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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin
Published: March 25, 2005 - 8:00 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Britney Spears poolside - March 2005


Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

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Comments (56)

According to this article, ... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by PTG | March 25, 2005 8:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
PTG:

According to this article, if I lose more weight I'll be smaller target for deadly melanoma causing solar radiation.

1. Posted by PTG | March 25, 2005 8:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 08:09

I'm sorry Kevin, were you s... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Paul | March 25, 2005 8:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Paul:

I'm sorry Kevin, were you saying something?

2. Posted by Paul | March 25, 2005 8:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 08:21

Britney: "So...what's the l... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Eric | March 25, 2005 8:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric:

Britney: "So...what's the latest gossip about Britney Spears. I just love reading about Britney."

3. Posted by Eric | March 25, 2005 8:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 08:45

"Mmm...this looks intere... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Queenie | March 25, 2005 8:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Queenie:

"Mmm...this looks interesting...'The Cheeto Diet For Dummies'...mmm...Cheetos..."

4. Posted by Queenie | March 25, 2005 8:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 08:45

"Hmmm...this magazine says ... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Insomniac | March 25, 2005 8:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Insomniac:

"Hmmm...this magazine says I can lose weight by sitting on a lawn chair and reading this magazine..."

5. Posted by Insomniac | March 25, 2005 8:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 08:55

Whoever would have thought ... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by McTrip | March 25, 2005 9:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McTrip:

Whoever would have thought that a magazine about the Japanese parliament could be so interesting......

6. Posted by McTrip | March 25, 2005 9:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 09:03

Less tar? Great taste? Why ... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Laurence Simon | March 25, 2005 9:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

Less tar? Great taste? Why haven't I been smoking all this time?

7. Posted by Laurence Simon | March 25, 2005 9:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 09:10

ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ...snork... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Faith+1 | March 25, 2005 9:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ...snork...umppphhh....ZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZ

8. Posted by Faith+1 | March 25, 2005 9:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 09:10

South Beach diet my ass! I... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Mike | March 25, 2005 9:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mike:

South Beach diet my ass! I've been here 2 weeks and haven't lost a pound!

9. Posted by Mike | March 25, 2005 9:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 09:16

"Yuk -- who is that fat slu... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by wavemaker | March 25, 2005 9:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
wavemaker:

"Yuk -- who is that fat slut with the cig in her mouth??? OMFG, it's ME!!!"

10. Posted by wavemaker | March 25, 2005 9:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 09:22

"Hmm...Dick Cheney....yummy... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Brian | March 25, 2005 9:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian:

"Hmm...Dick Cheney....yummy.... Dammit, now I have to go change my bikini bottom."

11. Posted by Brian | March 25, 2005 9:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 09:23

"Hmmm. Where can I get one... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by CGHill | March 25, 2005 9:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
CGHill:

"Hmmm. Where can I get one of those 'feeding tubes' I'm always hearing about?"

12. Posted by CGHill | March 25, 2005 9:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 09:38

Britney discovers that her ... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by OneDrummer | March 25, 2005 9:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OneDrummer:

Britney discovers that her Spring Break one-nighter with Bill Clinton leaves her feeling hungover and a little bloated like she did growing up in the trailer back home...

13. Posted by OneDrummer | March 25, 2005 9:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 09:56

"Kevin, you lying BASTARD! ... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Rick13 | March 25, 2005 10:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rick13:

"Kevin, you lying BASTARD! I’ve looked through ton’s of these diet magazine’s and I can’t find one article that say’s swallowing will help me lose weight! ”

14. Posted by Rick13 | March 25, 2005 10:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 10:32

Say, miss, can I read over ... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by dchamil | March 25, 2005 10:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
dchamil:

Say, miss, can I read over your shoulder?

15. Posted by dchamil | March 25, 2005 10:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 10:38

Do these glasses make my as... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Matt | March 25, 2005 10:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Matt:

Do these glasses make my ass look big?

16. Posted by Matt | March 25, 2005 10:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 10:44

"Kirstie Alley was in 'Wrat... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by Salt Lick | March 25, 2005 10:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Salt Lick:

"Kirstie Alley was in 'Wrath of Khan?' Like, I've never even heard of them."

17. Posted by Salt Lick | March 25, 2005 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 10:53

"Hay Kay-vun, thuh hint for... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by dooley | March 25, 2005 10:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
dooley:

"Hay Kay-vun, thuh hint for five acrosst sayz, 'washed up skank...' Its two wurdz and starts wif B-R-I-T and endz wif E-A-R-S."

18. Posted by dooley | March 25, 2005 10:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 10:57

Hey Jay, bring me back a fi... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Stan25 | March 25, 2005 11:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stan25:

Hey Jay, bring me back a fifth of Jack Daniels and a pack of Marlboros from the 7-11

19. Posted by Stan25 | March 25, 2005 11:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 11:10

Dooley: Damn you! You cause... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Old Coot | March 25, 2005 11:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Old Coot:

Dooley: Damn you! You caused another coffee spew....send money for cleanup.

20. Posted by Old Coot | March 25, 2005 11:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 11:13

Tragically, many Americans ... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Brian J. | March 25, 2005 11:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian J.:

Tragically, many Americans could recognize Britney Spears from this test photograph, indicating that the nation requires more therapy.

21. Posted by Brian J. | March 25, 2005 11:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 11:18

Mark McGwire: "I ... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by McGehee | March 25, 2005 11:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

Mark McGwire: "I knew I shouldn't have let Canseco inject me with those so-called steroids."

