This week’s Weekend Caption Contest™ showed that: A)There is no such thing as privacy in a room full of cameras, and B) For some reason, chairs with longer legs are no where to be found when Congress is getting ready to whup you in public. The assignment this week was to caption the following picture:
Here are the winning entries:
1) (Brian Brandt) – “Zuckerberg: Half of this Senate is made up of liars and cheats!
Senator: I demand you retract that statement!
Zuckerberg: O.K., half of this Senate is NOT made up of liars and cheats!”
(fustian24) – “We called it “Facebook” because “Lying Snoop That Sells All Your Personal Information” wasn’t testing well.”
2) (RockThisTown) – ““Hmmm . . . I guess I would equate our privacy settings to having a personal server in a bathroom closet.””
(Mary Gehman) – ““Face-Book him, Dano…””
3) (Rodney G. Graves) – “A booster seat under an empty suit.”
(Scorpion) – “As a matter of fact, we did have a dossier on Hillary. Unfortunately it disappeared around the same time as two of my vice-presidents.”
4) (BluesHarper) – “Well, if you are going to lie this is the place to do it.”
(yetanotherjohn) – “Trust me, you can’t swing an election using social media … God knows we tried.”
5) (Paul Hooson) – “Sonny & chair?”
(Joe_Miller) – “He still sits at the card table for Thanksgiving.”
6) (guido81_MA) – “He tried his natural inclination of sitting on the Bill of Rights first, but then he couldn’t see over the desk.”
(Rick Adams) – ““A gracious hello. Here at Facebook, we handle eighty-four
billion posts a year… serving everyone from presidents and kings to the
scum of the earth. So, we realize that, every so often your post is deleted, or
perhaps you get banned for no apparent reason. We don’t care!
“You see, Facebook consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space age technology that is so sophisticated even we can’t handle it. But that’s your problem,
isn’t it? So, the next time you complain about Facebook, why don’t you try using two Dixie cups with a string?
We don’t care.We don’t have to. We’re Facebook.””
The Readers Choice Award this week goes to two captioners as we had a tie:
(Retired military) – “Zuckerberg “I am not sitting on a booster seat, that is my wallet””
(rodney dill) – ““Why do we run ads? Because we don’t have the ability to tax our users to death involuntarily…. like you do.””
(Kenny Moore) – “Yes, Senator, people actually type personal information into a social media website and are outraged when someone reads it.”
(Wild Willie) – ““Thank’s for the booster seat. Now I feel like grown up.””
Most Inappropriate But Funny:
(DJD60_TX) – “Zuckerberg demonstrates his new “hands-free” option to post on Facebook.”
Best use of the Trump Administration Caption of Choice:
(cathymv) – “If you listen really close, you can hear Hillary screaming from Zuckerbergs briefcase “You said you were going to get me into the White House, you bastard!!””
Best Banter Weight:
(fustian24) – “OK…
It’s pansy-ass, little, sanctimonious, shit-for-brains, no-talent, queefing, douche-faced, dickwad, fungal, asswad, butt-sexed, weasel day down at the capitol.”
That’s all for this weekend. A new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.