Weekend Caption Contest™ (Wizbang)

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. As a tribute to the inability of weathermen everywhere to accurately forecast the weather (especially those predict anywhere from no snow to 10 inches of snow in the same forecast), I offer you a blank slate to create your own forecast, or whatever else you want. I'm picking on WRC's Bob Ryan, but I'm pretty sure you can imagine your local weathercaster in his place...

If you're are going to put words in the announcers mouth indicate that, and if you are putting text on the background indicated that as well. Here's a couple lame examples of how you might enter:

Announcer - "Here's you forecast for Wednesday which looks just like the Tuesday forcast.."

Text - Night and morning low clouds.

Text - Warning! The guy on the left is a bigger tool than he appears to be.

I will put the text for winning entries into the picture for the winners announcement. Winners will be announced late Sunday night.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

Comments (59)

"As you can tell from the d... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Thomas Hazlewood | February 25, 2005 2:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Thomas Hazlewood:

"As you can tell from the dark cumulus, the hot air has created what we in the business refer to as a 'shitstorm' over the capitol.......

Posted on February 25, 2005 14:56

As you can see here, the di... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by jh | February 25, 2005 3:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

jh:

As you can see here, the distraction caused by the large phallic symbol to my left has rendered me completely unable to give you a forecast for Tuesday...

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:08

The National Weather Servic... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Joe R. the Unabrewer | February 25, 2005 3:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Joe R. the Unabrewer:

The National Weather Service forecasts a 60% chance of tomorrow being Tuesday.

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:10

I'm predicting a huge storm... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Chris W. | February 25, 2005 3:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Chris W.:

I'm predicting a huge storm of whup-ass to rain down on the next person who snickers about my forecasts being wrong!

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:12

"Being that's Friday I can ... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Faith+1 | February 25, 2005 3:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Faith+1:

"Being that's Friday I can finally report on what we think happened in last Tuesday's weather..."

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:13

ARRGGHHH, PIMF.Mak... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Faith+1 | February 25, 2005 3:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

ARRGGHHH, PIMF.

Make that:

"Being that it is Friday I can finally report on what we think happened in last Tuesday's weather..."

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:14

Hey, you're dissin' my budd... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Boyd | February 25, 2005 3:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Boyd:

Hey, you're dissin' my buddy, Bob! I've been watching his forecasts for over 25 years (off and on), and my wife suspects me of having a crush on him.

Mebbe. Mebbe so.

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:15

A solid Republican front ha... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by D. Carter | February 25, 2005 3:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

D. Carter:

A solid Republican front has moved in over the White House and both houses of Congress, which means that we will shortly be seeing one of those rare cold days in hell.

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:30

Announcer: "Holy crap, is t... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Salt Lick | February 25, 2005 3:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Salt Lick:

Announcer: "Holy crap, is that Senator Kennedy's car in the Tidal Basin?'

The dark clouds gathering o... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by BorgQueen | February 25, 2005 3:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

BorgQueen:

The dark clouds gathering over DC are the first tangible evidence of Senator Clinton's 2008 intentions. Should flying monkeys appear, take shelter immediately.

Stay tuned for further updates.

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:33

Announcer: And you won't wa... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Doug | February 25, 2005 3:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Doug:

Announcer: And you won't want to go outside today, as you can see it is a .. um .. well, I was sure it would be a cold dismal rainy day, um .. hmmm, I wonder what ... ummm ... Uh Back to you Bob!

Text: Current Conditions: 85 and sunny, not a cloud in site

er.......that should read:<... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by BorgQueen | February 25, 2005 3:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

er.......that should read:

Announcer: "The dark clouds gathering over DC are the first tangible evidence of Senator Clinton's 2008 intentions. Should flying monkeys appear, take shelter immediately.

Stay tuned for further updates."

P really IS MF

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:35

When the weather rope is sw... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by Allium | February 25, 2005 3:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Allium:

When the weather rope is swinging it is windy out, when it is wet it must be raining and if theres ice on the old weather sting its cold - damn cold, too damn cold for me to be outside looking at the weather rope. Good night and have a pleasent tomorrow.

