The American Experience: Atlanta Style

(The following video isn’t exactly news-worthy, but, it is a worthy watch. The action gets better (or worse, depending on your interpretation) as the video progresses, especially around the 2:50 mark. There’s a bit of crude language in this snap-shot of urban life, so if you are particularly sensitive to that, feel free to cover your ears.)

If this is indicative of modern-day city life in America, I count my blessings for having no part in the experience.

(Imagine trying to write a transcript of this?)

I really can’t grasp how, in a civilized society, some people come to act like this. They just go about their daily lives in this matter, thinking nothing of how they comport themselves, believing this kind of interaction with other people is natural.

Having said that…

I’ve gained some valuable insight from this little cinematic spectacle on how to effectively approach a verbal disagreement when in a big city:

• ALWAYS SHOUT!  The louder you shout, the more substantive your argument will seem.
• While shouting, repetition of words or phrases is key to bolstering your position – Your Position - YOUR POSITION!   (See!)
• Tired?  Stoned?  Ignorant?  Then always have a like-minded sidekick.  The tag-team strategy provides a multitude of benefits when engaged in mature, heated debate.
• If you are black, learn Ebonics.  If you are white, learn Ebonics.  If you are neither: RUN!
• When possible, bring yo’ children with you.  They can provide unassailable justification for your actions.  After all, you’re just protecting them from deleterious influences.
• When you are with yo’ children, lead by example.  It’s never too early to prepare them for future confrontations.  For instance:  The children in this video start shouting “THAT’S WHY YOU GAY!” at the security guard.  (Not sure why they chose to brand him as “gay.”  I could maybe understand them yelling ”Poopie-head,” but “gay?”)  This is a wonderful paradigm of the second bullet-point.
• And for the married women watching this video, take note:  Only after the ‘mother’ sprang right back up from having been Tased did her husband feebly attempt to intervene.  This indirect emasculation of the husband is an added benefit.

As per the Taser:  Even though she received enough voltage to light up Vegas, she handled it like a true pro.  She got hit, tipped over like a felled tree, and was up and at it within seconds.  No doubt this amazing recovery was the result of years of practice.

All in all, I’d say this is probably a fairly accurate representation of real life in most cities.

It might be a nice place to visit, but it sure isn’t where I’d want to live.

Or die.

Shortlink:

Posted by Shawn Mallow on February 1, 2013.
Filed under Asshats, Don't Tase Me, Bro!, Dumbasses, WTF?.
Tagged with: Atlanta • taser.


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