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"State Of" Speeches Are Like Porn Because...

  • It's scripted, but supposed to look natural.
  • There are "O" 's at all the expected spots.
  • Most of the "O" 's are fake.
  • At least half the people involved in the "O" 's, if shown in close up, look bored.
  • It's hard to watch from beginning to end, but when viewed in small chucks it's occasionally interesting.
  • The minority party ends up taking in in the rear.
  • Cunning linguistics can enliven a monotonous, formulatic occasion.
  • A master debater rarely gets a chance to showcase those talents.

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