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:42

Announcer: Looking ahead to... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by SteveL | February 25, 2005 3:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

SteveL:

Announcer: Looking ahead to next Tuesday, if this is a leap year, the computer predicts frigid temperatures and snow falling throughout the day. Total accumulation of 4-6 inches. If it's not a leap year, the computer predicts sunshine and a high of 53. Says here the computer hates February....

Text:...Hi, I'm Hal the weather computer...your missile defense system is next...

Posted on February 25, 2005 15:53

HIGH: 65 degreesLOW:... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Laurence Simon | February 25, 2005 4:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Laurence Simon:

HIGH: 65 degrees
LOW: 45 degrees
30% chance of Muslims raining 757s on the Pentagon.

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:02

"And we can see for Tuesday... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Brian | February 25, 2005 4:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Brian:

"And we can see for Tuesday (clap clap), we can expect highs in the upper 40's. (clap clap) For Wednesday, high around 45 degrees (clap, clap). From the NBC4 Clapper Weather Center, I'm Enormously Huge. Back to you Chuck."

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:04

"And this is what the Capit... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by The Zero Boss | February 25, 2005 4:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

The Zero Boss:

"And this is what the Capitol area would look like if I were King Kong humping the Washington Monument. ARGH! AAARRGHHH!! Ooooh, baaaybeeee..."

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:11

"Bonk" (as he... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 25, 2005 4:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Rodney Dill:

"Bonk"
(as he turns and runs into the Washington Monument.)

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:17

Our forecast indicates only... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by bullwinkle | February 25, 2005 4:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

bullwinkle:

Our forecast indicates only a 20% chance that this caption contest will be judged before next Wednesday.

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:22

Announcer: "gnineve sdrawot... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 25, 2005 4:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Announcer: "gnineve sdrawot srewohs derettacs htiw, Alright who put the f--k'n teleprompter up backwards again."

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:27

"My job makes me "harder" t... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Steve G | February 25, 2005 4:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Steve G:

"My job makes me "harder" than Chinese Arithmetic!"

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:30

"We have a 20% chance of ra... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Justin B | February 25, 2005 4:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Justin B:

"We have a 20% chance of rain for your Martin Luther Coon... King Junior Day celebration"

{thinks}Holy shit, did I just accidentally say that! I wasn't even thinking that...

Other news caster: "And we have a 100% chance of a hate crime in the parking lot when you leave the station."

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:40

Text : Bob's hair ... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by MMM | February 25, 2005 4:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

MMM:

Text : Bob's hair is fake.
Announcer: IS NOT!
Text : Yes it is.
Announcer: IS NOT!

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:44

<a href="http://wizbangblog... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Justin B | February 25, 2005 4:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

http://wizbangblog.com/archives/004831.php

That was a reference to the Las Vegas Weatherman last month. So the Race police don't come knocking on my door.

If this is in your forecast... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Chrees | February 25, 2005 4:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Chrees:

If this is in your forecast, please contact Jessica Cutler or (if out of money) Wonkette.

Posted on February 25, 2005 16:57

And although the rest of th... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Bruce | February 25, 2005 5:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Bruce:

And although the rest of the region can expect 84 inches of snow, everything inside the capitol beltway is protected by a bubble of political hot air and should experience sunshine and mild temperatures.

Posted on February 25, 2005 17:36

Meteorologist: "...and fina... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by player of blues | February 25, 2005 5:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

player of blues:

Meteorologist: "...and finally for Tuesday, there is a 75% chance of a plague of locusts." "God has HAD it."

Posted on February 25, 2005 17:37

“If bullshit was white, The... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Stan25 | February 25, 2005 6:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Stan25:

“If bullshit was white, The Democratic Members of Congress would be Olympic class skiers.”

