The Wisdom Of Pope Cliff (Wizbang)

Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger) explains the "buffalo theory" to his drinking buddy Norm (George Wendt):

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But, naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Media outlets confusing former Cheers star John Ratzenberger with newly elected Pope, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger [Google News]

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Comments (12)

I can say, without any s... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by The Commissar | April 19, 2005 4:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

The Commissar:

I can say, without any shred of sarcasm, that Cliff's statement is the best, most accurate summary of evolution that I have ever read on Wizbang!

Posted on April 19, 2005 16:34

I so <a href="http://www.in... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Mays | April 19, 2005 4:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Mays:

I so blogged on this like, 2 hours ago....

Posted on April 19, 2005 16:39

You know, Ratzenberger's "M... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Laurence Simon | April 19, 2005 4:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Laurence Simon:

You know, Ratzenberger's "Made In America" series is pretty neat.

Posted on April 19, 2005 16:43

Anyone caught onto the fact... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Andrew | April 19, 2005 5:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Andrew:

Anyone caught onto the fact that Nazi leader Adolf Hitler was born in Braunau-am-Inn, Austria, on this day in 1889. New German Pope elected today...Hmmm...

Posted on April 19, 2005 17:43

If media outlets are confus... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Dodo David | April 19, 2005 8:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Dodo David:

If media outlets are confusing John Ratzenberger with the newly elected Pope, then we know who is consuming beer and killing brain cells.

Posted on April 19, 2005 20:19

Thanks a lot, kevin...... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by steve sturm | April 19, 2005 9:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

steve sturm:

Thanks a lot, kevin...

I was grumbling that every time I hear of the new pope, my first reaction is "you mean the guy from Cheers? And just when I thought I could get past this, you post the picture of Pope Cliff....visual reinforcement is not what I needed. Now I'll never be able to disconnect the linkage of the two...

Posted on April 19, 2005 21:00

I should've known it would ... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by McGehee | April 19, 2005 9:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

McGehee:

I should've known it would be Cliffie, after I kept hearing that all the Cardinals were going in to con Klavin.

Posted on April 19, 2005 21:27

Well, in adding to the comp... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by -S- | April 19, 2005 10:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

-S-:

Well, in adding to the complexities, it is reported that Pope Benedict XVI has been known to drink -- and enjoy -- beer.

His last name begins with an "R" and Norm's last name begins with an "R".

They both laugh! And other people with last names that begin with an "R" also laugh!! I can barely stand the connections here.

Posted on April 19, 2005 22:30

"Norm" above (^^) should ha... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by -S- | April 19, 2005 10:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

"Norm" above (^^) should have been "Cliff."

I think there's a mysterious force at work that is confounding everyone. In fact, I am sure of it. Could be beer...no, it's a mysterious force!

Posted on April 19, 2005 22:33

Pope = Cliff?Take a ... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Dhali | April 20, 2005 8:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Dhali:

Pope = Cliff?
Take a long look at Cliff's face.
Pope = Cliff = Bolton?

Posted on April 20, 2005 08:04

i think i'll have a beer fo... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by sean | April 21, 2005 10:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

sean:

i think i'll have a beer for breakfast

Posted on April 21, 2005 10:56

<a href="http://www.saintma... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Steve | April 21, 2005 5:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Steve:

http://www.saintmarys.edu/~hideg/pics/popecliff1.jpg

Posted on April 21, 2005 17:13

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