State Of The Union: The Drinking Game!

Tonight, President Obama gives his first State Of The Union address. And while I’m a non-drinker (medical reasons, coupled with an extensive family history of alcoholism), I “feel the pain” of others who will have to sit through the speech.

So, to lighten that burden, I’m proposing a SOTU Drinking Game.

First up, a tribute to TOTUS. Two drinks, one for each of the TelePrompter’s screens.

Then, once Obama starts speaking, here are the rules:

Tiny sip: Every time Obama refers to himself (let’s not get hurt here, folks)

One Drink:

“Unprecedented”

“I will not sleep”

“Let me make this clear”

“I will fight for you”

Two drinks:

Indirectly blames Bush for his problems

Blames “Wall Street” for problems

Chug:

Claims Scott Brown’s victory as an endorsement of himself, and not a repudiation

Talks about cracking down on tax cheats, and camera goes to Timothy Geithner

Specifies who he’s going to fight against when he’s “fighting for us.”

Anyone else got any suggestions? Or wanna make predictions on their blood alcohol content by the end of the speech?

SOTUS And The ObamaCon
How much safer would the world be if the feminist movement stood up for women?
  • GianiD

    Sip whenever camera pans to Joe Wilson, but do a shot if it shows Joe Wilson withing 5 seconds of another Obama lie.

  • sarahconnor2

    Count the number of times Pelosi blinks-every 100 equals one drink.

  • GianiD

    1 espresso or Red Bull whenever Biden or Pelosi look bored.

  • blah

    How about:

    “There are those that say”
    “they would rather do nothing”

  • C’mon…how could you not have one for every time he says ‘inherited’?

  • GarandFan

    TURN THE VOLUME OFF! One “sip” each time Nancy jumps up and claps. This is pure entertainment. Especially after the 4th or 5th time as Biden also has to get up with her – so watch his expression the 6th time she jumps up – and thereafter.

    You’re intelligence isn’t insulted by listening to Barry droning on and on about his magnificence. You get to take in the king and queen playing musical chairs on the dais.

  • Dr Carlo Lombardi

    “C’mon…how could you not have one for every time he says ‘inherited’?
    5. Posted by Falze | January 27, 2010 1:12 PM”

    Because emergency rooms across the nation would be clogged with cases of alcohol poisoning.

  • 914

    A shot of bourbon

    Mentions Teddy and healthcare in the same breath.

    A beer bong

    Directly blames Bush.

  • Razorgirl

    Make it a fund raiser instead of a drinking game. We could raise a bundle with a $5 donation to the Anybody but Harry Reid campaign every time he says “let me make this clear.” $10 to the Anybody but Blanche campaign every time he says “inherited”. Joe Wilson could get donations for any amnesty reference, etc.

  • Yogurt

    A shot of Yeager for every straw man, I’ll be under the table 15 minutes into the speech…

  • 914

    Half a glass if Barry wears an empty blue suit with a red tie again and a whole glass if His lips are still purple.

  • Burt

    Sorry, I am ‘poor folk’. No way I could ever afford that much booze. I guess I will just have to entertain myself by substituting “Unpresidented” for “unprecedented”

  • Anon Y. Mous

    So, to lighten that burden, I’m proposing a SOTU Drinking Game.

    You’re one of those guys the prohibitionists warned me about – trying to tempt me with the devil’s brew.

    And while I’m a non-drinker (medical reasons, coupled with an extensive family history of alcoholism), I “feel the pain” of others who will have to sit through the speech.

    Oooohh! You are an evil one!

  • Avid reader

    I think every time he mentions himself, I’m going to stick a finger in my throat until I vomit. I will probably wear out my molars by the end of his speech, if his other humble speeches are any predictor.

  • Staylor

    New York Times: January 26th.
    “In the wake of President Obama’s first State of the Union Address hundreds of people across the country were found dead in their homes of alcohaul poisoning. This calamity appeared to originate with a website called ‘Wizbang’, where an author proposed a drinking game with the following rule, “Tiny sip: Every time Obama refers to himself (let’s not get hurt here, folks).” Despite that caution at the end, familiy of the deceased report that their loved ones lost the ability of coherant speech within the first fifteen minutes of the hour and a half long speech….”

