Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners January 22, 2016

This week’s Weekend Caption Contest™ was beyond popular. I can tell what everyone was doing during the blizzard-posting captions. Given that we had almost double the usual number of captions, I’m selecting two captions for each place. The assignment this week was to caption the following picture:

Here are the winning entries:

1) (fustian24) – “Bernie has about as much chance to beat Hillary as I have to wake up and see five planets line up.

(Bird666) – ““I bought into this old man’s socialist utopian bullshit and all I got was this weird-ass T-shirt”

2) (yetanotherjohn) – “Don’t wait for your parents to die to inherit. Vote for Bernie and take the money now.

(EricSteel) – “At least the picture doesn’t show the guy wearing the Bernie Sanders Thong.

3) (Mike) – “The DNC also put out a Hillary shirt, which had the unfortunate side effect of turning the volunteers to stone.

(Paul Hooson) – “Tin foil top hats will be popular at the inaugural…

4) (Par4Course) – “Bernie – the only candidate older and crazier than Hillary.

(rodney dill) – “YOU…. SHALL… NOT… PASS… that kidney stone

5) (Vagabond661) – “The Millennials’ plan on getting ahead.

(Rick Adams) – “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on in this photo, but I’m pretty sure it was followed by an old man yelling at clouds.

6) (Jeffrey Ostermiller) – “The left’s answer to my “Stand and Fight” NRA t-shirt.

(RestlessLegs) – “Will find a way to vote this many times for Sanders.

The Readers Choice Award this week goes to:

(guido81_MA) – “The worst part about the Capitalist Re-education camps is the uniform.

And the most detailed funny caption goes to:

(cathymv) – “For sale: Bernie Sanders Fun Fan Blow up Supporter – $129.00. Solar powered! Will quote Bernie propaganda, BLM statistics and Mein Kampf, will promise everything and deliver nothing. Will sit around your house, eat your food, wreck your car, criticise your lifestyle, demand money, play on your computer, use up all IPhone data, run around the neighborhood screaming “Die pigs die” at the local police and tell you that socialism and communism is the best political agenda in the world. It will not shower and will not use deodorant. You can bring it to the polls and use it to vote multiple times.

Limited supplies available, order now at 1800-useful-idiot

That’s all for this weekend. A new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.

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  • yetanotherjohn

    Alright, now that we have that winner stuff sorted out, is he male or is she female? And when will Paul post the Bernie Sanders thong on Wizbang Pop?

    • Paul Hooson

      If I can find it, I will post it. All the nudes that are fit to print seems to be the Wizbang Pop slogan…

    • fustian24

      Democrats don’t have sexes.

      Everyone knows that.

      • Paul Hooson

        …Either that, or they have sex with everyone. It’s one or the other…

      • Jeffrey Ostermiller

        Unless you’re Bill Clinton! Well actually, he didn’t have sex … or so he says.

  • jim_m

    Yeoman’s work there Sarah. Well done.

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  • Paul Hooson

    Thank you, Sarah and fellow readers. I think Sarah deserves a real debt of gratitude this week because reading through 180+ funny entries was like a homework assignment, only a little more fun. Sanders was so inspirational to us all this week. I alone had three shticks I joked about, including his age, his being very Jewish as well as very leftist, and managed a few upward votes in all three shtick categories I hit on…It was a lot of fun this week! (I think if there was a few more Jews around here, some of my Jewish jokes would have had a little more traction, but the age and leftist jokes had a more universal appeal, which is understandable…).

    • cathymv

      Thank you!! This was a fun caption this week.

  • Thanks Sarah…

    I liked my Trogdor the Burninator reference, but its probably too old and obscure to get much attention.

  • fustian24

    I’m pleased to share the victory with Bird666, and I’d like thank Rodney for taking the week off to reminisce about obscure and disturbing old cartoons.

    • …and I didn’t even crack open the Weebl and Bob portfolio.

      • fustian24

        No. I say go for it.

        I’m sure it’s a rich vein of comedy gold you can mine for weeks.

        And I’ll look forward to all the amused bafflement!

        • They won’t be my only entries… I do tend to use a shotgun approach

          • fustian24

            No, no, no.

            You should specialize.

            Consistency is the key to Caption Contest success.

          • “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

            ― George W. Bush

  • Rick Adams

    The kidney stone really got me. 🙂

    • fustian24

      But I can’t believe that cloud one got picked…errr…oops…ahh…sorry…ahh…where’s the edit button on this thing!?

      • The cloud one made me see the “Serenity Now” episode of Seinfeld in my head.

  • cathymv

    And the most detailed funny caption goes to: – Oh wow!! Thank you so much for this !!! You did a great job picking out so many funny captions this week… there were a lot of them!! All you all did a great job!!

    • Paul Hooson

      The description of the ungrateful, freeloading, leftist anticapitalist kid in this funny caption sure reminds me of so many of the protesting “Occupy Movement” kids we see around Portland that I abhor. You described these nuts in a nutshell my friend. Bravo!

      • cathymv

        We had the same bunch of leeches here in NY – disgusting bunch of useful idiots, wanting everything for nothing. They need to take a bath and get a job!!!

  • Sarah: Thanks for including my wise crack. My only request is that the runners up don’t get that shirt as a prize!

    • Jeffrey Ostermiller

      Absolutely. No one in their ‘right’ mind would be caught dead in one!

  • sarahconnor2

    Good Lord. Now there are 22 comments in this section.
    There’s something about Bernie…