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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin
Published: June 24, 2005 - 8:11 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld listens to a question during a Senate Armed Services Committee hearing on the U.S. military strategy in Iraq on Capitol Hill, June 23, 2005. (Larry Downing/Reuters)


Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced (follow link to find out who won). Comments to this post are now closed.

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Comments (159)

I knew I shouldn't have eat... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Smoke Eater | June 24, 2005 8:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Smoke Eater:

I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those prunes, when is this idiot going to shut up?

1. Posted by Smoke Eater | June 24, 2005 8:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:14

Excuse me I have to go take... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by heymike | June 24, 2005 8:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
heymike:

Excuse me I have to go take a Teddy!!

2. Posted by heymike | June 24, 2005 8:19 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:19

that's right Ted----f___... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by joe | June 24, 2005 8:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
joe:

that's right Ted----f____ you!!!!

3. Posted by joe | June 24, 2005 8:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:22

Awight, wife guyf, nobody l... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by fatman | June 24, 2005 8:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fatman:

Awight, wife guyf, nobody leavef 'til I get my teef back!

4. Posted by fatman | June 24, 2005 8:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:23

That #@&!## Rove, I was goi... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by JEW | June 24, 2005 8:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JEW:

That #@&!## Rove, I was going to use that line!

5. Posted by JEW | June 24, 2005 8:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:26

"Nuke 'em all, let God sort... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 24, 2005 8:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Nuke 'em all, let God sort 'em out."

6. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 24, 2005 8:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:27

Unfortunately, only an audi... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Sharp as a Marble | June 24, 2005 8:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sharp as a Marble:

Unfortunately, only an audio file would be appropriate for this one. But, for a low-tech solution, put your hand under your armpit and squeeze.

7. Posted by Sharp as a Marble | June 24, 2005 8:33 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:33

Hang on a second, Senator. ... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Jeff Harrell | June 24, 2005 8:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Harrell:

Hang on a second, Senator. I'm trying to make your head explode with my mind.

8. Posted by Jeff Harrell | June 24, 2005 8:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:41

" . . . I am smiling."</... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 24, 2005 8:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

" . . . I am smiling."

9. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 24, 2005 8:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:45

" . . . oil can . . . oi... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 24, 2005 8:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

" . . . oil can . . . oil can . . ."

10. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 24, 2005 8:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:48

Concentrate....deploy pyrok... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Brian J | June 24, 2005 8:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian J:

Concentrate....deploy pyrokinesis....focus on target....

11. Posted by Brian J | June 24, 2005 8:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:49

"I'm strong to the finish, ... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by McGehee | June 24, 2005 8:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

"I'm strong to the finish, 'cause I eats me spinach..."

12. Posted by McGehee | June 24, 2005 8:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:50

Dam it Ted I shoud kick you... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by kevin | June 24, 2005 8:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kevin:

Dam it Ted I shoud kick your f--king ass

13. Posted by kevin | June 24, 2005 8:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 08:59

Fat drunk and stupid is no ... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 24, 2005 9:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

Fat drunk and stupid is no way go through life, Senator

14. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 24, 2005 9:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:00

Don't call him a pompous as... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 24, 2005 9:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

Don't call him a pompous ass in public.

Don't call him a pompous ass in public.

Don't call him a pompous ass in public.

Don't call him a pompous ass in public.

15. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 24, 2005 9:01 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:01

What the fuck happened to t... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 24, 2005 9:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

What the fuck happened to the America I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Rummy, we might get in trouble."Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Durbin, he's a dead man! Harry Reed, dead! Kennedy...

16. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 24, 2005 9:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:04

At least no one has ever dr... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by Former Hostage | June 24, 2005 9:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Former Hostage:

At least no one has ever drowned on my watch. Which, come to think of it, is more than SOME politicians can say!

17. Posted by Former Hostage | June 24, 2005 9:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:06

Yeah, and Teddy let his wif... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Palmateer | June 24, 2005 9:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Palmateer:

Yeah, and Teddy let his wife drown in lots of cocktail glasses.

18. Posted by Palmateer | June 24, 2005 9:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:10

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrough!...... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Zsa Zsa | June 24, 2005 9:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Zsa Zsa:

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrough!...

19. Posted by Zsa Zsa | June 24, 2005 9:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:11

You wouldn't like me when I... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Brad Warbiany | June 24, 2005 9:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brad Warbiany:

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

20. Posted by Brad Warbiany | June 24, 2005 9:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:14

1) There's no crying in pol... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by lawhawk | June 24, 2005 9:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
lawhawk:

1) There's no crying in politics Dickie D.

Your buddy Teddy told me to resign and what did I do? I told him to go kiss my ass. That's right. Kiss my ass Teddy, that is if you can get away from your bottle long enough to shuffle on over and bend down.

2) I feel a disturbance in the Force. It is a presence I have not felt since....

3) Say what again. I dare you. I double dare you. Say what one more goddamned time mo-fo.

21. Posted by lawhawk | June 24, 2005 9:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:18

"F__K YOU! No matter what ... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by RHW | June 24, 2005 9:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
RHW:

"F__K YOU! No matter what the Supreme Court says you are not getting Guantanamo to build a Carribean Gambling Resort!"

