Obama RIPs the American Family

As the nation continues to struggle economically and many American families are struggling to feed themselves in this jobless environment, Barack Obama is urging Congress to new and energetic intervention with a new law he is proposing that is intended to fix the failing American nuclear family unit.

Senate Democrat leader Harry Reid has signed onto Obama’s new idea and is now pushing the Reinvesting Individual People Act, or the RIP Act, through the Senate. Every Democrat has pledged to vote yes on the bill while the obstructionist Republicans–except for John McCain–are saying they will oppose the bill.

In a press conference from the White House, President Obama announced the new idea that he says will make families fair. Because some families are big and others small, Obama says, it is not fair as the small families are getting off too cheap in this tough economy.

“Smaller families have a smaller economic and environmental footprint,” Obama said on Friday evening. “Therefore, we intend to offer a helping hand to Americans with the Reinvesting Individual People Act.”

This new law will mandate that all families be of equal size. Every family will be made of three people and never any more than that.

This caring President does realize that not everyone will be able to find a family who will take them in, though. He also has a unique and cost effective way to solve that problem.

Any left over people who no one will take into a family unit will be remanded to Obama Furnished Units (or OFU’s) to be built in Detroit after the rest of the crumbling city is razed to the ground.

This is being billed as a jobs program as thousands of new guards and community service personnel will be required to implement this new compassionate and fair law.

President of the AFL-CIO noted that the RIP Act will bring thousands of Americans firmly into the middle class in Detroit as new construction and retention guards are hired and unionized.

Republicans point out that the new law contains carve outs for unions and exempts the families of union members, federal employees, Illegal immigrants and Congress.

Democrat Party Chairperson Debbie Wasserman Schultz said on MSNBC that anyone who opposed this bill is only doing so because of the racism inherent in white society.

When asked how this fits into the Constitution, the President said, “The consti-tutie-whattus, again?”

Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners
Liberals are So Un-American, They Don't Even Like Cookies
  • Brucehenry

    More proof that conservatives don’t quite “get” what satire is and what makes it funny.

    • warnertoddhuston

      Actually, your “comment’ is more like proof that extremist left-wingers really have no sense of humor.

    • Sky__Captain

      I don’t understand.
      You are the first post in this thread. Why do you think no conservative gets satire?
      Are you claiming Warner Todd Huston did not think this was satire, an painting all conservatives with your broad brush?

      Got any proof, L’il Brucie?

  • 914

    Ha ha ha ha ha

    Would not be surprised at all.

    • http://www.traveLightgame.com/ ljcarolyne

      Sounds just like Obama’s insane thinking, but let’s not give him any ideas, please!

  • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ Proof

    Redistributing children! What a great idea! I had five. Two would have been a lot cheaper, and someone else could have paid “their fair share”!

    • jim_m

      Shouldn’t we just be eating the surplus children?

      • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ Proof

        That was Swift’s “Modest Proposal”.

        • jim_m

          It has merit.

          • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ Proof

            I would make a humorous remark here about how they might taste based on their grazing habits (Tofu, granola, sprouts…), but some humorless lib would be quoting me out of context for years!

          • jim_m

            I would say that we could eat the children of the leftists but we know that they abort nearly all of them.

    • LiberalNightmare

      I’ve got two they can have today. Hell, I’ll even pay postage.

      • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ Proof

        Crating them up is what really costs ya!

  • Sky__Captain

    Nice satire.

    Good satire, like good humor, needs to have a bit of basis in reality to be effective.

  • Michael Lang

    This is so dumb. It is not going to happen anyway. The dim Dims in the Senate might pass it, but it dead in the House.

  • Michael Lang

    My bad. Funny. But it would not be at all surprising that dim Dims would propose such nonsense.

  • GarandFan

    “Every family will be made of three people and never any more than that.”

    So King Barack has FINALLY found a way to dump his mother-in-law. Even if he has to throw one of his own kids under the bus to do it.

    Oh, wait! I’m sure King Barack the Magnificent will “evolve” on the issue, and just mandate that each family unit will consist of FOUR people.

    King Barack can be real ‘flexible’ when it comes to “the law of the land”.

    • http://www.traveLightgame.com/ ljcarolyne

      Those two girls are not really his anyway. How is that for an answer, huh?
      Bambi isn’t the law of the land either!

  • GarandFan

    “Every family will be made of three people and never any more than that.”

    So King Barack has FINALLY found a way to dump his mother-in-law. Even if he has to throw one of his own kids under the bus to do it.

    Oh, wait! I’m sure King Barack the Magnificent will “evolve” on the issue, and just mandate that each family unit will consist of FOUR people.

    King Barack can be real ‘flexible’ when it comes to “the law of the land”.

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