It’s Against The Law To Give Wedgie

Painful-Wedgie_620

This is what happens we you try too hard to be a MTV-style Jackass…

JANUARY 14–A video prankster was arrested last night for battery after he allegedly gave wedgies to a series of victims outside a Florida movie theater, police report.

Charles Ross, 18, was busted on the misdemeanor charge after a male victim, 20, told cops that Ross grabbed him “by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard,” according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.

Investigators reported that Ross gave wedgies to several other victims, but that they “were too embarrassed to want to pursue charges.” In each instance, Ross “was filming the crime with a camera.”

The wedgie footage was likely ticketed for Ross’s YouTube page, which includes dozens of videos showing the Bradenton resident accosting pedestrians, running around while only wearing an adult diaper, and antagonizing beachgoers. His most popular video, posted two weeks ago, has about 670,000 views.

He should be arrested, as evidenced by his unfunny videos, for general douchery…

Shortlink:

Posted by on January 15, 2013.
Filed under Dumb Criminals, Dumbasses.
Doug Johnson is a news junkie and long time blog reader, turned author.

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  • Commander_Chico

    There’s a guy who needs a good ass-kicking.

    • herddog505

      Problem: if one kicked his ass, one would likely end up having an unpleasant chat with the police. “Proportionate response”, “vigilante!” and all of that.

      I should say that I’m not being sarcastic and I completely agree that a good ass-kicking is exactly what turds like this guy need. The problem is where we draw the line in our society between John Q. Public reasonably taking matters into his own hands and John Q. Public being some sort of vigilante, as lawless as the people whose ass he kicks. We start learning to rely on the Authorities early on: “You aren’t supposed to FIGHT, Little Johnny: when Little Joey picks on you, you’re supposed to tell the teacher.” Do we rely on them too much? Where on the spectrum between “the guy was a jerk so I rapped him in the mouth” to “the guy threatened me so I shot him to death” do we draw the line between dealing with problems ourselves and letting the Authorities do it for us?

      • Commander_Chico

        It’s self-defense from an assault and battery, maybe even a sexual assault and battery.

        I’d take my chances with the police and courts, particularly since the fool provided video evidence.

        • herddog505

          Devil’s advocate:

          You’re really going to shove or hit somebody, possibly escalating the situation to the point where somebody is seriously hurt, because he gave you a wedgie?

          /devil’s advocate

          Again, I completely agree with you. However, I suggest that, in more (ahem) litigious jurisdictions, this might go to court with bad results for you if things got out of hand.

          • JWH

            All things need to be in proportion, Herd. If a dude gives you a wedgie and you punch him in response, I doubt that a jury is going to convict you …. but what if he wedgies you, and you respond by pushing him down, then kicking him repeatedly in the head?

          • jim_m

            If someone comes up and assaults me I can do whatever necessary to stop them. If they assault me and run away and then I pursue them, I may be liable for any injury I cause them.

            But if they assault me and remain there I have no idea what their state of mind is and whether or not they will continue the attack. I have the right to defend myself with whatever means are available to ensure that the attacker cannot continue their assault. That means that in some states I have the right to shoot the SOB dead on the spot. If a woman were attacked in this way she would have just cause to think that she was being sexually assaulted and I would not fault her for putting a couple of rounds through the pervert.

          • herddog505

            Ditto.

          • Commander_Chico

            Yes, I would probably turn around and punch him in the face.

          • herddog505

            I’ll hold him down while you kick him.

          • retired.military

            Can I get in on this too. Damn for once I am siding with Chico.

          • retired.military

            Devil’s advocate – 2 kids got suspended for pointing their fingers at each other and saying bang.

      • JWH

        I think you miss a point here in your playground metaphor: Little Johnny should not use fists when little Joey has used only words. And if Little Joey uses fists, little Johnny is certainly within his rights to use fists in his defense … but little Joey punching little Johnny does not mean that Johnny then gets to knock Joey down and kick him repeatedly a la Ender. That’s what proportional response means.

        • herddog505

          In the adult world, what does the law say?* Is “proportionate response” codified anywhere? Who decides what is or isn’t “proportionate”? Let’s say this little smartass pulls his stunt and the outraged victim knocks out a tooth or two. Proportionate? Or the victim shoves him so hard that he’s knocked off his feet, cracks his skull, and gets a concussion. Proportionate? “I didn’t mean to hit / shove him THAT hard…”

          I realize that much relies on the discretion of many people in the chain, from the police officer who decides that nothing needs be officially reported to the DA who declines to prosecute to (potentially) the jury that decides not to convict.

          Sorry; these sorts of philosophical questions interest me.

