A priest, a rabbi, and Sandra Fluke walk into a bar…

…and place their drink orders.  The bartender serves them their drinks, they pay him, then settle back to relax.  Suddenly, Sandra Fluke urgently flags down the bartender with a question.

“Is there is a prophylactic machine in the restroom?”

“Sure, there’s one in the men’s room,” the bartender replies.

“Good.  I purchased a drink from you, I gave you a tip, so now I insist you go to the men’s room and bring me all the prophylactics I want.”

“Look, ma’am,” he says, “I’ve got a bar to run.  If you need some condoms there’s a change machine by the pool tables.  You’re gonna have to take care of your birth control needs yourself.”


Duck and cover
A priest and a lesbian walk into a bar . . .
  • Commander_Chico

    Wizbang:  now all Fluke, all of the time.

    • ackwired

      There seems to be a need to demonize anyone who disagrees witht the party line.

      • Yeah, especially that cunt Sarah Palin.

        • Commander_Chico

          Speaking about bars, you’re cut off.  No more drinks for you.

          • Oh, my mistake, I thought we were discussing people being demonized for disagreeing with the party line.

          • jim_m

             Oh, my mistake

            You mean it was just a fluke?

          • Vagabond661

            If you follow Rush you’re a Ditto Head. Follow the Green Bay Packers and yer a Cheese Head. If you follow Fluke…

          •  And if you follow the Democrats you have your head up a donkey’s ass…

      •  Yes, we’ve noticed you leftist filth have been like that for some time.  Die, commie, die!

        • ackwired

          As you and the Baron both testify, there is no difference between the extreme left and the extreme right when it comes to dishonest tactics.

    •  It wasn’t us who faked a “congressional hearing” to get her publicity.

      Fluke off, wanker.

      • Brucehenry

        Umm, you are aware that the party out of power has been putting on these so-called “sham” hearings forever, right?

        It was done by the GOP before 1994, done by Waxman and the Democrats from 1995-2007, done by Issa and the Republicans from 2007-2011, and now is being done by the Dems again. It’s nothing new.

        • jim_m

            you are aware that the party out of power has been putting on these so-called “sham” hearings forever, right?

          Gee, funny then how your supposedly objective media never covers those but only covers the ones put on by leftist cranks.

          • Brucehenry

            How much media coverage did the Fluke “hearing” receive before Limbaugh made a big deal of it?

          • jim_m

             How much would it have received if it were a TEA Party protest?   Zero.  That is the point. 

          • Brucehenry

            Yeah, the Tea Party “movement” got no coverage at all!

          • jim_m

             just negative

      • Commander_Chico

        Wank off, fluker.

        • If you find the Baron and his comenters (and Wizbang in general) so offensive, why are you still here?

    • Brucepall

      Here let  me edit your edit:

      Fluke: Its now wizbang, all of the time.

      • Commander_Chico

        Meanwhile, in the last week we have:

        1.  A collapse of the Afghan war precipitated by a burned-out and wounded soldier who killed Afghan children;

        2.  A continuing primary fight between Romney, Santorum and the spoiler, Newt;

        3.  The war drums beating on Iran and Syria;

        4.  Kony 2012;

        5.  Continuing major problems with the Euro;

        but this place thinks Fluke is the subject most worthy of attention.


        • jim_m

           A collapse of the Afghan war precipitated by a burned-out and wounded soldier who killed Afghan children;

          I think you’ve got your cause and effect reversed there my friend.

        • You left off Obama’s record six fundraisers in a single day on Friday.

          I’ve got news for you, sport, every single one of those issues has been percolating for months – if not years.

          Yet it was Barack Obama who decided now was the right time to push an abortion mandate on the church.  Nancy Pelosi who thought it would be a swell time to trot out this wealthy, self-absorbed beggar at some farcical show hearing in support of that mandate.  And Obama, once again, making a (sym)pathetic phone call to her in support after that big meanie Rush Limbaugh gave her the mocking she so rightly deserves.

          I’m just some slack-jawed, anonymous contributor to a piss ant conservative blog.  What’s their excuse?

          • herddog505

            Baron Von Ottomatic[I]t was Barack Obama who decided now was the right time to push an abortion mandate on the church.

            While stipulating that the proximate issue here is birth control and not abortion, I think that this point is key.  Now, I get that libs hate the Catholic Church (they molest little boys, you know) and also have no problem with the federal government ordering anybody to do anything (so long as they agree with it) and to hell with the Constitution.  For the rest of us, however, this is a pretty serious slip down the slope: the president, with no authority in the Constitution and no authority at all other than a huge “health care law” that nobody read before it was signed, claims the power to mandate that organizations provide a service to people FOR FREE.  Barry initially tried to order the Catholic Church to do it; when that didn’t work, he turned right ’round and ordered insurance companies to do it.

