Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un provides guidance on a nuclear weapons program

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

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  • yetanotherjohn

    Make the salt shaker big enough and even Dear Leader will cut down on salt.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Hey, wait a minute, that’s my wok.

  • yetanotherjohn

    One third of the axle of evil.

  • Rock ThisTown

    “Yes, yes, O Supreme Leader, it’s small enough to fit in overhead bin.”

  • Rock ThisTown

    Hmmm . . . those rivets look like the same ones used to build the Titanic.

  • Rock ThisTown

    “No, you idiot! I said NUKE bomb, not NUDE bomb!”

  • Rock ThisTown

    “I pulled the trigger. Why didn’t it go ‘bang’?”

  • Rock ThisTown

    Two warheads better than gun.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Kim the scientist: Well Dear Leader, I’m going to make the tour with you. You know Great Leader, your father, gave me a job as manager for as long as you rule.

    Dear Leader: Look Kim, if you’re the manager, you must know all the scientists.

    Kim the scientist: I certainly do.

    Dear Leader: Well you know I’ve never met the guys. So you’ll have to tell me their names, and then I’ll know who’s working on the bomb.

    Kim the scientist: Oh, I’ll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these scientists now-a-days secret names.

    Dear Leader: You mean funny names?

    Kim the scientist: Secret names, code names…like Hung Guy…

    Dear Leader: His brother Well.

    Kim the scientist: Well Hung…

    Dear Leader: And their cousin.

    Kim the scientist: Cousin?

    Dear Leader: Over.

    Kim the scientist: Hung Over. Well, let’s see, we have on the program, Who’s making plutonium, What’s is designing the trigger, I Don’t Know is fabricating the rocket…

    Dear Leader: That’s what I want to find out.

    Kim the scientist: I say Who’s is making plutonium, What’s is designing the trigger, I Don’t Know’s fabricating the rocket.

    Dear Leader: Are you the manager?

    Kim the scientist: Yes.

    Dear Leader: You gonna be the chief scientist too?

    Kim the scientist: Yes.

    Dear Leader: And you don’t know the fellows’ names?

    Kim the scientist: Well I should.

    Dear Leader: Well then who’s on making plutonium?

    Kim the scientist: Yes.

    Dear Leader: I mean the fellow’s name.

    Kim the scientist: Who.

    Dear Leader: The guy making plutonium.

    Kim the scientist: Who.

    Dear Leader: The plutonium maker.

    Kim the scientist: Who.

    Dear Leader: The guy making…

    Kim the scientist: Who is making plutonium!

    Dear Leader: I’m asking YOU who’s making plutonium.

    Kim the scientist: That’s the man’s name.

    Dear Leader: That’s who’s name?

    Kim the scientist: Yes.

    Dear Leader: Well go ahead and tell me.

    Kim the scientist: That’s it.

    Dear Leader: That’s who?

    Kim the scientist: Yes.

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: Look, you gotta make plutonium?

    Kim the scientist: Certainly.

    Dear Leader: Who’s making plutonium?

    Kim the scientist: That’s right.

    Dear Leader: When you pay off the plutonium maker every month, who gets the money?

    Kim the scientist: Every Won of it.

    Dear Leader: All I’m trying to find out is the fellow’s name making plutonium.

    Kim the scientist: Who.

    Dear Leader: The guy that gets…

    Kim the scientist: That’s it.

    Dear Leader: Who gets the money…

    Kim the scientist: He does, every Won. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

    Dear Leader: Who’s wife?

    Kim the scientist: Yes.

    PAUSE

    Kim the scientist: What’s wrong with that?

    Dear Leader: Look, all I wanna know is when you signed up the plutonium maker, how does he sign his name?

    Kim the scientist: Who.

    Dear Leader: The guy.

    Kim the scientist: Who.

    Dear Leader: How does he sign…

    Kim the scientist: That’s how he signs it.

    Dear Leader: Who?

    Kim the scientist: Yes.

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name making plutonium.

    Kim the scientist: No. What is designing the trigger.

    Dear Leader: I’m not asking you who’s designing the trigger.

    Kim the scientist: Who’s making plutonium.

    Dear Leader: One step at a time!

    Kim the scientist: Well, don’t change the scientists around.

    Dear Leader: I’m not changing nobody!

    Kim the scientist: Take it easy, buddy.

    Dear Leader: I’m only asking you, who’s the guy making plutonium?

    Kim the scientist: That’s right.

    Dear Leader: Ok.

    Kim the scientist: All right.

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: What’s the guy’s name making plutonium?

    Kim the scientist: No. What is designing the trigger.

    Dear Leader: I’m not asking you who’s designing the trigger.

