Life in Florida V

More news from around the Sunshine State

Just lyin’ around- A man dies and his body begins to decompose, but no one reports it for at least three days.

Caution to Florida firefighters- Don’t knock on bathroom doors if a police woman is inside. Otherise you may get tasered.

Florida newspapers are laying off people left and right. Do those layoff include all staffers who can do simple multiplication? According to the Sun-Sentinel editorial board, eight times three thousand equals twenty-one thousand.

Sweet deal? Communities across Florida are facing budget cuts due to the recent passage of a property tax resolution. Still the State of Florida has over one billion dollars to buy land from US Sugar. I’ll never understand the math in this state……

Miami Herald headline of the day- ‘Man in Plaid robs bank‘. I guess the local media believes t-shirt and shorts are the only correct attire for people making unauthorized withdrawals in Florida.

Miami Beach’s newest tourist attraction- A brothel on wheels. One detective says ‘In 19 years, I’ve never seen this.’

Can you help me?- Crack smoking Mom is arrested after she visits a police station and says she doesn’t know where her two children are. Like any good Mom, ‘she hoped they were not hurt, according to an arrest report’.

Absolutely shocking- Palm Beach County has an election without any snafus.

Media layoffs are really taking its toll when it comes to headline writing. This gem for example- ‘Lakeland couple wanted in deaths of two step-brothers caught in Alabama

The Devil made me do it- Florida evangelist who said a vote for Romney was a vote for Satan is being investigated by the IRS.

Gas chamber- A Ft. Lauderdale museum has to close after someone starts up the engines of two antique cars that are on display.

$12 an hour isn’t good enough- Accounts Receivable and Accounts Payable Clerk steals over $300,000 in a four to five year period before being caught.

The lad of war- Congressman asks “How did a company run by a 21-year-old president and a 25-year-old former masseur get a sensitive $300 million contract to supply ammunition to Afghan forces?” They live in Florida of course.

Hat tip- Rick at SFDB

Vote Obama... or DIE!!!
I Guess All Is Forgiven
  • mojo

    One detective says ‘In 19 years, I’ve never seen this.’

    I’d say he needs to get out more – this is an old gag.

  • Another outrageous case from Florida is the Pensacola one involving a website operator, Ray Gund who was pressured into a plea bargain deal on Tuesday to pleading guilty to money laundering charges for running an adult entertainment website that would not meet with the legal definitions of criminal obscenity or the legal definition of pandering in the state of California. However in politically conservative Florida, Gund was very fearful of facing trial set for June 30, and could face 90 years if convicted of all charges including racketeering and distribution of obscenity, and decided to accept three to five years in prison instead of risking 90 years, the same as the death penalty for offering a website with a little skin.

    This marks the second wacky obscenitty case coming out of Florida within the last two weeks. Previously the rap group Two Man Live Crew and a record store owner had to defend themselves in court in Florida from obscenity charges.

    Who knew that Florida was run by the Taliban. Better buy those Florida women some burkas.