            So, yeah: I’d say that the President of the United States assuming this sort of power is a pretty big deal and deserves quite a lot of discussion.

        • jim_m

           Seriously, Chica.  Don’t blame the failures of 0bama on the US military.


          0bama left our troops out there to hang without any real objective or support.  Don’t blame them for his failures.  Yes the act is reprehensible, but it did not cause the collapse of our efforts in Afghanistan.  0bama had already accomplished that.

          Despite your posturing you are still a blame America first leftist.

          • The Armed Forces can, and have, fought every enemy to a standstill.  It’s the politicians, particularly the Democrats, who piss those hard won victories away.

          • Commander_Chico

            Good article by Yon.  It supports my policy of GTFO.

            There is no objective possible in Afghanistan.  There is no partner among the Afghans.  The Karzai government is more corrupt than the South Vietnamese government was in 1975.  The Afghans don’t like foreign soldiers in their country – simple as that.

            We put that soldier in an impossible position, every death now is known to be futile.  One thing Kerry asked was appropriate – “How do you ask a man to be the last to die for a mistake?”

          • herddog505

            Wait… wasn’t A-stan the “good war” as far as libs were concerned?  And fighting in Iraq was “taking our eye off the ball”?  I’m so confused.  It’s almost like the left doesn’t want to win ANYWHERE.

            By the way: is there an appropriate way to ask a man to be the last to die for ANYTHING?  “Hey, we got ’em licked and the war will be over tomorrow.  But… um… well… SOMEBODY’S got to stop that last bullet, and… um… well, YOUR name has been mentioned…”

          • Commander_Chico

            First, if Chico were president on 9/11, there would not have been a 9/11, because he would have acted on warnings and got Bin Laden for the 1998 embassy bombings already.

            But if Chico missed that and 9/11 happened, Chico would not have overreacted and flailed around like Bush did.  The number one priority would have been getting Bin Laden, Zawahiri and crew, up to and including the use of Rangers to seal the mountain passes at Tora Bora.

            Hunting the actual perpetrators whereever they were – including Saudi Arabia – would have been the game, not occupying countries. 

            Liberals liked the Afghan war because there was no oil there (just minerals for Chinese mining companies) and they had oppressed women. It is that “Responsibility to Protect” nonsense now being used to justify arming Al Qaeda in Syria. Perversely, promoting violence ends up not protecting people – like in Libya, who would have thought that arming gangs would have a bad effect?

          • herddog505

            What “warnings”???  Who warned anybody, “Hey, some goons are going to get on planes Tuesday morning, hijack them, then crash them into buildings”???  Even if there HAD been such warnings, what to do?  Ground all flights?   Arrest innocent members of the Religion of Peace for buying airline tickets?  Have the Air Force maintain a CAP over all major cities with order to shoot down any aircraft that gets within fifty miles of downtown?  Further, given all the “warnings” that the USG presumably gets (including a rather infamous one that Saddam was trying to build WMD), how does one separate the wheat from the chaff?

            Liberals liked the war in A-stan for one reason and one reason alone: because it gave them creds to attack Bush on Iraq (that they voted for).  They could yap about Tora Bora, taking our eye off the ball, diverting vital resources, etc.  But, as we’re seeing, they have no more desire to win there that in Iraq.  It’s been a politically-motivated sham from Day One, an attempt to recreate the Vietnam Era for their shabby political advantage.

        • herddog505

          On the other hand, Wizbang is miles ahead of MiniTru.  At least Wizbang doesn’t spend its time (A) flacking for Barry and (B) discussing the hijinks of various Hollywood celebrities.

          • Um, that latter would be part of what Wizbang Pop is about…

      • UOG

        Another fluke is a fish, commonly referred to as a flounder. It has both eyes on the left side of its head, lies on the bottom and is a voracious predator. Lots of sharp teeth and a taste for small fish. I think that’s also an adequate description of Ms Fluke.

        Anyhow, you filet a fluke…

        • herddog505

          I thought a fluke was a type of parasite.


          • UOG

            Yup, no denying that. Ah, the wonders of the English language, where you can bear arms or use those arms to shoot a bear… and then there is always the confusion caused by running around bare.

  • Justrand

    St. Fluke, Patron Saint of Mattresses, will not be pleased with this thread! 

  • Sandra Fluke, the queen of the double breasted mattress thrashers.

  • jim_m

    Not surprisingly a Fluke is a class of parasite.  http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Fluke

  • After reading all of the above, I’ll have whatever the priest is having. Baron, join me for a drink. You’ve beaten the dead horse long enough.

  • Stephen Macklin

    One of my favorite recreational pleasures is sailing yet neither the Republicans or the Democrats will buy me a sailboat or require that my insurance pay for one. When will the War on Sailing end?

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