Posted on February 25, 2005 18:15

Text: Drizzle fo' sh... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by McGehee | February 25, 2005 6:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

McGehee:

Text: Drizzle fo' shizzle
Announcer: "...and we'd like to thank Snoop Dogg for filling in for our missing captions technician tonight..."

Posted on February 25, 2005 18:33

Text: 80% chance of ... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by McGehee | February 25, 2005 6:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Text: 80% chance of saving hundreds on car insurance by switching to GEICO.
Announcer: "And here's tomorrow's Sucking Up to Our Sponsors™ forecast..."

Posted on February 25, 2005 18:35

"Hello, everybody! Al Slee... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by CraigC | February 25, 2005 6:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

CraigC:

"Hello, everybody! Al Sleet, The Hippy-Dippy Weatherman here with ya on a gorgeous evening in our Nation's Capital!"

"Let's get right to my predictions...tonight's forecast...dark!....turning to scattered light towards dawn, with a great chance for full illumination after about seven..."

"That's it for me, but stay tuned for Biff Barf with the Sportlight Spotlight, right after this!"

Posted on February 25, 2005 18:46

"I've spotted a huge snow h... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by RR | February 25, 2005 7:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

RR:

"I've spotted a huge snow hill...wait a minute, never mind that's Marion Barry's place. Ok, stay classy Washington."

Posted on February 25, 2005 19:00

Text: Tuesday: Michael Moor... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by lawrence | February 25, 2005 7:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

lawrence:

Text: Tuesday: Michael Moore and Al Sharpton have joined forces to block the sun.

Posted on February 25, 2005 19:22

"OK, I'll pretend to be Pre... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Duffer | February 25, 2005 7:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Duffer:

"OK, I'll pretend to be President Clinton - so, look, it was a simple grip on Monica Lewinsky's head like this just as he unzipped.......what do you say ? the CGI simulation of Lewinsky's head is malfunctioning.....WHAT ? we're on air !!"

Posted on February 25, 2005 19:29

I watched Bob Ryan's 5:25 p... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Tom | February 25, 2005 8:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Tom:

I watched Bob Ryan's 5:25 p.m. forecast religiously, for years. Then I left the D.C. area for central Texas, so that I'd never again have to listen to his overblown promises of humongous blizzards about to paralyze the D.C. area. What a letdown it was when D.C. was able to conduct "business as usual."

Anyway, here's my entry:

Announcer - There's a 50-percent chance that Tuesday wil follow Monday and precede Wednesday.

Text - Bob Ryan's hair color courtesy L'Oreal for Men: "The Gray Goes Away."

Posted on February 25, 2005 20:11

"Not shown in Picture: Ted ... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 25, 2005 8:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

"Not shown in Picture: Ted Kennedy choking on a dinner roll."

(just testing Schwerv's law)

Posted on February 25, 2005 20:24

- tickertape Text : ...Offi... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Big Bang Hunter | February 25, 2005 8:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Big Bang Hunter:

- tickertape Text : ...Officials at camp cupcake said that the explosion was probably due to one of Martha's SemTek laced muffins....

- Text on background : "Large pertrubances moving into DC area...Monumental shrinkage expected from this evenings temperature drop"

- Ryan : "...So then do you think maybe I could sort of wrap My jacket around it.... help me here I'm on air in 3 minutes..... damn Viagra...."

Posted on February 25, 2005 20:55

Announcer - "Darn, I droppe... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by dark_indy | February 25, 2005 9:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

dark_indy:

Announcer - "Darn, I dropped my magic 8 ball."

Text - work week will be nice out, but kiss the weekend goodby. What did you do to anger God?

Posted on February 25, 2005 21:26

Weatherman: "It is clear th... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Dodo David | February 25, 2005 9:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Dodo David:

Weatherman: "It is clear that Congress is in session, as indicated by the mass of hot air building up over D.C."

After four hours, Ted the w... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 25, 2005 9:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

After four hours, Ted the weatherman dropped over dead, not having sought the requisite immediate medical attention.

Posted on February 25, 2005 21:38

Weekend Caption Contest™

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Comments (59)