  • iwogisdead

    I’ll play the game, but I’ll have to keep sneaking gulps on the side if I’m ever gonna get drunk enough to sit through the whole thing.

  • Sir Toby Belch

    I predict he’ll wow us with a classic “Gallagher” show tonight.
    Those in the front rows will be given
    plastic ponchos. O’Gallagher will smash
    various edible props with an oversized
    wooden mallet. By the time he works his
    way up to the watermelons, the people
    will be at one with him, again.

  • Jlawson

    That might be worth watching, Toby…

  • Jim Addison

    This is very dangerous stuff. Drinking every time Obama says “unprecendented” alone could cause serious problems.

    The best OBAMA SOTU Drinking Game is to tune in one of the basketball games and toast yourself for having the good sense to avoid wasting two hours of your life on that preening, prancing peacock who passes for a President.

  • Will

    If you really want to get smashed just take the big three; “I”, “clear”, and “transparent”

  • Here’s a thought – sleep through the silly thing! I get up at 5 a.m. No way am I staying up way past my bedtime to spend my time peering at a poseur with an oversized ego and an undersized brain babble on and on about what he intends to do for us when I know full well he’ll do absolutely nothing good!

    Screw that. I’ll read the transcript on the Internet in the morning.

  • justpassingthrough

    With those kind of rules, I’ll take a pass on the drinking game.
    I would like to have a functioning liver the next day.

  • BluesHarper

    Save some room for several shots after the speech when the MSM tells us what the speech was really about, because we are too stoopid to understand it.

    Take a drink or sip whenever you think the MSM was listening to a totally different speech than you just heard. YIKES!!

  • Jay Tea: I got a .08 just thinking about all the alcohol I’d have to consume over this.
    On the other hand, it might make listening to the drone drone that much easier!

    Eat lots of crackers or bread before the speech!

  • Speller

    If Obama blames Wall Street and says he’s fighting against Wall Streets interests is that 2 drinks and a chug?

    I recommend a chug if Obama claims new interest in creating/saving jobs, and suggests the solution is Stimulus II and more socialism.

  • Zelsdorf Ragshaft III

    I am waiting for him to state “I have always said” after which follows some whopper of a lie. I plan to watch until I hear those words. I don’t drink any more nor do I consume controlled substances and I want to keep it that way. Listen to this guy could get someone in recovery to spark up a doob.

  • ac

    One shot every time they pan to MEchelle

    One shot if she’s showing off her well toned arms.

    One shot if her outfit is too tight.

  • ac

    A glass of champagne and a toast every time they pan to Scott Brown(if he’s there).

  • hermie

    “As I have always said…”

  • retired military

    One sip for every minute over an hour he goes (again lets not get hurt).

    One drink for every time blinky (Pelosi) jumps up out of her chair.

    One drink for every time he mentions republican obstructionism.

    One drink for every “Let’s talk about Joe nobody who is in the audience and how he needs healthcare or a job or is out of work or something terrible happened to him.”

  • Grace

    A different game (one that’s actually good for you)

    1. Sound off.
    2. Jump up every time Nancy does.

    At the end of the evening at least you will have gotten some exercise.

  • retired military

    How about a toast of good Scottish whiskey every time someone calls him a liar?

  • Peter F.

    By the end of the first 4 minutes of the speech, I’d need a liver transplant.

  • Jeff Blogworthy

    I’m going out on a limb here and saying that some poor folks are going to be dead of blood alcohol poisoning by the end of the speech.

  • bryanD

    Word is that Obama will declare for repeal of Don’t Ask/ Don’t Tell in his SOTU address.

    Disastrous.

    Fortunately, it will be tabled after kabuki passion play.

    Reeeeallly! Another false Line In the Sand?

  • A shout-out to any Haitian in attendance, or to anyone who helps Haitians, with the possible exception of John Edwards.

  • Shawn

    I’m sure Obama will invoke the “spirit” of the late Ted Kennedy a few times.

    We could get drunk from that alone.

  • iwogisdead

    I just realized that the TOTUS SOTU is on opposite of Ghosthunters. So, I’m going to get drunk and watch Ghosthunters instead–more realistic.

  • epador

    I have taken a swig each time I shouted out

    You Lie

    I need another 750 ml bottle of Old Crustacean, and I am already smashed.