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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin
Published: December 9, 2006 - 2:55 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Spending a day on a plane as well as site problems delayed the contest, but we're back online and the contest is ready to go. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Courtney Chapman, a waitress dressed as a nurse at the Heart Attack Grill, holds up a triple bypass burger Friday, Dec. 1, 2006 in Tempe, Ariz. The waitresses at the restaurant, who wear minimal nurses attire, have angered a group of real Arizona nurses who say the servers demean their profession. (AP Photo/Matt York)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.

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Comments (77)

- The Leaker Burger: Sized... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Beth | December 9, 2006 3:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Beth:

- The Leaker Burger: Sized extra-large to fit the "unnamed official's" mouth!

- Nurse Morticia serves the Cardiac Burger™ to patient in the cafeteria at the hospital for the terminally ill.

- "Seasoned with exotic streptokinase!"

- DAAAAAA BEARSSSSSSSSSS!

1. Posted by Beth | December 9, 2006 3:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 03:27

One heart attack in sack, c... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by timturk | December 9, 2006 3:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
timturk:

One heart attack in sack, coming up.

2. Posted by timturk | December 9, 2006 3:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 03:59

Just FYI, the actual photo ... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Insomniac | December 9, 2006 4:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Insomniac:

Just FYI, the actual photo caption and link go to a pic of some dude dressed up as Santa Claus.

3. Posted by Insomniac | December 9, 2006 4:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 04:03

"Boy! I sure am glad there ... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by smitch | December 9, 2006 4:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
smitch:

"Boy! I sure am glad there are no green onions on this thing. I'd hate to chance getting e coli."

4. Posted by smitch | December 9, 2006 4:35 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 04:35

New burger is heart smart, ... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by billburz | December 9, 2006 5:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
billburz:

New burger is heart smart, comes with its own cardiac nurse.

5. Posted by billburz | December 9, 2006 5:07 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 05:07

"May I get you some Pepto a... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Francis W. Porretto | December 9, 2006 6:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Francis W. Porretto:

"May I get you some Pepto and an extra airsickness bag to go with this, sir?"

6. Posted by Francis W. Porretto | December 9, 2006 6:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 06:10

"Here you go, Ms. O'Donnell... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Adjustah | December 9, 2006 7:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Adjustah:

"Here you go, Ms. O'Donnell..."

7. Posted by Adjustah | December 9, 2006 7:12 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 07:12

Uh, Ms.? Yes, I believe tha... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Adjustah | December 9, 2006 7:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Adjustah:

Uh, Ms.? Yes, I believe that I ordered a DIET Coke with this?

8. Posted by Adjustah | December 9, 2006 7:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 07:13

"We call it the New York 'N... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by DaveD | December 9, 2006 7:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DaveD:

"We call it the New York 'Nanny' Burger, sir, no trans fats!"

9. Posted by DaveD | December 9, 2006 7:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 07:41

CLINTON LATE TO JOIN LINE<b... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Gingerguy | December 9, 2006 7:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gingerguy:

CLINTON LATE TO JOIN LINE
A Chappaqua restaurant designs new burger

Chappaqua, NY (AP)

Chappaqua police officer, Jamil Hussein stated today Pres. Bill Clinton was late to join a line that was forming of customers that wanted to be first to taste a new burger offered by a Chappaqua restaurant. The officer said Clinton's limo was the first to arrive at the restaurant, but Clinton did not immediately exit the vehicle. When he finally did emerge in a cloud of cigar smoke, Clinton was seen pulling up his pants and Monica Lewinsky was wiping off her blue dress. Officer Hussein reported that Clinton said exiting the vehicle, "I came here to satisfy my hunger and by chance will get a great burger".

10. Posted by Gingerguy | December 9, 2006 7:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 07:41

"We call it the Triple Bypa... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Tom Blogical | December 9, 2006 8:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

"We call it the Triple Bypass Burger. Would you like a side of our Flatline Fries to go with it?"

11. Posted by Tom Blogical | December 9, 2006 8:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:05

Under Islam, this much meat... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by MunDane | December 9, 2006 8:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MunDane:

Under Islam, this much meat would need to be covered in a burqa.

-Or-

The new Rosie O'Donnell burger. "Brittney, eat one of these a day, and in a month you can hide your naughty bits behind a flesh loincloth just like me!"

12. Posted by MunDane | December 9, 2006 8:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:26

"President Clinton, we pres... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by Rodney Dill | December 9, 2006 8:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"President Clinton, we present you the Sandy"

13. Posted by Rodney Dill | December 9, 2006 8:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:39

Store Motto:"We use ... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Rodney Dill | December 9, 2006 8:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Store Motto:
"We use protection when we touch your meat."

14. Posted by Rodney Dill | December 9, 2006 8:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:41

Talk about mouth watering d... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Baggi | December 9, 2006 8:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baggi:

Talk about mouth watering delicious!

That burger don't look half bad either.

15. Posted by Baggi | December 9, 2006 8:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:43

"There is no copyright infr... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Rodney Dill | December 9, 2006 8:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"There is no copyright infringment; this is three obese patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun."

16. Posted by Rodney Dill | December 9, 2006 8:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:44

Customer Michael Moore: You... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by glenn | December 9, 2006 8:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
glenn:

Customer Michael Moore: Your burger is ready.

17. Posted by glenn | December 9, 2006 8:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:45

Nurse, can we skip the burg... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Taz | December 9, 2006 8:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Taz:

Nurse, can we skip the burger and just go straight to the "mouth to mouth"?

