Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners Week of March 24, 2017
Democrats to Filibuster Gorsuch
  • yetanotherjohn

    Dear Penthouse, I never though hitchhiking would be such a sexual adventure …

  • yetanotherjohn

    Zombie apocalypse, here I come.

  • “Hiya, friends! Ralph Spoilsport, Ralph Spoilsport Motors… the world’s LARGest new-used and used automobile dealership… Ralph Spoilsport Motors here in the city of… EMphysema! Let’s just look at thr EXtras on this fabulous car: wire wheel spoke fenders, two-way sneeze-thru winds vents, star-studded mud guards, sponge-coated EDible steering column, CHROME fender dents and factory AIR conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped… air conditioned factory. It’s a BEAUTiful car friends (with doors to match), purchased BLACKlist as this automobile was STOlen, but for you friends the complete price: only two-ninety-five HUNdred dollars; and easy money payments available once a week, twice a week and never on Sunday… As you can see this car has been fully equipped with a complete line of extras designed with YOUR MIND in mind: here for instance an all-weather climate control in red, blue or green, with a special oxygen danger indicator level. And here of course your own personal remote control picture-sized color TV with matching brass knobs. Just reach above the bar and press the button right there under the handy laminated imitation masonite Wild West gun rack (with the look of real wood) for the channel… of your choice.”

    • yetanotherjohn

      Driven only by an elderly man up and down Pennsylvania avenue.

  • yetanotherjohn

    What’s this nozzle labeled “Trucker’s friend” for?

  • Retired military

    Trump “sometimes you have to clear away the garbage”
    Hat tip Ace of Spades

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6b4c3204d0638c9a05cf48a3662c0a134663bb72cb72b1095f37b27fc4e0e1cc.png

  • Retired military

    I’m not sure what is going on here but Hillary still isnt President,.

    (going for the classics… Yeah you have heard them before but this one never gets old)

  • Retired military

    Schumer “You would think Trump’s toilet would have more class”

  • Retired military

    CNN “Trump singlehandedly tramples smog emission laws”

  • fustian24

    Trump loves to sing “Born in the USA” because it pisses off Bruce Springsteen so much.

  • fustian24

    Somebody just threw the switch for the vibrating butt plug.

  • stan25

    Who said that we could not drink Coor’s beer in the White House?

  • stan25

    Donald Trump out looking for lot lizards.

    • cathymv

      Not too hard to find in DC, the whole place is one big Pickle Park!!

  • cathymv

    Zoom zoom zooma zoom!!

  • cathymv

    Trump stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three limousine liberals walked in, Pilosi, Schumer and Clinton.

    Pilosi grabbed Trumps cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. Schumer drank Trumps coffee, and Clinton wolfed down his apple pie. Trump didn’t say a word as he paid the waitress and left.

    As the waitress walked up, one of the liberals growled, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?”

    “He’s not much of a driver, either,” the waitress replied. “He just backed his 18-wheeler over three limousines.”

  • cathymv

    Whats the difference between JB Hunt and Schneider?

    30 gallons of orange paint!!

  • pennywit

    “VOTE ON THE BILL!!! VOTE ON THE BILL!! I WANT YOU VOTE ON THE BILL …

    “On second thought, never mind.”

  • Paul Hooson

    “Chuck Berry? Chuck Barris? Chuck Berry?….It’s all too confusing. I’ll let Steve Bannon sort it out…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    “If you kids don’t be quiet back there, then I’m turning this country back around…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    FEDERAL EXCESS…

  • Paul Hooson

    Our Motto: “When It Absolutely, Positively, Needs To Be Fucked Up…”

  • Paul Hooson

    Driving a truck? Isn’t this supposed to be “The Party Of Lincolns…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    “How’s My Driving?”.

  • Paul Hooson

    The only possible sight much more scary than an ISIS driver behind the wheel…

  • Paul Hooson

    Reason number one why getting head while driving isn’t such a great idea…

  • Paul Hooson

    “Hey, Melania! That’s no stick shift!”.

  • Paul Hooson

    “These small hands aren’t made for turnin’ this big ‘ole steering wheel…”.

  • Paul Hooson

    Trump Truck Driving School?

  • Joe_Miller

    You just know he’s making motor noises with his mouth.

  • Joe_Miller

    Tractor? I don’t even know her. Trailer? How many times do I have to say this?

  • Joe_Miller

    “I don’t make trucks. HEY IVANKA, DO WE MAKE TRUCKS? I’m gonna make trucks. Fabulous, luxurious trucks.”

  • yetanotherjohn

    If you like your gas guzzler, you can keep your gas guzzler.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Trump was working on his truck. In a bit of revelry, he picked up his hammer and said “I’m Thor”.
    Ryan, who had just walked into the garage, replied “Well then take an athprin”.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Baby you can drive my car

  • Wild_Willie

    “I’ll get the bill passed.” ww

  • “99 bottles of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild on the wall, 99 bottles right here.
    Take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild on the wall!”

  • Rick Adams

    Everyone who drives slower than you is a moron; everyone who drives faster than you is a maniac.

    • yetanotherjohn

      Any one who wants sex less than you is frigid, anyone who wants it more than you is a nymphomaniac.

  • stan25

    Hey where is the Old Home Fill’er Keep Truckin Cafe?

  • stan25

    Donald Trump keeps a death grip on the steering whelel as he watches a video of the trip down Wolf Creek Pass.

  • stan25

    Suddenly the flashers start driving by.

  • RadiCalMan

    NAFTA – I’m coming for you next!

  • Paul Hooson

    Q:How do you tell when a driver is over 70?

    A: When their flashers have been on for the last two miles….

  • Paul Hooson

    “Look mister, you need to leave the showroom! Security!”.

  • Paul Hooson

    A, mean mother trucker!

  • Paul Hooson

    Q: Where does a 70 year old driving a semi drive?

    A: Anywhere they want to…

  • Paul Hooson

    Remember that awful Stephen King movie where trucks keep driving around in circles? Well, this government just keeps running around in circles each week…

  • RadiCalMan

    I’m going to need a bigger truck! The swamp is bigger and deeper than I thought it was.

  • Mary Gehman

    “You’re passing ME?!?! I don’t think so!!!”

  • Formula for disaster. Itty bitty hands… Great big steering wheel.

  • Mary Gehman

    In The News…Today in DC, POTUS leads a convoy of septic pump trucks to the Capital building and begins the swamp-draining process…

  • yetanotherjohn

    What do you mean they didn’t even vote for my idea?