          ===

          (*) NC General Statute 14-33:

          (a) Any person who commits a simple assault or a simple assault and battery or participates in a simple affray is guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor. [emphasis mine - hd505]

          NCGS 14-33.1

          In any case of assault, assault and battery, or affray in which the plea of the defendant is self‑defense, evidence of former threats against the defendant by the person alleged to have been assaulted by him, if such threats shall have been communicated to the defendant before the altercation, shall be competent as bearing upon the reasonableness of the claim of apprehension by the defendant of bodily harm, and also as bearing upon the amount of force which reasonably appeared necessary to the defendant, under the circumstances, to repel his assailant.

          http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/enactedlegislation/statutes/html/bychapter/chapter_14.html

          • jim_m

            The response does not need to be “proportionate”. The response needs to be sufficient to stop the attacker. So if someone attacks me with their hands and is punching and kicking me, I can still draw a gun and shoot him. The left doesn’t like that fact but their not liking it doesn’t make it less true.

          • herddog505

            I see what you mean, but if the little f*cker gives you a wedgie and runs off laughing, there’s nothing to stop: he’s already done it and any action you might take would not be “stopping the attack”.

            A more extreme example is the core of the plot of the superb movie “Anatomy of a Murder”: a man’s wife is allegedly raped, and he shoots to death her attacker a few hours later. He is then charged with premeditated murder as he was not stopping the assault because it had already taken place and he had plenty of time and opportunity to call the police.*

            ===

            “Anatomy of a Murder” (1959)
            dir. Otto Preminger

          • JWH

            And that’s another issue — you would, in fact, be committing a new offense by chasing after him and, say, tackling him and beating the ever-loving crap out of him. You’re not stopping him anymore. You’re committing an act of revenge.

            I think that from a greater societal point of view, there’s an interest in discouraging that sort of thing. Those kinds of slights have a tendency to feed on each other. Dude wedgies you. You beat him up in revenge. Then in revenge for that slight, he gathers up a group of friends to come after you, and before you know it, it’s the HerdDogs and the McCoys.

            Yes, I am aware that I am wildly, wildly exaggerating this sort of thing, but I’m trying to make a point. If you have a choice between private individuals extracting punishment and the rather impersonal law extracting punishment, the rather impersonal law has a potential to be less destructive.

          • JWH

            I’m not sure about “codified,” but there are some bits and pieces both in statutes and in the common law. I wish I could produce the specific citations for you, but it’s been a long, long time since Crim Law.

            But the statute you cite is pretty good. “the amount of force which reasonably appeared necessary to the defendant, under the circumstances, to repel his assailant.”

            So if Wedgie dude comes up to you and gives you the Wedgie, and you respond by knocking him down, you’ve taken action to stop him. Now, if you knock him down, then he says “enough, dude, I’ve stopped, I’ve stopped!” and you follow up by, say, grabbing a hammer and beating him some more … you’ve just committed a new offense.

          • JWH

            (Personally, I don’t think I’d respond by assaulting him. I’ve looked at his YouTube feed, and I would find it far more satisfying to sue him into penury. Hit him once, and you ruin his day. Send him into bankruptcy, and you ruin his life).

          • herddog505

            I like the way you think!

          • JWH

            I’m a vindictive bastard sometimes. I actually watched one of his videos called “kissing strangers.” He ran up to people (a mix of men and women) and kissed them on the cheek before running away. Just looking at that thing, I saw so many things. Battery. Sexual assault, depending on how you interpret an unwanted kiss. And, of course, there’s the fact that he doesn’t blur out people’s faces in the video. Did he remember to get waivers? If not, he’s just appropriated other people’s likenesses and used them to earn himself money on YouTube.

          • retired.military

            I like Tx. if you feel you are in fear for your life, your family;s life or your property you can use deadly force. “your honor I was in fear that my shorts would get torn and the blood supply to my balls would get cut off therefore negating my chance for future proprogation.”
            Judge ” case dismissed”

  • http://www.facebook.com/jefferson.pickles Jefferson Pickles

    no way hahah this guy is awsome i salute rosscreations! The dude is a comedic genius. He should have his own tv show. like so what vitaly pretended he had a bomb lighten up people

    • Commander_Chico

      Die bitch die.

    • JWH

      Contrast his work with that of Improv Everywhere. He walks up to people and gives them wedgies. Improv Everywhere walks up to unsuspecting couples in Central Park and serves them a four-course meal.

  • JWH

    Walking up to strangers and giving them a wedgies is, indeed, an assault. Videotaping them while doing it is rude. To do this is to invite a lawsuit, criminal charges, an asskicking, or all of the above.

    • herddog505

      A friend of mine added another consideration:
      What if this clown did this to somebody with some sort of medical condition or abdominal injury?

      • JWH

        Which is why people stop pulling shit like this by the time they’re 15.

  • GarandFan

    I think one can safely assume that Ross doesn’t do this to people sporting gang tattoos.