22. Posted by RHW | June 24, 2005 9:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:20

Why does everybody think I'... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Paul | June 24, 2005 9:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Paul:

Why does everybody think I'm only the second biggest penis on earth?

23. Posted by Paul | June 24, 2005 9:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:23

I'M DON RUMSFELD, BITCHES.<... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by dooley | June 24, 2005 9:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
dooley:

I'M DON RUMSFELD, BITCHES.

24. Posted by dooley | June 24, 2005 9:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:25

Do you feel lucky, Teddy? W... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by htom | June 24, 2005 9:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
htom:

Do you feel lucky, Teddy? Well, do you?

25. Posted by htom | June 24, 2005 9:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:27

Oh GOD, how much longer can... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by pylorns | June 24, 2005 9:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
pylorns:

Oh GOD, how much longer can I hold this fart in?

26. Posted by pylorns | June 24, 2005 9:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:32

Dick R. to Dickless D.: "Fi... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by IreneFingIrene | June 24, 2005 9:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
IreneFingIrene:

Dick R. to Dickless D.: "Five minutes alone, buddy, five minutes alone!"

27. Posted by IreneFingIrene | June 24, 2005 9:35 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:35

1) Ted, it's war. It's not... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by FreakyBoy | June 24, 2005 9:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FreakyBoy:

1) Ted, it's war. It's not like we can just walk away from it, check in to a hotel, sleep it off, and hope our friends and relatives clean up the mess the next day.


2) You know, if you squint really hard, Ted's gin blossoms look like a fireworks display.

28. Posted by FreakyBoy | June 24, 2005 9:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:41

I can't believe it.....I sh... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by jeremy in NYC | June 24, 2005 9:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jeremy in NYC:

I can't believe it.....I shave off the facial hair, and nobody ever figures out that I'm really Colonel Sanders.

29. Posted by jeremy in NYC | June 24, 2005 9:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:46

God, give me and Mary Jo's ... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Karen | June 24, 2005 9:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Karen:

God, give me and Mary Jo's dad 5 minutes with Fat Teddy.

30. Posted by Karen | June 24, 2005 9:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:46

"If I were King of the fore... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Linda Tarricone | June 24, 2005 9:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Linda Tarricone:

"If I were King of the foresst!"

31. Posted by Linda Tarricone | June 24, 2005 9:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:48

Secretary of Defense Donald... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by Jack in TX | June 24, 2005 9:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jack in TX:

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld utilizes his on-board laser range-finder to ignite the ethanol haze surrounding Senator Edward Kennedy (D-Chappaquiddick)

32. Posted by Jack in TX | June 24, 2005 9:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:51

"To use a frame of referenc... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Jack in TX | June 24, 2005 9:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jack in TX:

"To use a frame of reference familiar to you Senator, the Vietnam War has been over for approximately 16,425 gallons of Scotch. It's time for you to move on...."

33. Posted by Jack in TX | June 24, 2005 9:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:55

Rarrr! I am the Rumsfeld S... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | June 24, 2005 9:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Medcalf:

Rarrr! I am the Rumsfeld Strangler, and I am going to strangle you!

34. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | June 24, 2005 9:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 09:55

The Secretary bites his ton... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by robert | June 24, 2005 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
robert:

The Secretary bites his tongue, avoids impulse to invite the Senator to GTMO for a "personal visit." Real sleepless torture, he knows, is being put in the same cell as Jeff Dahmer

35. Posted by robert | June 24, 2005 10:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 10:00

"Man, Hilliary would be hot... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by JAT0 | June 24, 2005 10:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAT0:

"Man, Hilliary would be hot in a pair of Big Dog boxers!"

36. Posted by JAT0 | June 24, 2005 10:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 10:03

in his best Beavis voice - ... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by zach | June 24, 2005 10:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
zach:

in his best Beavis voice - "I'm receiving a fax!"

37. Posted by zach | June 24, 2005 10:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 10:05

Rumsfeld attempts to launch... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Cliff | June 24, 2005 10:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cliff:

Rumsfeld attempts to launch an attach within "45 minutes or less" depof the order being given.

38. Posted by Cliff | June 24, 2005 10:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 10:17

Listen, Dick Turbin! Let's ... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Hangtown Bob | June 24, 2005 10:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hangtown Bob:

Listen, Dick Turbin! Let's step outside. Those are MY BOYS your're calling NAZIS!!!

39. Posted by Hangtown Bob | June 24, 2005 10:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 10:21

(AP) The lines between publ... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Brian | June 24, 2005 10:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian:

(AP) The lines between public and private celebrity blurred today as Donald Rumsfeld practices for his new "Preparation H" commercial.

40. Posted by Brian | June 24, 2005 10:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 10:28

I swear, it'll take two MOA... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Laurence Simon | June 24, 2005 10:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

I swear, it'll take two MOABs to take his ass out.

41. Posted by Laurence Simon | June 24, 2005 10:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 24, 2005 10:46

"Go ahead. Make my day, pu... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by April Dilli | June 24, 2005 10:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
April Dilli:

"Go ahead. Make my day, punk."

42. Posted by April Dilli | June 24, 2005 10:52 AM |