Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

America’s Energy Future
President Trump's Joint Session Speech
  • Paul Hooson

    Hey, a girl just isn’t that into you when she’d rather text in your company…

  • Paul Hooson

    Soul what?

  • Paul Hooson

    She’s texting a late Paul Hooson to remind him that he has an appointment to tell housefire jokes…

  • Paul Hooson

    Not pictured, Paul Hooson. He told the joke that. “A Black family has a houefire. The first thing they rescue is the TV set”, and was promptly asked to leave…

  • Paul Hooson

    The “Joint Session Speech” went better than expected. Next order of business, the “Jeff Sessions Speech”…

  • Paul Hooson

    She’s ordering some rare bootleg albums on Ebay. Jimi Hendrix Studio Outtake Sessions. The Beatles Get Back Sessions. The Jeff Sessions…

  • Paul Hooson

    “I’m here for my racial profile, Mr.Demille…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    “I know Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey is a friend of mine. Mutha fucka, you’re no Steve Harvey…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    Like Oprah, except there’s only prizes under the seats for White billionaires…

  • Paul Hooson

    “And, I just want to say what a fan I’ve been of all the great classic Black actors…Sidney Poitier, Morgan Freeman, Amos & Andy…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    Keeping the Black man down…in congress…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    Um, not just the smallest hands in the room, but now,dick too…

  • Paul Hooson

    “I’m a huge Lawrence Fishbone fan!”.

  • Paul Hooson

    A meeting with all of his tenants?

  • Paul Hooson

    The Creature In The Black Lagoon?

  • yetanotherjohn

    50 shades of black

  • Paul Hooson

    The compliments for his subdued joint session of congress speech just keep coming in. This congressional delegation thanked the president for not rattling his cage bars or throwing feces during his speech…

  • yetanotherjohn

    Excuse me, I’m from Havana, I’m from Havana.

  • Paul Hooson

    Conway Twitter…

  • Paul Hooson

    Paul Hooson arrives and starts his shtick. “How come you got no shoes, no feet? The other day, I see man crawl up the street, he got no shoes, no feet…A priest, a minister and a rabbi, they got no shoes, no feet..A man has a housefire, He didn’t get out, he had no shoes, no feet..A shoe store goes out of business. Customers had no shoes, no feet..People had to helplessly hear my jokes. They couldn’t walk away. No shoes, no feet…A Japanese man doesn’t have to take off his shoes in his home. No shoes, no feet..A company that makes landmines closes their doors. The owners had no shoes, no feet..How come you got no shoes, no feet?…How come you got no shoes, no feet?…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    Athlete’s foot without the athlete?… How come you got no shoes, no feet?

  • Paul Hooson

    “Hey, Conway Twitter. How come you got no shoes, no feet?”.

  • Kellyanne Conway was the life of the party with her Lieutenant Dan impersonation. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/40e1c30d1ba6af4bd371122c13558fc4d013ef9d4f7f5f3df29c77286f87b206.jpg

    • Paul Hooson

      How come he has no shoes, no feet?

      • Sinese has starred in so many police procedurals, he thought that crime was afoot!

    • Paul Hooson

      I’m stumped?

  • Paul Hooson

    A Russian visits the White House. He had a big furry hat, But, he had no shoes, no feet…

  • Paul Hooson

    Tells everyone, “I’m the least racist person ever”. Then checks to see if he still has wallet after everyone leaves…

  • Paul Hooson

    “Well, recuse me…”.

  • After that many lap dances you wouldn’t be able to sit down right either.

  • Rock ThisTown

    KellyAnne thought bubble: “Playboy starting up nude pics again. Hmm, if this gig doesn’t work out, I wonder how much they’d pay me for a spread . . . .”

  • yetanotherjohn

    KellyAnne made $20.10 giving lap dances.
    Who gave her 10 cents?
    Everybody.

    • Paul Hooson

      You can always tell a Jewish stripper and her Jewish customers. She dances with a coin changer around her waist to give change…

  • yetanotherjohn

    He was born a rich black child

  • yetanotherjohn

    Trump kneeds Conway

  • Paul Hooson

    “Lord, we bring you a woman from the village who has a Twitter and no shoes, no feet thing going on…”.

    “Oh,Jesus…”.https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7f66d6dda9782ebac083492520baf0a534b674ea6ec27b72774f64a5dff65468.jpg

  • yetanotherjohn

    Democrats: Get a rope

  • TheyTukRJobz

    Oral Office II – The CBBC* Cums Visiting

    *[Congressional Big Black C**k-us]

    [this is so bad, I’m going to punish myself]

    [I should be banned for this one…]

  • TheyTukRJobz

    Mr. President, isn’t her dress supposed to be blue?
    No, we’re Republicans. Cigar, anybody?

  • yetanotherjohn

    At least they let ‘stumpy’ sit down

  • Jack Rudd

    Egad, Trump’s tie isn’t centered! Brooks (who deified Obama’s perfectly creased trousers) will be mortified.

  • Paul Hooson

    “I don’t know how he did it, but somehow I think Obama tapped my phone…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    Hardly a recuse…

  • Paul Hooson

    “I have no problem with recusing, as long as it’s tastefully done…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    “Please miss, be a little more modest and buy a larger tampon string!”.

  • Paul Hooson

    White House night at The Apollo…

  • Paul Hooson

    Leave it to beaver…

  • Paul Hooson

    Most of the men are gentlemen, except for one questionable guy who walked by and dropped his glasses, then walked by again, and dropped his wallet, and then walked by again and dropped a pen, then walked by again and…

  • Paul Hooson

    She’s having a good night, many men tipped her dollar bills…

  • Paul Hooson

    Men are asking what aftershave she uses…

  • Paul Hooson

    $20 will get you a table dance…

  • Paul Hooson

    Does the carpet match the drapes?

  • yetanotherjohn

    Mr.President, I speak jive … or at least I have a translation app for that.

    • Paul Hooson

      Jive talkin’?

    • yetanotherjohn

      ‘S’mofo butter layin’ me to da’ BONE! Jackin’ me up… tight me!

  • Paul Hooson

    Managed health care? A gynecological examination in the waiting room in front of the other patients…