Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

wcc12112015

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners December 11, 2015
Tripoli Response: DoD had forces available to respond
  • Joe_Miller

    I can’t caption this photo until I know how he self-identifies.

  • Some days you eat the beard, and some days the beard eats you.

  • guido81_MA

    The poor kiddies couldn’t get past the throng of cougars jostling to sit on Santa’s lap.

  • Vagabond661

    At my age, how I read my email.

  • RestlessLegs

    My grandma says she wants to see THIS under her tree.

  • Porkopolis

    Bad-ass Santa

  • yetanotherjohn

    How could someone so cool not be able to deliver all those presents on Christmas Eve?

  • yetanotherjohn

    God isn’t dead Nietzsche and He’s looking good.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Please don’t ask to see his bag.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Eat your heart out Rudolph.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Excuse me, usually a picture with Santa involves more than one person.

  • yetanotherjohn

    You’re so vain. You probably think this season is about you.
    You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this season is about you
    Don’t you? don’t you?

  • yetanotherjohn

    This modern remake of “Miracle on 34th street” just doesn’t work for me.

    • fustian24

      Some people are predicting low box office for “The Miracle in the Castro” in which a little boy just wants a nice upstairs apartment in the city for him and his two fathers.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Candy little girl?

  • yetanotherjohn

    No matter how much he looks at himself on camera, he can’t get enough of himself.

  • RestlessLegs

    Santa channels Obama.

  • yetanotherjohn

    But baby it’s cold outside.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Santa Claus is bringing it.

  • fustian24

    He’s Christian, he’s white, his elves are not union, he pays no taxes, and democrats usually aren’t nice enough to get presents.

    Obama finally sees an illegal alien he’s willing to deport.

  • “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it! People like me!”

  • yetanotherjohn

    I hear he stuffs his stocking if you know what I mean.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Santa always figured that what Mrs. Claus didn’t know won’t hurt her.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Eat your heart out Rudolph, Santa’s got a new PR firm.

  • Jeffrey Ostermiller

    Be Naughty! … Save Santa a Trip!

  • Scorpion

    Hmm. That’s interesting. Two in the same stall.

  • Rick Adams

    Swipe left.

  • Rick Adams

    Paleo Santa.

  • Dumbledore goes metrosexual.

  • Try as he might, Gandalf never quite mastered the “selfie”.

  • After 1700 years of delivering toys from rooftops, Santa decided “How hard could it be to be Daredevil?”

  • yetanotherjohn

    So Obama approached Santa with this global warming, the north pole is melting, crony capitalism deal and …

  • Joe_Miller

    How did this negative of Dick Gregory get on the internet?

  • retired military

    When Santa was asked what he thought about Hillary he said that she played for the wrong team.

  • Rick Adams

    He’s wearing this shirt, by the way.

    • fustian24

      Very Christmasy!

  • yetanotherjohn

    I’m just not buying this re-make of the ten commandments.

  • 914

    Almost as self absorbed as Obumma.

  • Paul Hooson

    This Santa loves the naughty girls…

  • Paul Hooson

    This Santa is so kinky that he gave the last naughty girl a candy caning….and she loved it!

  • Paul Hooson

    “Come lay across Santa’s lap, naughty girl…”

  • Paul Hooson

    Part of the new “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, Store Santa Policy…

  • Paul Hooson

    Who knew the old Santa story also involved an old queen?

  • Paul Hooson

    Sadly, he lost his Santa job when he was recognized as a major star in gay porn by a store staffer. Don’t ask me how the store staffer knew that?

  • yetanotherjohn

    No matter how many times he read the contract, he kept getting stuck on the sanity clause. Everyone knows there is no sanity clause.

  • Jeffrey Ostermiller

    There once was an old man named Kringle,
    His manly gifts made all the girls tingle.
    So he gave them an iPhone
    Made sure that they’d call home,
    Which is why to this day he’s still single.

    • Obviously a man that only comes once a year will put the girls needs first.

  • fustian24

    St. Nicolas, the inspiration for Santa Claus, was the patron saint of repentant thieves and reformed prostitutes.

    Except for the “reformed” part, it sounds a lot like Paul Hooson.


  • Red suit, Elf boots
    Reindeer know where I am goin’ to.
    Silk scarf, black tie,
    I just know the season’s why.

    They come runnin’ just as fast as they can
    ‘Cause all the world’s crazy ’bout the white beard man.

    Gold watch, diamond ring,
    I am giftin’ every single thing
    And cuff links, stick pin,
    When you’re good you just know you’re in.

    They come runnin’ just as fast as they can
    ‘Cause all the world’s crazy ’bout the white beard man.

    Shopped for coats, Shopped for hats,
    I don’t worry ’cause my credit’s fat.
    Black sled, white gloves,
    Checkin’ list twice and passing out the love.

    They come runnin’ just as fast as they can
    ‘Cause all the world’s crazy ’bout the white beard man.

  • Jeffrey Ostermiller

    Watch out ladies! Here’s a Santa that’s about to jingle your bells!