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Bonfire of the Vanities - Week 11

The Bonfire of the Vanities returns as ferouciously bad as the latest Madonna incarnation. The motto this week is "I'll Take Really Bad Ideas For $600, Alex". All of this weeks entries have been gladdy offered up to the raging inferno that is the Bonfire...

Bonfire of the Vanities

If you want to be reminded to enter the Bonfire each week via e-mail, subscribe to the Bonfire mailing list. If you are still wondering how the Eagles could be 0-2, the list may help but you might not like the answers.

On with the oink-fest...

Leading The Thirsty To A Sand Oasis
  • Elliot tells a Palestinian joke that's somehow manages to offend no one. Style points for poor taste were awarded by the judges. Apparently the French judge agreed to laugh at the joke in exchange for Russian support on the Mohammed Atta joke.
  • Jon attempts a risky maneuver by connecting Girls Gone Wild with Shakespeare. No one has ever successfully pulled of this difficult combo move, and Jon maintains the blogosphere's winless streak...
  • Blackfive attempts to pick between the bad (Cubs) and worse (White Sox). Wisely he avoids placing anything besides his sobriety on the line, lest something like this happen.
  • She got an Instalanche? She must have S&M bondage pictures of Glenn or something.
  • In a worthwhile cause (championing Warren Zevon for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame) Laurence suggests that the nominating committee be hunted like pigs. No word on where the now missing last paragraph went. You missed that last paragraph? As I recall there was a detailed description of the hunt, and the cleaning and gutting of the prey.
  • Sean attempts to mollify the gods of the Bonfire with pitiful self sacrifice. The gods were angered until they realized that the requirement that the sacrificed be a virgin was still meet.
  • Phelps unfortunately disappeared just after submitting his showcase vote. There's probably no truth to the rumor that was put through a wood chipper and served in a frosted smoothie cup. <<Burp!>>
  • Romulus couldn't quite bring himself to come up with a suck ass post. Instead he offers this. Let's not get in the habit of Good Samaritan-ness, this is the blogoshpere after all.
  • Pete commits the cardinal sin in Blog War (other than taking it seriously); he prematurely gloats. They've got treatments for that premature situation now…
  • Elliot again with the bad jokes? This time he tries to explain it. Oh the humanity…
  • Adam rests on his laurels, again.
  • Kate finally finds a Bonfire worthy post! Readers are advised to hold the snickering to a low roar so as not to alarm "ear hair boy" in the next cubicle. Anyway a thorough analysis of this post reveals that Kate is oddly attracted to German tourists sporting marble baggers (aka banana hammocks), her protests notwithstanding.
  • Harvey details everyone's nightmare. Harvey I was under the impression that the courts sealed those records, why bring it up again?
  • Owen goes for the cheap laugh. The gods of the Bonfire are amused, Kate's new German "friend" is not…
  • Tiger tries to impress the ladies. Next time, try the black socks and speedo routine it will at least get you noticed What, that WAS you? Nevermind...
  • I offer up this post where I troll to get in on an online chat with Hillary Clinton. I hereby retire my fundraising quest, it was a stupid idea anyway. However, if anyone wants to donate the Club Jenna membership or even the Ron Palillo phone call I'm up for it...

Want To Join?
E-mail me a link to your worst post of the week and include any extenuating circumstance, humorous commentary, or self serving excuse for your pathetic post. Get your entries for next week's edition to me via e-mail by midnight EST Monday September 22th. Please use BOTV 12 Entry in the subject line. Need a reminder? Subscribe to the mailing list.


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Comments (1)

And I'll show you those pic... (Below threshold)

And I'll show you those pictures for $600, Kevin...




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