Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners October 7, 2016

This week’s Weekend Caption Contest™ featured a flat, cardboard caricature of a candidate. Actually, it was just a life size cutout of her. We had over 200 captions so we have double winners this week. The assignment this week was to caption the following picture:

wcc10072016
Here are the winning entries:

1) (jim-m) – “You can tell it’s a fake because there is no paramedic standing by.

(Retired military) – “Now we know how she plans to stay standing for the next 2 debates.

2) (Joe_Miller) – “Everybody smile. Say “Benghazi!”

(Brian Brandt) – “Hillary’s favorite pizza?

“Little seizures.”

3) (RestlessLegs) – “Then someone pressed the “talk” button, and the crowd rapidly dispersed.

(Scorpion) – “The scary clown costume makers are worried this Halloween.

4) (Mary Gehman) – “…the crowd decided on a ‘hag burning’ in lieu of a ‘flag burning’..

(Rick Adams) – “It’s crooked.

5) (fustian24) – “Perfect for a rousing game of Pin the Crime on the Donkey.

(yetanotherjohn) – “Sigh … can we go back to looking at the barmaid’s cleavage?

6) (Mike) – “Cardboard Hillary: A smaller carbon footprint than the real one!

(cathymv) – “Looks like the cardboard Hillary had a cankle lift

The Readers Choice Award this week goes to:

(guido81_MA) – “It was only a cardboard cutout, but nobody noticed the difference.

Most Inappropriate But Funny:

(rodney dill) – “The only decision remaining was where to place the glory hole.

(Mike) – “Cardboard Hillary: Vulnerable to beavers!

That’s all for this weekend. A new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.

Trump Takes Round Two
Election 2016 Becomes Scorched Earth Campaign
  • Paul Hooson

    Wow! Rodney just broke new ground here with the first ever “glory hole” joke. I will always remember where I was when the Kennedy assassination took place, Neil Armstrong walked on Earth’s Moon, and now this landmark moment in Wizbang Caption joke history. (For a joke, I was going to say when Neil Young walked on the Moon, but backed off from making any humor in this most sacred of moments in Wizbang Caption history here).

    • Paul, if you can’t find a housefire, camp out by a Tesla!

      • fustian24

        Or buy a Galaxy Note 7.

        • Even the replacements!

          • fustian24

            Samsung is Korean for “American sucker”.

            They apparently sourced the battery from ISIS.

          • Wasn’t Samsung Gamgee one of the Hobbits?

          • yetanotherjohn

            Yep. He was the one who accompanied the Frozen Play-Doh hobbit, Fro-Do

          • As opposed to his sister, the long distance runner, Flo-Do.

    • fustian24

      And that’s what we’ve really needed for a long time.

      More glory hole humor.

      Thank God we’ve finally achieved it!

      I can only shudder at what’s next. I blame you deplorable inappropriate people…

      • Mary Gehman

        Okay…I’ll bite…forgive my obvious ignorance, but what’s a ‘glory hole’? I have a few guesses as to it’s likely unintended meaning, but what is it actually?

        • yetanotherjohn

          Imagine a wall with an appropriately sized hole and a male appendage inserted through said appropriately sized hole and then imagine a sexual act performed by two people on opposite sides of that wall, wherein after receiving said sexual act Bill Clinton would say with a straight face “I did not have sex with that woman/man”.

          • fustian24

            They don’t call him “yetanotherjohn” for nothing!

          • yetanotherjohn

            My knowledge of such environments is purely theoretical.

            p.s. I thought you would be impressed that I, Mr. Inappropriate, was so discrete.

          • fustian24

            First…

            Though dost protest too much.

            Second…

            Discrete? I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

          • yetanotherjohn

            Okay, you explain less explicitly to our little Mary what a glory hole is.

          • fustian24

            You used the word “discrete”.

            THAT word means: taking on or having a finite or countably infinite number of values as in: “discrete probabilities” or “a discrete random variable”.

            I think you meant to use the more conventional: discreet.

          • yetanotherjohn

            You got me. However in my own defense I will say that my mind has never been so limited as to imagine only one way to spell or pronounce a word.

          • fustian24

            Sorry.

            Couldn’t help myself.

            You know you wouldn’t have respected me if I’d just let that go.

          • yetanotherjohn

            It’s a fair cop.

            p.s. Now are you going to enlighten Little Mary discreetly?

          • Mary Gehman

            Thanks for the visual…it’s a picture I don’t need in my head, but now have anyway. I asked…you answered…my bad! 🙂

          • yetanotherjohn

            We try to shelter you, but you insist on getting off the porch and playing with the rest of us in traffic.

          • Mary Gehman

            What can I say? I am my own worst enemy…that’s how I keep my ‘enemies closer’. But, it’s sweet that you try and ‘shelter’ me! Just don’t be disappointed when you can’t save me from myself!

          • yetanotherjohn

            Given that I can’t save myself, why would I worry that I can’t save someone else?

        • Retired military

          Mary
          For future things such as this may i suggest you google the term

          Glory hole (or other words) urban dictionary

          It will tell you anything you ever didnt want to know about everything

          • yetanotherjohn

            Oh, where’s the fun in that.

