The Bonfire of the Vanities celebrates Thanksgiving by offering up the plumpest, juiciest turkeys of the week. The motto this week is "Is It Ready Yet?." This weeks entries prove that even when their cupboards are bare some bloggers post away anyway. All of this weeks entries were NOT awarded the traditional presidential pardon for turkeys so they've been shipped off to the Bonfire.

If you want to be reminded to enter the Bonfire each week via e-mail, subscribe to the Bonfire mailing list. If you're hungry Turduckin, it's what's for dinner...

It's dinnertime!

Heather is talking about boobs. You know you're interested…
Donnie sure has a way with the ladies. What woman wouldn't swoon over tales of foot hygiene?
Brian thinks movies are out to get him. In his case he's probably right…
Eric is a Bonfire newbie… He submitted this entry to the Bonfire, which while extremely long and often rambling does not completely suck. As a service to Eric I'll direct you to this entry which truly does suck…
John shows how we won the Vietnam War. Seriously the Bush administration should sign him up for spin control.
Harvey is mildly obsessed with female masturbation. But then again who isn't...
Blackfive has exclusive Paris Hilton photos, and the carpet doesn't match the drapes!
Susie makes you glad you're not her. Keep a eye on the newswires for a workplace incident, just in case.
Susie has nominated this entry from LeeAnn. We normally don't take requests, but in this case the post really belongs in the Bonfire.
Jennifer + alcohol + Rachel Weisz = Your first published entry at Penthouse Forum.
The King Of Fools shares a TPS moment.
Interested Participant is not the shit…
Kin has news you can use: Jennifer's breasts, lesbianism, hunks, Britney… It's like a smorgasbord - you won't know when to stop!
Owen is obsessing about his Paris Hilton traffic. That is so lame…
Pete's one man off Broadway show The Paul Harvey Experience is set to open next year.
Jamie, fresh off of his Bum Fights success, wants to bring back the Inquisition to reality TV. Look for it on Fox.
Jim is never one to let a three day erection go to waste; he blogs it. I guess it helps with the typing…
Sean is looking for some baby wipes after all that butt kissing…
Jack shares a story off the coming of phones to Mayberry, RDF. They still list phone numbers with alphabet codes (MAyfield 5-2334) in those parts.
Kiril has the Mayberry Thanksgiving menu in this post. Possum it's what's for dinner!
McGehee is having some second thoughts about Jacko bashing. We're pretty sure he'll get over it…
Daniel obviously got lumps of coal for Christmas growing up. I can hear Mom saying, " No video game is going to help you get a job when you grow up…" Note to Daniel's mom - One of Bill Gates early projects was a video game called Olympic Decathlon.
Andrew is on a necrophilia bender…
My blogging was close to perfect this week! For some reason Sean was in no mood to kiss my behind, he called this post out as my Bonfire entry. Oh well, they can't all suck....

Want To Join?
E-mail a link to your worst post of the week and include any extenuating circumstance, humorous commentary, or self serving excuse for your pathetic post. Get your entries for next week's edition to me via e-mail to bonfire at wizbangblog dot com by 9 PM EST Monday December 1th. Need a reminder? Subscribe to the mailing list.