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Bonfire of the Vanities - Week 12

My demented labor of love The Bonfire of the Vanities returns to bash you over the head with the worst the the blogosphere has to offer. The motto this week is "How To Tell You've Got Too Much Time On Your Hands." This weeks entries prove that you should never hit the Canel button when making a post. All of this weeks entries have been gladdy offered up to the raging inferno that is the Bonfire...

Bonfire of the Vanities

If you want to be reminded to enter the Bonfire each week via e-mail, subscribe to the Bonfire mailing list. If you want to send e-mail to Glenn Reynolds for the love of God; please, please, please leave my name out of all correspondence bound for Glenn Reynolds. Contrary to what the voices in your head may be whispering to you - I did not tell you to send a message to InstaPundit. Frank J, on the other hand, did.

On with the "Very Special Episode of the Bonfire"...

Blowing Hurricane Force Methane Into The Blogosphere
  • Harvey reveals that his wife is the real talent behind Bad Money. Like a twisted stage mother he keeps hoisting her out onto the Bonfire stage.
  • Paige chastises visitors looking for porn. HE is obviously new at the blogging game, how do you think I get all my hits?
  • Susie whores out the Bonfire for another contest.
  • King of Fools lives up to his moniker. Perhaps that should be Knig of Folos?
  • Margi vividly illustrates the lamest meme from last week.
  • Doc Rock sent me a link to edit her Bonfire submission, which even though it was a unique entry didn't exactly make for interesting Bonfire reading. One word: Permalink. I'll go out on a limb here and guess that the bleeding handyman story was what she meant to send. Of course it could have been part II of the bleeding handyman story.
  • Heather (aka Helen without vowels) discovers that Frank J's Ethel nickname may be more accurate than we ever knew.
  • Jen has a candid admission about her preference in *cough* size. Small handed men have formed a line that wraps around the building at this point.
  • McGehee thinks ABC killing off the John Ritter character may not work. What he fails to note is the "big surprise". The hot daughter, so overcome by grief, takes a job as a lap dancer. Hilarity and ratings ensure.
  • Phelps mocks the giver of Instalanches. Apparently no one ever explained to Phelps that the BlogFather nickname is not just another of the many names Glenn goes by. You think he got all that traffic by accident? That new stadium the Titans play in isn't known as the Tennessee Meadowlands for nothing…
  • Pete notes the loss of his virginity. By the way, The Smarter Cop is moving, I've wisely linked to the new non BlogSpot site.
  • Adam can't find a decent cup of coffee in Atlanta. He did however run into a dish. Adam - I though Goody's was the hangover medication of choice in the South.
  • Owen shows his fine public school education at work in counting to 1000. Pay extra close attention to the archive numbering in the URL (1005), and the title of the previous post ("1000"). The blog is called Boots and Sabers not Penny Loafers and Slide Rules so cut him a little slack.
  • Tim regales Bonfire readers with toe nail clippings. Is the stink coming from the post or the toe nails? Not really sure…
  • Jeff explains why he will be getting the Brady Bunch Astroturf yard installed any day now. Lazy is as lazy does, or something like that…
  • Bryan deep in a drunken lovefest with all things Miss America posts a stunning self portrait. Remember how they told you your palms would grow hair? They forgot to mention this other under reported side effect.
  • David (Zombyboy) looks away from the Girls Gone Wild retrospective long enough to note the relavance of the Pageant as well.
  • Brian is under the delusion that Glenn examines his referrer logs 24/7 and would actually be watching for the nanosecond that his site appears. As others have proven, mercilessly bashing Frank J is a much sounder strategy.
  • Jay appears in the Knoxville News Sentinel newspaper. All blogging ceases as he charters a plane to Knoxville and buys 1000 copies of the print edition. I guess we all know what we're getting for birthday presents now…
  • The Indymedia voodoo dolls finally work. Michele is forced to act out all their twisted forms of ASV torture. It's like a train wreck, only bloggy-er.
  • I offer up this post where I note the existance of Nair for Men. Obviously I was just pissed that Costco isn't carrying it yet so I can get a 3 month supply. I wonder if it works on ears?

Want To Join?
E-mail me a link to your worst post of the week and include any extenuating circumstance, humorous commentary, or self serving excuse for your pathetic post. Get your entries for next week's edition to me via e-mail by midnight EST Monday September 29th. Please use BOTV 13 Entry in the subject line. Need a reminder? Subscribe to the mailing list.


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Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Bonfire of the Vanities - Week 12:

» A Single Guy In The South linked with Tu necessitas Bonfire!

» Stranger in a Strange Land linked with Burn, burn, burn

» OUTSIDE THE BELTWAY linked with BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES

» resurrectionsong linked with The Humanity!

» Notorious B.L.O.G. linked with Tuesday Means Bonfire!

» Jennifer's History and Stuff linked with Title

» swirlspice linked with Feed the Flames

» Sanity's-Edge linked with The Bonfire

» One Fine Jay linked with Bonfire, week 12

» The SmarterCop linked with OOF! UGH! EEW!

» Electric Venom linked with The Letter Of The Day Is I

» Boots and Sabers linked with BOTV Is Up

» blogoSFERICS linked with I Believe in Miercoles

» The Accidental Jedi linked with Announcements

» The Everlasting Phelps linked with Bonfire of the Vanities

» The American Mind linked with Can Now Focus, Focus, Focus

» angelweave linked with Writing? Not Tonight. Didn't put

Comments (8)

For some reason, none of yo... (Below threshold)
hln:

For some reason, none of your Blogger blogs have links that work.

hln

hlh - Blogspot is having a ... (Below threshold)
Jim:

hlh - Blogspot is having a cardiac event right at the moment. Only the front pages of the blogs are being served (no archives). Try again later.

I just noticed that as well... (Below threshold)

I just noticed that as well. I tested all of those links last night and they worked fine. I'll add a link to the front page of those blogs, but that kind of defeats the purpose of going to the post in question.

Ahhh! Thank you - just anot... (Below threshold)
hln:

Ahhh! Thank you - just another day in blogspot land. Can we just feature all of blogspot in next week's Bonfire?

hln

Blogspot's having problems?... (Below threshold)

Blogspot's having problems? That's odd...

Kevin - DAMN you for the ear hair mental picture. If you'll excuse me, I have to poke my brain with a Q-tip until the image recedes.

I demand a public apology a... (Below threshold)

I demand a public apology and correction. Your words "Paige chastises visitors looking for porn. She ..." need to be changed immediately to "Paige chastises visitors looking for porn. He ..." Thanks. ;-)

Muchas gracías!... (Below threshold)

Muchas gracías!

Wow, I thought he made a mi... (Below threshold)

Wow, I thought he made a mistake when he wrote He when referring to Paige as I have known a few females named Paige, but never any males named Paige. I guess I was so busy last night trying to get my blog working again, I forgot to send anything in and I had several that needed to be burned, I think, last week. Oh well, que sera, sera.*

*Did you know I could not for the life of me remember how to spell the first word of that last night?**

**Oh, by the way, I wish everyone had those text formatting buttons on the bottom of their commenting boxes. ;)




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