The Bonfire of the Vanities returns jacked up on the little blue pills and ready to chill with Hef at the Mansion. Mr. Bonfire was in town to lay down the smack with the ol' daddy mac and pimp out my Blog Pix Chicks. For some reason 'ol saggy nuts wants scratch from yours truly instead of the other way around; talk about dissin mah ho's!!! Never you worry fine sisters, Mr. Bonfire left Hef a little present in his martini... Let's just say that Hef will be announcing his presence around corners for the next week or so...

The motto this week is "Me So Horny, Me Love You Long Time!." This weeks entries prove that bloggers ain't much for shizzlin' the nizzle if you know what I mean. All of this weeks entries are going to burn like a mo fo.

If you want to be reminded to enter the Bonfire each week via e-mail, subscribe to the Bonfire mailing list. All the party people in the house, can I get a, "Hell yeah!"

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire...

Andrew has the scoop on Zionist Penis Snatchers, which is as Bonfire worthy a title as there ever was. Oddly he makes no mention of the equally hilarious Muslim Bone Smugglers…
Orgre is new to the Bonfire, and shares with us a frightening vision of the youth of America in his I only had one class tonight post (scroll down a bit, no permalinks yet). We have an exclusive quote from the young lady in reference to Andrew's post: Oh maw gawd, that totally reminds me of the time we had a Rainbow party.
The BoiFromTroy has a blonde moment, where he forgot that using webcams as a reporting tool is never wise, especially when you accidentally post the URL to your favorite man on man webcam.
McGehee wishes to assure Bonfire readers that the misses is NOT in the Orgre's class.
Susie is celebrating here 500th post with a gratuitous boob shot, which is mysteriously gone… Not to worry, this is what you missed:

LittleA keeps the dirty talk going, I think… We're waiting on photographic evidence of the last time he got "tarted up".
Heather has some advice for women who get flashed, snatch their zionist penis.
Thank god Harvey is married, because his technique is retro 70's (not in a good way).
Mark ponders the sexual aspects of spyware. After two months of blogging his well has run dry, so to speak…
Jennifer is working up a good fantasy about the glistening military volleyball players in Top Gun. Ladies, smoke 'em if you've got 'em…
Patrick breaks the streak of sex posts with his word of the day. Sure it's fun to say Babaganoush, but I think we would all be interesting in Mom's recipe for another Indian word: Kama Sutra.
Brian has salient advice for binge drinkers. Cautionary note: Diversity does not apply to 2:00AM companionship. There is a reason someone came up with the term beer goggles.
Matthew is trying to lure porn *ahem* readers. Something tells me Kate's not going to be too pleased with her company in that post. The Bonfire endeavors to help those have been wronged, so visit Electric Venom for hot steaming naked man pictures of Matthew J. Stinson, did we mention that Matthew J. Stinson strips buck ass naked for you? Google That!
Religious Bobblehead Dolls? Poor Sean, Wisconsin winters can get SOOOO LONELY. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Chris needs to lay off the Internet porn and get out and visit the real world more often.
Rammer shares some kitty bukkake. It's not actually bukkake, we just love that word. No, believe it or not, it's much grosser than bukkake…
J.P. Carter checks in with picture of male cats after a kitty bukkake session. With Glenn Reynolds? Now that's a filthy lie…
The King of Fools mocks self inflicted discomfort as a medical condition. The not so subtly hidden subtext is masochism and/or auto erotic asphyxiation.
This must be make Kate your LINK whore week in the blogosphere. The wanna be pimp daddies include Adam in his Sunday best…
Pete loves Europe, specifically the red light district in Copenhagen, and old naked guys.
Nathan takes time out of his busy porn spamming activities to post about his technical prowess.
Fritz has the requisite Metrosexual Bonfire entry. This just in.. Howard Dean comes out in favor of bukkake…
Anastasia wonders, "should I, or shouldn't I?" Her male readers urge her on, while the females advise against it…
Owen wonders if chicks dig guys with mean crumb catchers handlebar mustaches? Ladies?
I offer up this less than stellar effort where I wonder if Meryl Yourish is actually a man. She answers by going topless, doh!

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E-mail a link to your worst post of the week and include any extenuating circumstance, humorous commentary, or self serving excuse for your pathetic post. Get your entries for next week's edition to me via e-mail to bonfire at wizbangblog dot com by 8 PM EDT Monday November 10th. Need a reminder? Subscribe to the mailing list.