    Kim the scientist: Who’s making plutonium.

    Dear Leader: I don’t know.

    Kim the scientist: He’s fabricating the rocket, we’re not talking about him.

    Dear Leader: Now how did I get on fabricating the rocket?

    Kim the scientist: Why you mentioned his name.

    Dear Leader: If I mentioned the the rocket fabricators name, who did I say is fabricating the rocket?

    Kim the scientist: No. Who’s playing making plutonium.

    Dear Leader: What’s making plutonium?

    Kim the scientist: What’s designing the trigger.

    Dear Leader: I don’t know.

    Kim the scientist: He’s fabricating the rocket.

    Dear Leader: There I go, back fabricating the rocket again!

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: Would you just stay on fabricating the rocket and don’t go off it.

    Kim the scientist: All right, what do you want to know?

    Dear Leader: Now who’s fabricating the rocket?

    Kim the scientist: Why do you insist on having Who fabricating the rocket?

    Dear Leader: What am I putting fabricating the rocket.

    Kim the scientist: No. What is designing the trigger.

    Dear Leader: You don’t want who designing the trigger?

    Kim the scientist: Who is making plutonium.

    Dear Leader: I don’t know.

    Kim the scientist& Dear Leader Together: The rocket!

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: Look, you gotta people designing the missile?

    Kim the scientist: Sure.

    Dear Leader: The rocket fuel experts name?

    Kim the scientist: Why.

    Dear Leader: I just thought I’d ask you.

    Kim the scientist: Well, I just thought I’d tell ya.

    Dear Leader: Then tell me who’s the rocket fuel experts name.

    Kim the scientist: Who’s making plutonium.

    Dear Leader: I’m not… stay out of the bomb! I want to know what’s the guy’s name in rocket fuel?

    Kim the scientist: No, What is designing the trigger.

    Dear Leader: I’m not asking you who’s designing the trigger.

    Kim the scientist: Who’s on making plutonium!

    Dear Leader: I don’t know.

    Kim the scientist & Dear Leader Together: The rocket!

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: The rocket fuel experts name?

    Kim the scientist: Why.

    Dear Leader: Because!

    Kim the scientist: Oh, he’s guidance.

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: Look, You gotta launch control on this program?

    Kim the scientist: Sure.

    Dear Leader: The launch controller’s name?

    Kim the scientist: Tomorrow.

    Dear Leader: You don’t want to tell me today?

    Kim the scientist: I’m telling you now.

    Dear Leader: Then go ahead.

    Kim the scientist: Tomorrow!

    Dear Leader: What time?

    Kim the scientist: What time what?

    Dear Leader: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who’s launch control?

    Kim the scientist: Now listen. Who is not launch control.

    Dear Leader: I’ll break your arm, you say who’s making plutonium! I want to know what’s the launch controller’s name?

    Kim the scientist: What’s designing the trigger .

    Dear Leader: I don’t know.

    Kim the scientist & Dear Leader Together: The rocket!

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: Gotta a target selection?

    Kim the scientist: Certainly.

    Dear Leader: The target selector’s name?

    Kim the scientist: Today.

    Dear Leader: Today, and tomorrow’s guidance.

    Kim the scientist: Now you’ve got it.

    Dear Leader: All we got is a couple of days on the program.

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: You know I’m doing target selection too.

    Kim the scientist: So they tell me.

    Dear Leader: I get behind the desk to do some fancy target selection, Tomorrow’s launch control on my team and a foreign enemy gets up. Now the foreign enemy chaps my hide. When he chaps my hide, me, being a target selector, I’m gonna order up some plutonium from the guy making plutonium. So I pick up the phone and call who?

    Kim the scientist: Now that’s the first thing you’ve said right.

    Dear Leader: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

    PAUSE

    Kim the scientist: That’s all you have to do.

    Dear Leader: Is to call the guy making plutonium.

    Kim the scientist: Yes!

    Dear Leader: Now who’s got it?

    Kim the scientist: Naturally.

    PAUSE

    Dear Leader: Look, if I call the guy making plutonium, somebody’s gotta answer it. Now who answers it?

    Kim the scientist: Naturally.

    Dear Leader: Who?

    Kim the scientist: Naturally.

    Dear Leader: Naturally?

    Kim the scientist: Naturally.

    Dear Leader: So I pick up the phone and I call Naturally.

    Kim the scientist: No you don’t, you call Who.

    Dear Leader: Naturally.

    Kim the scientist: That’s different.

    Dear Leader: That’s what I said.

    Kim the scientist: You’re not saying it…

    Dear Leader: I call Naturally.

    Kim the scientist: You call Who.

    Dear Leader: Naturally.

    Kim the scientist: That’s it.

