mmmm I just love chocolate condi

  • Jaques distracts President Bush and Secretary Rice as Kofi Annan lifts the President’s wallet.

  • verna

    condi: dubya is he gonna start humping my leg?

  • Bush: if he doesn’t let her hand go in three seconds, there’ll be another funeral to attend.

  • Headling: U.S.-France Relations Warming at Papal Funeral Mass
    Chirac:((castrating Aunt Thomasina))

    Condi: ((simpering frog))

    Bush: ((I can’t watch this))

  • thfirstbrokenangel

    Jaques Chirac kisses the hand of our new Secretary of State, Condi Rice, being the gentleman he is but a kiss does not make for a stand up man


  • Dave M

    Bow down before me Surrender Monkey!

  • McCain

    In his latest Mr. Magoo moment, Chirac kisses the hand of the new Pope.

  • Alright frenchie – I let you get away with kissing my wife, but what did I tell you about kissing my Secretary of State last year ?

  • JTAO

    “Psst, dump the chimp, I need a new PM – one with big brass Balls!

  • Thinking quickly, Jacques Chirac does his best to make Condolezza Rice’s right hook look like something other than what it is.

  • Hodink

    All went well until he sneezed.

  • Rodney Dill

    “You know Jacques, this reminds me of my last trip to the ranch in Crawford. The Veterinarian had me put this arm up that heifer, clear up to my arm pit.”

  • Mmmmmm… Oil… of O-Lay.

  • McCain

    The French have always made important military contributions.

  • EvilTwin

    Mr. President:

    Since the Euroweenies have gotten DDT banned, I fear that I am going to have to use some of my sick time to recover from the case of frog cooties I am sure to get.

    I will be back on the job as soon as medically possible.


  • Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.