22. Posted by McGehee | March 25, 2005 11:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 11:26

"Dee-ayt...Dee-yeht...Daiyt... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Teflon | March 25, 2005 11:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Teflon:

"Dee-ayt...Dee-yeht...Daiyt....Deet....Dang, "Hooked on Phonics" didn't work for me at all!"

23. Posted by Teflon | March 25, 2005 11:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 11:53

"I'm gonna need a bigger ma... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by physics geek | March 25, 2005 12:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
physics geek:

"I'm gonna need a bigger magazine; my ass is STILL getting sunburned."

24. Posted by physics geek | March 25, 2005 12:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 12:00

"Does this magazine make me... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Brainster | March 25, 2005 12:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brainster:

"Does this magazine make me look fat?"

25. Posted by Brainster | March 25, 2005 12:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 12:09

"Is it my imagination, or a... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Hanna | March 25, 2005 12:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hanna:

"Is it my imagination, or are these magazines getting fatter...?"

26. Posted by Hanna | March 25, 2005 12:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 12:47

Let's see, it says here the... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Tom Blogical | March 25, 2005 1:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

Let's see, it says here they think I'm on a See Food Diet. Heh-heh. They're way off! I hate fishy stuff.

27. Posted by Tom Blogical | March 25, 2005 1:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 13:08

I sure hope that the diet t... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Stan25 | March 25, 2005 1:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stan25:

I sure hope that the diet tips in this magazine work. I sure would hate to be on the beach and be called a whale.

28. Posted by Stan25 | March 25, 2005 1:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 13:24

Damned kabbalah didn't help... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | March 25, 2005 1:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Aaron's Rantblog:

Damned kabbalah didn't help me get rid of 3 of my 4 chins.

29. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | March 25, 2005 1:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 13:26

Hmmm I wonder if there are ... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Stan25 | March 25, 2005 1:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stan25:

Hmmm I wonder if there are any natural breast enhancement tips here.

30. Posted by Stan25 | March 25, 2005 1:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 13:27

Wow! If I do all of these d... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Stephen Macklin | March 25, 2005 1:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

Wow! If I do all of these diets at the same time in two months I'll look like one of the Olson Twins.

31. Posted by Stephen Macklin | March 25, 2005 1:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 13:38

14 minutes 59 seconds, a... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by Rodney Dill | March 25, 2005 2:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

14 minutes 59 seconds, and counting

32. Posted by Rodney Dill | March 25, 2005 2:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 14:27

"So it says here that you'r... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by FreakyBoy | March 25, 2005 2:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FreakyBoy:

"So it says here that you're allowed to subtract the weight of implants from your overall weight. Cool! Easiest, diet, ever!"

33. Posted by FreakyBoy | March 25, 2005 2:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 14:38

"Hay, this here story looks... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by dooley | March 25, 2005 3:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
dooley:

"Hay, this here story looks intrestin', "Debbie Gibson Diet Secrets".

34. Posted by dooley | March 25, 2005 3:10 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 15:10

JBX 37.58 -0.20, MCD 31.58 ... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by howard_dean_britney_spears_al_franken_love_triangle | March 25, 2005 3:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
howard_dean_britney_spears_al_franken_love_triangle:

JBX 37.58 -0.20, MCD 31.58 +0.13, YUM 52.32 +1.72, DPZ 17.91 +0.22,... why did my broker say I need growth stocks when my butt is getting BIGGER!?!

35. Posted by howard_dean_britney_spears_al_franken_love_triangle | March 25, 2005 3:15 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 15:15

Honey, does this bikini mak... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Stan25 | March 25, 2005 3:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stan25:

Honey, does this bikini make me look fat?

36. Posted by Stan25 | March 25, 2005 3:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 15:23

[I hereby withhold my sugge... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by -S- | March 25, 2005 4:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
-S-:

[I hereby withhold my suggested caption because it is Good Friday, because I have limits to what I will and won't express, particularly publicly, and because I just can't bring myself to type out here what it is I'd guess Britney Spears might be musing about where diet and intake of calories is concerned regarding a certain trendy overweight publisher of trashy, trendy magazines that is well known for being crude in print and media about Britney Spears and whom Britney Spears is reasonable in responding in kind about....]

37. Posted by -S- | March 25, 2005 4:10 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 16:10

But, an alternative:<... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by -S- | March 25, 2005 4:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
-S-:

But, an alternative:

"Hey, look at THAT guy! I wonder how many calories HE is?"

38. Posted by -S- | March 25, 2005 4:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 16:11

"Here I thought this magazi... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Hodink | March 25, 2005 5:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hodink:

"Here I thought this magazine was about people who died! Everybody in here is fat and alive."

39. Posted by Hodink | March 25, 2005 5:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 17:12

"Britney, it's your ass tha... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by cowboy blob | March 25, 2005 5:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
cowboy blob:

"Britney, it's your ass that makes your ass look big. Have a marshmallow peep."


40. Posted by cowboy blob | March 25, 2005 5:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 17:23

"What was it my mama said? ... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by KBiel | March 25, 2005 6:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
KBiel:

"What was it my mama said? Something like 'You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but...', something. What was it? Oh well, I think I'll have another diet coke and a twinky."

41. Posted by KBiel | March 25, 2005 6:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on March 25, 2005 18:11

"OK Kevin let's go over the... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by Daniel | March 25, 2005 8:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)