Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Actor Charlie Sheen waits on the set of the Today Show before formally announcing that he is H.I.V. positive in an interview with Matt Lauer on November 17, 2015 in New York City. Sheen says he learned of his diagnosis four years ago and was announcing it publically to put an end to rumors and extortion.  (Andrew Burton/Getty Images)

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

"I can not tell you how frustrating it is to see the misinformation and outright lies that are being perpetuated about the refugee process and the Syrian refugees."
No, We Don't Have To, and Should Not.
  • RestlessLegs

    Hi. I’m Charlie Sheen. You can’t get AIDS from sharing a couch.

  • FormerlyAnonymous

    “I guess reaching Wilt Chamberlain’s number is out of the question now.”

  • …and now for our next contestant on Beat The Reaper

  • FormerlyAnonymous

    Looks like it’s going to be a lonely holiday season for Charlie.

  • FormerlyAnonymous

    And with that it goes from “talk to my little friend” to “talk to my attorney.”

  • Vagabond661

    Today on Today, Brian Williams revealed he had sex with Charlie Sheen.

  • cathymv

    Charlie Sheen getting ready to be interviewed about receiving the “Douche of the Decade” award and how he beat out Obama.

  • “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.
    Well, that and AZT!”

  • Tanuki Man

    #Thinning!

  • fustian24

    Maybe we could sign him up for an ISIS dating site?

  • fustian24

    I’m afraid you’re just not Chicken of the Sea material.

    Sorry, Charlie.

  • fustian24

    Hillary should hit that.

    She goes for complete douches.

  • Retired military

    #nomoresex4u

  • Retired military

    We’re gonna need a bigger couch

  • yetanotherjohn

    I’m positive I don’t want to have sex with Charlie Sheen.

    • LiberalNightmare

      heh – He’s positive too

  • yetanotherjohn

    One is the loneliest number.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Charlie sits with his support group.

  • Sitting with all his future sex partners…

  • Bill_M

    That Karma’s an HIV Positive bitch!

  • LiberalNightmare

    Winning.

  • LiberalNightmare

    The worst thing about AIDs is trying to convince your mother that you caught it from an african mosquito.

  • retired military

    Sheen stated he refused to have sex with Obama because he was afraid of catching something.

  • cathymv

    Charlie Sheen: Lamar Odom went into a coma after a weekend of drinking, drugs and hookers….. rookie!!

  • fustian24

    The safe distance is believed to be about 100 feet as long as you are upwind and no mosquitos are present.

  • fustian24

    Charley isn’t just bisexual, he’s omnisexual!

  • fustian24

    Hey, at least he’s not Bill Cosby…

  • fustian24

    Apparently, you get Tiger Blood from having unprotected sex with dudes!

  • fustian24

    The other actors welcome Charley back on set.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Personally, I believe him when he says he caught it from kissing a toilet seat.

  • yetanotherjohn

    You say couch pot-ah-to, I say couch pot-ay-to

  • After the Today show interviews Sheen, it will interview all of the women who have slept with him. It will be a marathon longer than the one started by Jerry Lewis.

  • retired military

    A liberal on a couch. The only thing missing is a shrink.

  • retired military

    Up next on Today. The new ambassador to ISIL and Obama’s ambitious new plan to defeat them.

  • retired military

    Sheen “Of course I believe in charity. I give aid to whoever I can.”

  • Brian Brandt

    Chuck Lorre Vanity Card –

    So after all these cards, I ask myself, “Self,” I ask, “Why do I really care about Charlie Sheen’s many problems?” And then I answer myself, “Well, I don’t really, except that he did keep this rather crude sitcom going for a couple years, in spite of all the drama, the caps to cover up the rotten meth teeth, the wasted time when he didn’t show up on the set.”

    And then I remember how he went on about being a warlock, and having tiger’s blood, and the ‘winning’ thing, and then I just say “Screw it.”

  • yetanotherjohn

    Kinda takes the shine off Sheen.