Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners June 3, 2016

This week’s Weekend Caption Contest™ went over 200 captions-so we have double winners for each place. Make sure you read through all the entries-it was a stellar week! The assignment this week was to caption the following picture:

Here are the winning entries:

1) (Group efffort: Bird666 starts it off) – ““🎶Let me tell you a story bout a man named Bill
Sexually depraved, he could never get his fill
Then one day he was scratching at his itch
And up from the ground came a dominating bitch!
Hillary, that is
Lying crone

Retired military joins in: Well the next thing you know Old Bill is getting out of there
The energizer said Bill you ought to come here
Said my honeyhole is the place you ought to be
So he loaded up the Viagra and the herpes cream

Now Brian Brandt picks up our tune: Well now its time to say good-bye to Bill and all his kin.
And they would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
You’re all invited back again to this locality
To have a heaping helping of their hospitality
Hill/Bill that is. Set a spell. Take your shoes off. Donate.

And Retired military winds it up: Or else.

(fustian24) – ““I did not have sex with that woman…!”

2) (Rick Adams) – ““Say ‘Feel the Bern’ one more time, mother****er, I dare you.”

(rodney dill) – “Tom Brady isn’t the only expert on deflating balls.

3) (Joe_Miller) – ““I bet I could nail that girl over there in the tight sweater and the short skirt.”

“Me, too,” said Bill.

(cathymv) – “Bill: Hillary! Wanna hear a joke? What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

4) (yetanotherjohn) – “Here darling, put my beer between your legs and keep it cold.

(David Robertson) – “Sure, Hillary is wearing stripes, but they aren’t the stripes that she should be wearing.

5) (redsquare22) – “HC: “What kind of a ball game is this?” BC: “I don’t know, but there’s a peanut seller here who wants to be your VP.”

(Scorpion) – “Elton John and the former President were not too happy when they realized that Paula Jones was passing out copies of her new book during an injury timeout at the soccer game.

6) (Mary Gehman) – “In the news…The Clintons decided spontaneously to renew their wedding vows at a recent fund-raising event…this photo, taken post-ceremony, captures the magic…

(Mike) – “Hillary: “Just wait for the inauguration and then it’s Ft. Marcy park for you, Bill!”

The Readers Choice Award this week goes to Paul Hooson:


And two more great ones:

(EricSteel) – “The stripes and orange pantsuits are signs of a guilty conscience.

(guido81_MA) – “If she wins, I’m back in the White House.
If she loses, I can finally dump her fat ass.
Talk about your “win-WIN” situations.

That’s all for this weekend. A new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Is Not Dead
On Civic Duty
  • Paul Hooson

    Wow! Thank you so much, you all have been so kind to this old Jew here. – I came in at number #1 over at the OUTSIDE THE BELTWAY contest, then this honor here! – Right away I thought about the film WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S, but the second thought is how Bernie Sanders is pulling a strong antiClinton protest vote, poking holes in her candidacy among voters who really really don’t care for her. The result was this funny political hybrid of the two ideas that seemed to catch some traction here among the voters. Thank you so much for this rarer win to all my friends here! I so deeply appreciate this!

    • yetanotherjohn

      Paul, we knew you had it in you … or in her.

      • Paul Hooson

        What an inspiration Hillary is, for all the wrong reasons…

  • Thanks! but Bill really should watch his back!

  • fustian24

    This is the first time I’ve shared the lead with something like 100 people!

    I console myself with the fact that a Rodney pun is not among them…

    But I do notice a disturbing trend towards rewritten lyrics.

    • sarahconnor2

      Would you prefer house fire jokes?

      • fustian24

        “Let me tell you ’bout the house fire of a man named Jed…”

        Good God no!

      • Paul Hooson

        I tried to start a new thing with waiting room jokes, but it sadly had even less appeal than my classic housefire joke routines…

        • sarahconnor2

          You know we all secretly love seeing them appear!

  • Thanks Sarah.

  • cathymv

    Congrats to the first place winners!!! YOu all totally deserve it!! And I am back on the winners board! Yea me!!! Thank you Sarah!!! Once again, the clintons are the gift that keeps on giving!!!

  • Rick Adams

    I hadn’t seen yetanotherjohn’s entry… it made me burst out laughing!

    • fustian24

      Me too…

      • yetanotherjohn

        Unfortunately, my schedule is keeping me away from early Friday posting. The result is that most people have made their entries, read others entries and voted before I even show up.
        Its an old joke used to suggest to a girl she’s being a bit frigid.

  • Brian Brandt

    Thanks, Bird666 for starting the Ballad of Hill and Bill.

  • Retired military

    Thanks all. A lot of great entries this week.

  • Joe_Miller

    Thanks Sarah. You go deep.

  • Scorpion

    Thanks guys. The jokes just about wrote themselves.

    • Paul Hooson

      The same thing goes for housefire jokes….some things just fan the flames…