The Bonfire of the Vanities returns for the unlucky 13th edition. It's no coincidence that the 13th edition of the Bonfire burns as the hopes and dreams of Cubs and Red Sox fans crest. This weeks Bonfire is a harmonic convergance of futility. The motto this week is "All Futility, All The Time." All of this weeks entries have been gladdy offered up to the raging inferno that is the Bonfire...

If you want to be reminded to enter the Bonfire each week via e-mail, subscribe to the Bonfire mailing list. If you would like to be notified when the Cubs win a playoff series there's no need to sign up, since that hasn't happened since 1919, why would this year be any different. The Bonfire has it on good authority that the ghosts of Leon Durham will appear again this year...

Time for the Bonfire to play ball...

• Harvey thinks that puppy blending is an original topic. I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time...
• Sean mocks the listing of the worst jobs in Science. How often do you see masturbating and farting in a post and not laugh? Sorry to inform you this is one of those times.
• McGehee notes an interesting topic caught by his e-mail filter. Some Google search terms are not worth fighting over, I think we’ll leave that one for him.
• Fritz details the new method de jour of tourture for hirsuite Al Qaeda terrorist: an Epilady. Probably only funny if you suffer from Alopecia Universalis.
• Bryan couldn’t quite bring his “A” game to a post about clichés (Warning BlogSpot permalinks are working as good as usual – Go to the last post on 9/28/03 – if you must).
• Serenity is a party animal! No mention in either post of how much the squirel had been drinking. Pity, the Bonfire has never had a drunk squirel story.



• Phelps is famous! More accurately his dirty underwear are famous. Mom would be so proud, NOT!
• Jason is cornering the market on 4 year old blog readers. I sense a TV deal in his future...
• Mog notes that the Icelandic Phallological Museum is looking for a whale and a male member. He claims to have casually run accross the site via Technorati. Sure, sure...
• Tanya shamelessy blegs for comments to no avail. Did I mention she used to be a stripper? That ought to light up the comment section.
• Former toe porn queen Margi proves just how horribly boring her life REALLY is. What a shame...
• Jim is worried that his wife and kids love for a new supersize dog will endanger the standing of the current canine. If she can teach that new dog to babysit Jim should be worried for himself...
• Pete tempts fate by daring to believe in the Red Soxes. Look how well that has worked for others in the past...
• King of Fools plays the Ghost Of Playoff Series Future to show Cubs and Red Sox fans their future.
• Speaking of alcohol, Blackfive needs to devote a whole week to the topic. Worse yet is that he had to borrow a cookbook recipie from a Kathy Lee wannabe to make a martini!
• Deb faces the Bonfire conundrum of the chicken and the egg problem (which came first) with a post about why she wrote a sucky posts. Which one to torch on the Bonfire, the original or the post that calls out the original? You be the judge.
• Heather is leaving Blogger. Unfortunatly for single male Bonfire readers she appears to be staying with her husband. Here's the first post at the new site.
• Owen is making fun of other bloggers! The gods of the Bonfire are not ammused by an entry mocking another site that DOES NOT CONTAIN A LINK TO THE SITE BEING MOCKED. It's the blogging equivalent to a "you had to be there" joke. Well we weren't there...
• I offer up this post where I whine about my laptop dying and my cable modem service being out. Like you care...

Update: Susie offers this lame excuss for her tardieness: My car wouldn't start. I had a flat tire. There was a fire...an earthquake...a terrible flood...

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