          • Mary Gehman

            Silly me! I googled, but not the ‘urban dictionary’, and the definition I got was a furnace used to keep glass molten. Thanks for the ‘urban dictionary’ tip!

    • Set a house on fire and you’ll be warm for a night, set yourself on fire and you’ll be warm for the rest of your life.

    • Mary Gehman

      Try a little menopause…you’ll never be chilly again!

      • yetanotherjohn

        Based on my wife’s experience, you will never be in a place where the temperature is comfortable. It will always be to hot or to cold.

        • Mary Gehman

          She’s right…I only have about a 3 degree tolerance before I’m too hot or too cold. But, mostly, too hot. My husband thanks me for heating the entire third floor of our house by me just being there. It’s just my way of saving him money! 🙂

          • yetanotherjohn

            I suspect that any money saved by “body heat” is lost to a higher air conditioning bill.

          • Mary Gehman

            I never said it was a perfect budget strategy. I save him money for half the year, and that’s going to have to be enough. Considering my footwear addiction, I really don’t save him any money at all.

  • I am doubly honored this week. I would say I won’t let it go to my head, but…too late!
    Congratulations to all the winners! Even those whose jokes were a little flat…

    • yetanotherjohn

      I just knew you were going to score the prestigious “Most Inappropriate Award”. Congratulations.

      • What can I say? It’s a gift! Heh.

  • Thanks Sarah

    • Brian Brandt

      Yeah, it’s quite a task going thru all these captions. Thanks.

    • yetanotherjohn

      Rodney, I missed your entry and glad to see it win the prestigious “Most Inappropriate Award”. Very, very funny.
      I think this puts you in second place for the most “Most Inappropriate”.
      You did however confuse Mary with your terminology.

      • fustian24

        I had to look it up myself.

        Ewwwww. That’s just nasty!

        • yetanotherjohn

          Leaves a bad taste in your mouth?

          • fustian24

            Now THAT was inappropriate mister…

          • yetanotherjohn

            Go on, spit it out. Tell us what you really think.

      • Good thing I didn’t resort to sibian humor then

        • fustian24

          So, I had to look this one up.

          I couldn’t find any “sibian”, but I did find what I assume you’re talking about here:
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sybian

          Naughty boy.

          • yetanotherjohn

            Didn’t Gaius Marius defeat the Sibians in 99 B.C. with 6 Roman legions?

  • Mary Gehman

    Thanks for the honor yet again to be among the winners in the caption contest. It’s both a pleasure and a privilege to be noticed among so many funny, creative ‘captioneers’! I’m just curious…is there such a thing as a ‘Wiz Bang Convention’? It might be fun to actually meet some of the people I banter with and compete against…put faces to the names. Or, maybe that would be a bad thing. Maybe the magic is in the anonymous-ness…

    • fustian24

      I myself am so astonishingly attractive that I generally cannot go out in public without bodyguards.

      I prefer to think that all of you are equally as attractive, but if Paul Hooson is anything to go by, well… (grin)

      • Mary Gehman

        I make him look goooooood! But once I have my morning coffee, a shower, good lighting and a little spackle, the situation somewhat improves; then all bets are off! (grin!)

      • yetanotherjohn

        I just knew you were in prison.

        • fustian24

          Remarkable beauty IS a prison.

          • yetanotherjohn

            So what are you in for? Fraud?

    • yetanotherjohn

      What has been seen can not be unseen, be careful what you wish for,

      p.s. Congrats.

      • Mary Gehman

        Considering the very detailed description I got from fustian24 as to the definition of ‘glory hole’, you are correct….the picture I now have in my head cannot be unseen indeed…

        PS – Congrats to you, as well!

        • fustian24

          Excuse me.

          But.

          From whom did you get that description again?

          • yetanotherjohn

            How Most Inappropriate of you Mr. Fustian to distress our little Mary so.

          • fustian24

            Says Mr. Glory Hole.

          • Mary Gehman

            I’m sorry! My bad again! I asked you, but someone else answered and I got confused. At least I didn’t call you Mr. or capitalize the F. That’s gotta score me some points towards forgiveness.

          • fustian24

            I’m not on your case.

            I’m just saving you from the remorse you would have felt later when you realized you had tarred me unfairly by mistaking me for Mr. Glory Hole.

          • Mary Gehman

            It’s true…I suffer from catholic Italian guilt. Thanks for being concerned about the well-being of my soul.

            PS – I am partial to the ‘feather’ part of ‘tarred and feathered’ in case that matters. Just an FYI.

  • Scorpion

    Thanks again this week. The next cutout should have a fly on it, maybe on her flies.

    • yetanotherjohn

      Congratulations on making the podium.

    • fustian24

      That fly knew what it was doing.

  • yetanotherjohn

    This was one of those weeks that I wasn’t firing on all cylinders and just glad to get any award love.

  • Retired military

    THanks all.

  • jim_m

    My goodness! Thank you for the entirely undeserved honor.

    • fustian24

      Boy, I’ll say…

      Err…I mean, congratulations.

      (you DID crack me up with that one. cut it out!)