Remember how we all laughed back when I said for all I care Barack Obama could dress up like Lili Von Shtupp and sing show tunes as long as he didn’t screw things up too bad? Well who’s laughing now? Not me. I wish he’d make with the show tunes and drag already. Maybe play some basketball in a dress. Wasn’t there a b-movie about some washed out NBA player playing in the WNBA in drag?
Sunday when we met at my sister’s for Easter, I happened to pick up the Metro section and there was an ad for the Hung-Dingers. Apparently a trio of traveling troubadours in drag impersonating Cher, Bette Midler, and Tina Turner is performing over in Dallas’ gay district. I was giggling to myself like a pointy-headed cretin picturing a bunch of guys standing in line with their wives outside, one standing on a bench throwing a noose over a lamp post and another looking at the Sun through binoculars and yet another packing firecrackers under his eyelids and in his ears and one sucking on an exhaust pipe…
This is the sort of premium quality pontificating you’ve come to expect from the World’s 53rd highest rated political blog.
Which brings us to the topic of which sports conservatives and liberals enjoy. I thought at first this survey on sports viewing and preference might be an April Fool goof or satire to sucker the gullible, but it’s legitimate. It just seemed too perfect.
Now this may come as a shocker, but NASCAR fans are likely to be Republican. And tomcats are likely to procreate in the wild, right? The five sports most likely to be watched by Republicans are:
- PGA golf
- College football
- Pro Bull Riding
We can assume the PGA will drop off the list as racist Republican viewers tune out once Tiger Woods returns. College football makes sense as we drunken fraternity boys spent our time watching football instead of seeing all the unfairness in America. And then three sports with no black participants. Typical.
I swear you’ll think this is made up, but the sports most likely to be watched by Democrats are:
- Women’s Tennis
- Major League Soccer
See, I was going somewhere with the basketball in drag thing. I knew there was a reason the WNBA existed – television executives can’t travel anywhere in their Democrat-dominated enclaves without overhearing breathless fans talking about the high quality, fundamentally sound play they saw in last night’s Sparks game.
World Wrestling Entertainment is sort of a head scratcher, though. On the other hand, Democrats do seem to live in their own little fantasy world. We can take solace in knowing WWE fans are the least likely to vote of all sports viewing demographics.
Me? I like women’s golf. There just something about Oriental gals in shorts bending and stooping and gripping. It’s true. They go together like Kentucky bluegrass, featherbed bent, and Northern California sinsemilla.