18. Posted by Taz | December 9, 2006 8:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:49

Thr Transfats underworld is... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Faith+1 | December 9, 2006 8:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

Thr Transfats underworld is in full swing in NYC. Here we see a young "fat whore" pushing her wares to our camerman. "Go ahead, take a bite.", she says. "The first one is free."

19. Posted by Faith+1 | December 9, 2006 8:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 08:49

would you like fries with t... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by boynamedgoo | December 9, 2006 9:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
boynamedgoo:

would you like fries with that Mr. Moore?

20. Posted by boynamedgoo | December 9, 2006 9:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 09:11

"Thats a whole lot of coles... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Gmac | December 9, 2006 9:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gmac:

"Thats a whole lot of colesterol going down there!"

21. Posted by Gmac | December 9, 2006 9:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 09:25

Can you super-size my Zocor... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Mitchell | December 9, 2006 9:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mitchell:

Can you super-size my Zocor, too?

22. Posted by Mitchell | December 9, 2006 9:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 09:30

Honey, let's forget about t... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Elroy Jetson | December 9, 2006 9:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Elroy Jetson:

Honey, let's forget about the burger. Why don't you come on over here and ask me to cough?

23. Posted by Elroy Jetson | December 9, 2006 9:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 09:53

Amy was surprised to find h... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | December 9, 2006 9:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Medcalf:

Amy was surprised to find herself charged with attempted murder on her first morning at work.

24. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | December 9, 2006 9:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 09:58

Get yer trans fats while th... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Nylda | December 9, 2006 10:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Nylda:

Get yer trans fats while they last!

25. Posted by Nylda | December 9, 2006 10:02 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 10:02

"You want fries widdat?"</p... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Rodney Dill | December 9, 2006 10:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"You want fries widdat?"

26. Posted by Rodney Dill | December 9, 2006 10:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 10:05

Here is a related photo fro... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by heptacableguy | December 9, 2006 10:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
heptacableguy:

Here is a related photo from the Heart Attack Grill:

http://www.foxnews.com/images/245460/0_21_120906_nurse01.jpg

(warning: take your nitroglycerine pill before opening photo)

27. Posted by heptacableguy | December 9, 2006 10:08 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 10:08

After her recent pledge to ... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Eric | December 9, 2006 10:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric:

After her recent pledge to not seek impeachment procedings against the President and Vice-President, Nancy Pelosi offers Dick Cheney an early Christmas present.

28. Posted by Eric | December 9, 2006 10:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 10:45

Hey,I'm missing a ... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Touched | December 9, 2006 10:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Touched:

Hey,

I'm missing a pattie!

29. Posted by Touched | December 9, 2006 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 10:53

The fast food/cholesterol d... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Jason | December 9, 2006 10:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jason:

The fast food/cholesterol drug cold war heats up with the introduction of the Gut Bomb, which comes with a medium drink, medium fries and a crash cart.

30. Posted by Jason | December 9, 2006 10:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 10:56

Here you go Mr Litvinenko. ... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Timmer | December 9, 2006 11:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Timmer:

Here you go Mr Litvinenko. One Nuclear Burger with the works.

31. Posted by Timmer | December 9, 2006 11:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:00

That's stretching it young ... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by 914 | December 9, 2006 11:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

That's stretching it young lady!

32. Posted by 914 | December 9, 2006 11:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:18

"Here's you're order, Mr. S... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Tom Blogical | December 9, 2006 11:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

"Here's you're order, Mr. Simpson."

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...a three 1/4 pound burger-stacker with extra fat and alllllll the trimmings...including cream filling...harlalarllrlralrl..."

33. Posted by Tom Blogical | December 9, 2006 11:19 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:19

Intoducing the new "Bure... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by 914 | December 9, 2006 11:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

Intoducing the new "Bureaucrat Burger" loaded with fat, pork, grease and earmarked for big spender's..

34. Posted by 914 | December 9, 2006 11:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:24

"Hi, my name is Angie. I'l... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by RickZ | December 9, 2006 11:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
RickZ:

"Hi, my name is Angie. I'll be your server/cardiac nurse for the evening."

35. Posted by RickZ | December 9, 2006 11:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:32

Michael Moore a trois... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Usful Ijit | December 9, 2006 11:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Usful Ijit:

Michael Moore a trois

36. Posted by Usful Ijit | December 9, 2006 11:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:44

where's the beef?... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by brad | December 9, 2006 11:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
brad:

where's the beef?

37. Posted by brad | December 9, 2006 11:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:51

EAT ME!... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Billj | December 9, 2006 11:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Billj:

EAT ME!

38. Posted by Billj | December 9, 2006 11:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:54

Now that the Democratic-led... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Joe | December 9, 2006 11:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Joe:

Now that the Democratic-led congress had raised the minimum wage, fast-food workers everywhere are saying "thank you" the only way they know how.
Support the unionization of Wal-Mart and get a triple burger deluxe on the house!

39. Posted by Joe | December 9, 2006 11:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 11:54

Believe it or not, we pulle... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by DBrooks | December 9, 2006 12:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DBrooks:

Believe it or not, we pulled six of these out of former President Carter's ass.

40. Posted by DBrooks | December 9, 2006 12:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on December 9, 2006 12:07

e-coli = mad cow cubed</... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Usful Ijit | December 9, 2006 12:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)