    Dear Leader: That’s what I said!

    Kim the scientist: You ask me.

    Dear Leader: I call to who?

    Kim the scientist: Naturally.

    Dear Leader: Now you ask me.

    Kim the scientist: You call to Who?

    Dear Leader: Naturally.

    Kim the scientist: That’s it.

    Dear Leader: Same as you! Same as YOU! I call to who. Whoever it is get the plutonium and needs a trigger. Who picks up the phone and calls to What. What calls it to I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know calls to Tomorrow, Rocket is ready to go. Another enemy shows up and air strikes Because. Why? I don’t know! He’s fabricating the rocket and I don’t give a darn!

    Kim the scientist: What?

    Dear Leader: I said I don’t give a darn!

    Kim the scientist: Oh, that’s our telemetry officer.

  • Rock ThisTown

    “Is this where you hook up the jumper cables?”

  • yetanotherjohn

    Dear Leader doesn’t get a radiation badge and the other’s badges are in the red … things are looking up.

  • RadiCalMan

    Thanks to Bubba, this is where we are today; aren’t you glad we won’t have to find out what Hillary would do next!

  • Wild_Willie

    “This is where the Skittles are?”

  • “Now all we need is Jane Fonda to reprise her role as Barbarella.”

  • Mary Gehman

    “Do you think we’re over-compensating…???”

    • yetanotherjohn

      Over-compensate and under-deliver

  • Putting the bomb in photobomb

  • Rick Adams

    I push the first valve down
    The music goes down and around
    Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho
    And it comes out here…

  • Mary Gehman

    Just a bunch of swingin’ dicks wondering if it’s a giant tampon…

    • yetanotherjohn

      It’s not?

  • yetanotherjohn

    The rotary blades turning in a counter-clockwise motion to impel the air are spun up to 12,000 radians per second when the fecal matter is injected to impact the rotary blades.

  • yetanotherjohn

    North Korea’s famine days are behind them as Dear Leader inspect latest Soylent Green processing equipment.

  • yetanotherjohn

    This is not a disco ball, I asked for a disco ball.

  • yetanotherjohn

    If Kim here would just improve his targeting software this would kill people just by landing on them.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Are you sure this is the holy grail? I mean King Arthur and all his knights holy grail? It doesn’t look like what I was expecting.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Dear Leader remembers his college days and invites his wildest friends over for a kegger … gingham style.

  • yetanotherjohn

    The bad news is that North Korea is developing a nuclear bomb. The good news is that this photo was taken by one of our stealth drones armed with missiles.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Well why don’t you just stuff more boom-boom juice in to make a bigger explosion?

  • yetanotherjohn

    With 200 captions, Dear Leader gives us twice as many egg rolls.

  • yetanotherjohn

    Boys and their toys.

  • It went “Zip” when it moved,
    And “Bop” when it stopped,
    And “Whirrr” when it stood still,
    I never know just what is was and I
    guess I never will.

    Oh… and there’s an atom bomb in the picture too.

  • Know your enema

  • Mary Gehman

    Keep your friends close and your enemas closer…
    (Hat tip to Rodney Dill)

  • Paul Hooson

    “That thing gave me this crazy haircut!”.

  • Paul Hooson

    Name two things in this picture that are Fat Man and Little Boy all rolled into one?

  • Paul Hooson

    Strangely, it was Madge Blake who played Aunt Harriet on TV’s BATMAN that designed the nuclear bomb fuse for Fat Man and Little Boy. Dennis Rodman is no help on this technical issue…

  • Paul Hooson

    Proof positive that space aliens never shared their vast knowledge of science with mere mortal humans…

  • Paul Hooson

    A man without a Seoul…

  • Paul Hooson

    Uh, let me guess? Ron Popeil’s “Made-For-TV Crazy Haircut 1000”?

  • Paul Hooson

    CAUTION: OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR MAY APPEAR TO BE EVEN SMALLER THAN THEY ACTUALLY ARE…

  • Paul Hooson

    North Korea? The only nation in the world where something marked “Made In China” means quality goods…

  • How did the volunteer fare when the enema machine was inserted in the rectum?
    Wrecked’ ‘im…. Damn near killed him

  • TheyTukRJobz

    Yes, Fearless Leader. You just put your penis in here for a half-hour every day and 6 months later, it will be a powerful 6 inches long!

    • yetanotherjohn

      Wow, triple the length in just 6 months.

  • Scorpion

    Dear Reader, its says its name is Nomad and that you are its creator. “Yes, we now have smart bomb”.

  • fustian24

    “You know what they say: big bomb, little…”

  • Robert Reed

    So you see Sir, if you would just add more fibre to your diet, none of this would be necessary.