Wizbang: Dumb Criminals Archives

Life in Florida XXIII

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: March 14, 2009 · Comments (3)

Some news from around the Sunshine State Today's Darwin candidate- Man inured after using hammer on bullets East Side West Side- Former city manager who had sex change is a finalist for Lake Worth job. Going outside to play- Son pleasures himself in Mom's front yard How's that for change-... [Full Story]

Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)

Life in Florida XXII

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: March 12, 2009 · Comments (0)

More wild and crazy stuff from around the Sunshine State. What will you do for a Klondike bar?- Man with ice cream in pants offers store owner $69. Show and tell- 4-year-old brings marijuana to pre-school class. Attention seeker- Man sets himself on fire after wife says she wants a... [Full Story]

Rating: 3/5 (2 votes cast)

The Knuckleheads of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: March 12, 2009 · Comments (2)

Today's winners are Raymond S. Rhude and Ryan N. Smith. They get the award for the following- A man arrested with 17 pot plants in the bed of his pickup told police he was moving them to protect them from burglars who hit his house the night before. Ryan N.... [Full Story]

Rating: 1.5/5 (4 votes cast)

Escape plan

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: March 10, 2009 · Comments (3)

Meet Adam Hardeman A would-be burglar is in jail after he climbed through a hole in the roof of an Atlanta liquor store and then couldn't get back out. Police and the owner of Azar's Package Store found 29-year-old Adam Hardeman early Tuesday hiding in a store restroom with playing... [Full Story]

Rating: 3/5 (8 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: March 9, 2009 · Comments (5)

Today's winner is Harry Jackson. He gets the award for the following- Authorities say they arrested an escaped jail inmate trying to sneak back into the lockup with cigarettes allegedly stolen from a nearby store. Sheriff Tommy Gregory said Saturday that 25-year-old Harry Jackson had opened a door to the... [Full Story]

Rating: 1.9/5 (9 votes cast)

Life in Florida XXI

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: March 3, 2009 · Comments (2)

The weird, absurd, and even some good news from around the state of Florida. Is it November yet? Casey Anthony trial set for October. Thank you- Couple gives 21 million dollars to Cancer center Red Queen on Black King- Cop tries to read laptop while driving, crashes Will Justice be... [Full Story]

Rating: 2/5 (10 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: March 2, 2009 · Comments (3)

Today's winner is Julianne Johnson of Bradenton Florida. She gets the award for the following- A 44-year-old woman was arrested on theft and fraud charges after authorities say she stole credit card information to get breast implants and a hotel room for Valentine's Day. Julianne Johnson of Bradenton Florida was... [Full Story]

Rating: 3.2/5 (9 votes cast)

Fake, fake

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: February 28, 2009 · Comments (7)

Abuse of narcotics make people do the darndest things. A Johnson City man has been arrested after police said he used counterfeit money to purchase fake OxyContin pills from an undercover officer. Unicoi County Sheriff's deputies arrested 21-year-old Kyle Kochelek on Tuesday and charged him with criminal conspiracy with schedule... [Full Story]

Rating: 2/5 (2 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: February 27, 2009 · Comments (4)

Today's winner is Mark Rimkufski. He gets the award for attempting to impersonate a US Marshall in order to get on a plane at Miami airport. Mr. Rimkufski must have been having a bad day and or was very stupid. For he He said he was a US Marshall but... [Full Story]

Rating: 4.5/5 (4 votes cast)

Life in Florida XX

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: February 25, 2009 · Comments (0)

More wild and crazy stuff from around the Sunshine State Room with a view- Couple finds hotel room peephole reversed. Nightmare of the Iguana- City of Manalapan Commissioners concern themselves with four lizards. Headline of the day- Boy's Shooter probably errored. Does the Tampa Tribune then think the shooting was... [Full Story]

Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)

Self locking

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: February 24, 2009 · Comments (0)

If the following article had only named the thief, I would have given him a Knucklehead award. A THIEF has bungled an attempt to break in to a car in Adelaide, locking himself inside the vehicle as police arrived. Police said the man was one of two caught early this... [Full Story]

Rating: 2.6/5 (5 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: February 19, 2009 · Comments (7)

Today's winner is Robert Pittman. He gets the award for the following- A burglary suspect attempting to run from the law early this morning was brought to justice, in part, by a pair of sagging trousers, sheriff's deputies said. At about midnight Tuesday an Escambia County Sheriff's deputy responded to... [Full Story]

Rating: 3.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Cheap cuts

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: February 18, 2009 · Comments (3)

Apparently this robber never heard the saying 'If you're going to steal, steal big.' Police have released surveillance camera images of a man they say swung a knife as he tried to steal two packages of steaks and a package of pork chops from a supermarket last Thursday. A loss-prevention... [Full Story]

Rating: 4/5 (4 votes cast)

The Knuckleheads of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: February 15, 2009 · Comments (6)

