Evil thoughts inspired by the Roberts hearings (Wizbang)

As the day when the nigh-inevitable confirmation of John Roberts as our nation's Chief Justice, more and more speculation is swirling around who President Bush will nominate to take the Associate Justice seat being vacated by Sandra Day O'Connor. I've been giving it some thought, myself.

I'm no lawyer. I'm not even an amateur legal scholar. I have no real knowledge of our current "bench bench" of sitting judges, their merits and their flaws. So I'm going to look away from the judiciary for a worthy successor to Justice O'Connor -- and I think I have one.

To honor Justice O'Connor's historic role as the first woman on the High Court, my nominee is also a woman. She's also an accomplished lawyer, a graduate of Cornell and the University of Michigan Law School. She was a practicing lawyer for years, before becoming a legislative staffer -- even working for the very Judiciary Committee that she would face as a nominee.

And imagine the ratings for the live television coverage when Ted Kennedy, Joe Biden, Charles Schumer, and the like have to face Supreme Court Associate Justice Nominee Ann Coulter?

Once she's done savaging them, face-to-face, on national television, Bush could nominate Robert Bork, Pee Wee Herman, or even Richard Nixon's decaying corpse in her stead and they would fly through without a second glance.

Because if they don't approve this nominee, there's always Laura Ingraham waiting in the wings...

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Comments (16)

Damn, and I thought my sugg... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Ian Hamet | September 16, 2005 5:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Ian Hamet:

Damn, and I thought my suggestion of Karl Rove was the most evillest one possible.

I bow to your superior evilosity!

Posted on September 16, 2005 05:53

And instead of spending mon... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Lew Clark | September 16, 2005 6:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Lew Clark:

And instead of spending money on the hearings, you could make money. What would a ticket to see Ann Coulter savage Ted Kennedy go for?

Posted on September 16, 2005 06:22

Yes, just imagine the ratin... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Mike Cunningham | September 16, 2005 6:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Mike Cunningham:

Yes, just imagine the ratings for a show where Ted Keneddy was asked to explain his conduct and actions while standing on a bridge near Chappaquiddick all those years ago in http://anncoulter.com/cgi-local/article.cgi?article=73 if he asked the nominee to explain her judicial reasons for the withholding of attorney/client communications!

Posted on September 16, 2005 06:51

Genius! Pure genius!... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Jewels | September 16, 2005 7:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Jewels:

Genius! Pure genius!

Posted on September 16, 2005 07:14

Tickets , hell.Pay... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by fatman | September 16, 2005 7:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

fatman:

Tickets , hell.

Pay Per View!

Posted on September 16, 2005 07:17

fatman, she's also got the ... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Wanderlust | September 16, 2005 7:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Wanderlust:

fatman, she's also got the "pretty girl" photogenic thingy going for her...Senator D-Chivas won't have a chance.

Not to mention Pelosi and Boxer self-destructing on camera.

Hell yes, I'd pay to see that.

Posted on September 16, 2005 07:52

And I know she'd do the who... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by ICallMasICM | September 16, 2005 8:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

ICallMasICM:

And I know she'd do the whole lighting up and uncrossing her legs thing, during the tough questioning.

Posted on September 16, 2005 08:37

Let's throw Bork at them ag... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Bernard Higgins | September 16, 2005 8:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Bernard Higgins:

Let's throw Bork at them again.

Posted on September 16, 2005 08:43

I think fatman's right. PP... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Steve L. | September 16, 2005 9:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Steve L.:

I think fatman's right. PPV would bring in BIG money. Unfortunately, it would probably be like many regular PPV fights. The referee would have to stop the fight to keep Biden, Kennedy or Schumer from being hurt too badly.

Posted on September 16, 2005 09:07

I would seriously take time... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Alex | September 16, 2005 10:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Alex:

I would seriously take time off work to watch that confirmation hearing!

One question - will the spectators (and Democrat senators) be checked for hidden pies in addition to the regular weapons checks?

Posted on September 16, 2005 10:01

Ann Coulter, with her sharp... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by dchamil | September 16, 2005 10:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

dchamil:

Ann Coulter, with her sharp tongue and rapier wit to pop the gasbags -- what an inspired choice!

Posted on September 16, 2005 10:02

"Republican presidents need... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by SilverBubble | September 16, 2005 11:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

SilverBubble:

"Republican presidents need to start sending at least one Potemkin nominee to the Senate for confirmation hearings. If there were just one cabinet nominee willing to sacrifice his appointment for the opportunity to yell back at that adulterous drunk, Senator Teddy Kennedy might not be so cavalier before launching his premeditated vituperations...Heck, I'll volunteer for this mission myself -- if only for the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to say, on C-SPAN, "We'll drive off the side of that bridge when we come to it, Senator Kennedy." - Ann Coulter

I think she would jump at the chance.

Posted on September 16, 2005 11:42

An inspired idea! <p... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by Skeptic | September 16, 2005 2:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Skeptic:

An inspired idea!

Either Coulter or Ingraham would be worth skipping work to watch them eviscerate the gas bags in the Senate Judiciary Committee Room!

Actually just doing a roll call every time a question is asked right now would be hilarious.

Ann or Laura vs. gaseous, poser, intellectually challenged Senators-- entertainment in the Capital!

Posted on September 16, 2005 14:55

Jay Tea, that is PURE geniu... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Romeocat | September 16, 2005 8:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Romeocat:

Jay Tea, that is PURE genius!

I am fortunate to have the opportunity to see Ms. Coulter tomorrow night (17Sep) in Orlando. I am printing out a copy of this, and I hope and PRAY I will be able to give it to her.

I just about died laughing (evilly, of course) at the image of Kennedy, Schumer, and Biden attempting to deflect the sharp and accurate jabs of Ann's acid tongue.

Mmmmm!

-- R'cat

Posted on September 16, 2005 20:15

Romeocat, wishing you succe... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by BR | September 17, 2005 1:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

BR:

Romeocat, wishing you success in passing on your printout. Say hi from all her fans at Wizbang :)

(My guess is that she would not want to be tied down to a lifetime appointment... (yet) - but just the contemplation of such confirmation hearings is delicious!)

Posted on September 17, 2005 13:40

I thought you said you were... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by bill | September 17, 2005 9:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

bill:

I thought you said you were going to nominate a woman.

Posted on September 17, 2005 21:58

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