Today's winners are Marianna Louisa Kittila and Brianna Lynne Tatom. They get the award for the following- Police arrested two women on suspicion of unlawful imprisonment Friday, Feb. 6, after they allegedly kidnapped a 28-year-old woman from the Meridian Street Wal-Mart and dropped her off at a U.S. Border Patrol... [Full Story]

Rating: 5/5 (7 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: February 12, 2009 · Comments (1)

Today's winner is Eric Hampton. He gets the award for the following- A man wielding a 12-inch Bowie knife robbed a gas station -- but apparently forgot to fill up his getaway car, authorities say. Suspect David Eric Hampton ran out of gas and was arrested several hours later, the... [Full Story]

Rating: 3.9/5 (7 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: January 10, 2009 · Comments (5)

Today's winner is Feliks Goldshtein. He gets the award for the following- A man may have tipped his intentions when he stood in line at an Ohio bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup. Police in Stow near Akron say 24-year-old Feliks Goldshtein of Highland Heights was arrested... [Full Story]

Rating: 5/5 (4 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: January 8, 2009 · Comments (1)

Today's winner is Erica Kaye McNally. She gets the award for the following- A Nebraska woman was arrested Monday for shoplifting a keychain from The Empire Mall after she faked birth pains, police spokesman Sam Clemens said. When officers arrived at the mall shortly after 2 p.m., Erica Kaye McNally,... [Full Story]

Rating: 4.6/5 (5 votes cast)

$3 billion tax refund

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: December 12, 2008 · Comments (6)

Did this guy itemize? Nearly $3 billion. That's the tax refund requested this year by a convicted armed robber in Pompano Beach, according to a federal indictment. Prosecutors say Willie Bernard Cameron, 41, filed three bogus IRS 1040 tax returns in May claiming he was owed refunds of $52,918.97, $360,000... [Full Story]

Rating: 5/5 (6 votes cast)

Cough them up

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: December 2, 2008 · Comments (8)

The measures crooks in Florida take to hide evidence. An X-ray marked the spot for southwest Florida police who say a teenager swallowed a $16 pair of earrings after taking them from a JCPenney store at a mall. Authorities say William Colburn faces charges that include retail theft and tampering... [Full Story]

Rating: 3.8/5 (6 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: December 1, 2008 · Comments (1)

Today's winner is Jerome Haggins. He gets the award for the following- A Tampa man suspected of armed robbery apparently forgot that the key to a successful armed robbery is hanging on to the gun. Police say 42-year-old Jerome Haggins, armed with a pistol, entered a Tampa home Saturday night,... [Full Story]

Rating: 5/5 (5 votes cast)

To Catch a thief

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: November 27, 2008 · Comments (2)

A billboard company in New Zealand is taking an interesting approach. WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A thief caught on camera stealing expensive equipment picked the wrong target if wanted to keep a low profile: a billboard company that has plastered his image around New Zealand's largest city seeking his capture.... [Full Story]

Rating: 5/5 (3 votes cast)

Double Whammy

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: November 26, 2008 · Comments (2)

This guy is a true masochist. SANTA FE, N.M. - A 21-year-old man was accused of driving drunk and leading police on a chase that finally ended with him running over himself. The man was treated for minor injuries at a Santa Fe hospital and booked in to the Sandoval... [Full Story]

Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)

To the golf cart Robin

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: November 25, 2008 · Comments (4)

This 48-year-old must not be very fleet of foot. A suspected robber wearing underwear on his head to hide his identity was chased down Monday afternoon by customers in a golf cart outside a South Salt Lake pro shop, police said. The 48-year-old is suspected of approaching a clerk at... [Full Story]

Rating: 4/5 (6 votes cast)

Surf and Turf

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: November 19, 2008 · Comments (3)

Florida style of course. A Stuart man who tried to steal porterhouse steaks and shrimp from Publix grocery store had to be detained by store employees Monday afternoon, according to a report released by Martin County Sheriff's Office Tuesday. According to the report, Eugene Jarrett Metts, 35, was confronted by... [Full Story]

Rating: 5/5 (3 votes cast)

The Knucklehead of the Day award

Posted by Bill Jempty · Published: November 14, 2008 · Comments (0)

Today's winner is Joseph Goetz of Windsor Township. He gets the award for the following- A miffed bank robber vowed to file a complaint after finding the cash drawers empty at a Springettsbury Township bank that had just opened Thursday morning. As he ran from the Susquehanna Bank branch office... [Full Story]

Rating: 5/5 (4 votes cast)

Dumb Criminals Archives

March 14, 2009

March 12, 2009

March 10, 2009

March 9, 2009

March 3, 2009

March 2, 2009

February 28, 2009

February 27, 2009

February 25, 2009

February 24, 2009

February 19, 2009

February 18, 2009

February 15, 2009

February 12, 2009

January 10, 2009

January 8, 2009

December 12, 2008

December 2, 2008

December 1, 2008

November 27, 2008

November 26, 2008

November 25, 2008

November 19, 2008

November 14, 2008

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