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Why Your Community Site Must Die

Note: This entry is not going to make sense until you read (or at least skim) this post at Kuro5hin.

In the past, being part of a BBS system was an interesting pastime. Now, with the advent of ridiculously popular packages like phpNuke and Mojo, the Web is in risk of drowning under a tidal wave of moronic 'community sites' who have no purpose other than stroking the ego of their creators gathering geeks for a giant circle jerk.

You are all pretentious twats
Every last one of you. You're all Jolt guzzling, Linux-using, city dwelling, unemployed slackers who offer absolutely no new insights on anything whatsoever apart from maybe one specialist field if we're lucky. Most of you think that you're participating in unique communities that will change history (See Deanspace) just because it's the hip thing to do. You think you know all there is to say about forums because you understand the concept of group moderation and user levels. The horrible truth is all portal communities look basically the same. When I see the familiar forum structure of phpBB I run for the hills.

You make up irritating jargon for the sake of it
The word 'community' is acceptable. 'forum' is just about tolerable. Any term that you invent that ends in the following should be stricken from the web:

-space
-mania
-ite

All of your communities talk about the same crap
Some people use Linux, but having 20,000 Slashdots about a the joys of a do it yourself OS is absolutely useless. See, the vast majority of all 'communities' are about technology (although most exclude Microsoft). Some sites evolve into other topics, but even those are not very interesting. Other topics include:

Open source software
How the community should operate
Microsoft sucks
Linux rules
Etc.

You visit one Kuro5hin you've seen 'em all.

You are fucking stupid
The idiocy of Kuro5hin and Slashdot is most evident when you realize that anyone can participate. When sites allow for anonymity the members tend to make all kinds of gratuitous assertions and vile invective. Since everyone is anonymous, everyone feels free to be complete assholes.

You are all sheep
If you had an original thought you would have a blog.

Your site dreams of being on Google
Half of the conversations on phpNuke boards are on how to get Google to recognize the forum threads. Face it - Google is not interested.

In conclusion
Close your shit up.

/end satire
/end sarcasm

Kuro5hin screed originally seen at Solonor and Go Fish.

Update: The Commissar says, "Pretentious twats of the world unite!" In case you weren't keeping track, that would be bloggers.


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Comments (25)

And the tear in the cosmos ... (Below threshold)

And the tear in the cosmos gets bigger...

To steal another thought from one of the K5 commenters: "It must be posts like this that acronyms like ROTFLMAO were created to answer in eight simple characters."

Slashdot has some interesti... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Slashdot has some interesting features that if used allow the site to become much more useable.
One is the moderation system, that quickly, for the most part, designates crap as crap. The other is a filtering system that allows you to filter on values for categories based on the moderation. One of the 'false' positive ratings is based on a post being funny. setting up the filters to lower values on crap posts and funny posts you can quickly see the 2-3 valuable posts per subject.

;)

Ha! VERY nice! Having rea... (Below threshold)

Ha! VERY nice! Having read "that post" this doubled me over in laughter.

+1 :-P

Kevin, you are the man! I ... (Below threshold)

Kevin, you are the man! I had a basic Linux question and found my way to one of those "Linux communities". Being ignorant to these sites, I posted my question (concerning virtual directories). These muthaf*****g geeks jumped all over me calling me dumb, lost, Microsoft slappy, etc. Now, I'm a former gang member. And taking crap for THOSE TYPES is unacceptable. So I laid some well-placed urban, street gang language down, and some well-placed disses and one guy said he was going to get the FBI on me.

heh heh heh...

Whateva!

Brilliant.... (Below threshold)

Brilliant.

Hmm that was a sad post. I ... (Below threshold)
muyuubyou:

Hmm that was a sad post. I am a k5 member and this is what I think about all this:

- I don't think I like a single "weblog" and I've tried a whole lot. For some reason, people repeat the same things all over again. I have to agree in this with the k5 poster. I don't read blogs but I certainly don't have a problem with them.

- It was childish of you to reply k5 the way you did. If you actually read the comments, a big portion (probably a majority of the community) disagreed with the post.

- Movable Type is badly designed from the programming standpoint. That's my professional opinion.

- Trackback does mangle Google, but Google will have to adapt to it. Google will have to adapt to any human behavior, either stupid or intelligent - doesn't matter. I think blogs generally get too high in Google. I'd love an "ignore blogs" option.

- Communities aren't elitist or pretentious in general. They're democratic. Sometimes they degenerate in mobs when anonymity rears it's ugly head, but moderation helps and you get to know who to read and who to ignore.

- Statistically, communities diverge much more than weblogs. There are not so many big communities, and small communities "behave" 90% like weblogs. Weblogs talk about more or less the same shit communities do. Just check k5 - politics, software, Open Source ... same as in thousands of weblogs, but usually better because it's a team work.

- Most popular communities are made by professional programmers who actually designed their own engine. phpNuke communities are small compared to slashdot or Kuro5hin. Most community software (like phpNuke as you mentioned) can be configured as weblog software as well.

- anonymity is all over the internet. That includes communities and weblogs. You can make close systems out of both - they already exist, but for obvious reasons they're not so popular.

- When I have an original thought (typo in your article) I usually don't need to broadcast it. If I do, then I set up my own site. There's nothing bad in weblog software (especially if you don't know how to program your site or you just don't want to make the effort) but in general their features are abused. People post way too much and self-contemplation is mainstream in the "blog world".

- If I was your friend, I'd probably be interested in your personal stuff - like how many states have you visited etc... Probably there's something important in this site; I just couldn't find it. Not that I need you or you need me anyway. I expect a lower noise ratio (according to my interests and tastes) when I visit a site. When the site is about something in particular, it helps heaps.

- I know your post is "sarcasm" but I think you tried to make a point. Otherwise, what's the point ;) in posting it in the first place?

- I strongly recommend you to secure your site. MT is weak. I can imagine three different ways to bring a MT site down with their current patches and I have dedicated about 20 minutes to browse last revision's code. I just don't feel like it but there are always hateful script kiddies out there. Keep backups at least.

Peace and good luck.

I'll pay five bucks to anyo... (Below threshold)

I'll pay five bucks to anyone who can summarize the above comment for me in 8 letters.

Nice post, Kev.

Meryl wanted 8 letters to s... (Below threshold)

Meryl wanted 8 letters to summarize the comment before hers, so...

D - (Don't think or read blogs)
I - (I have professional opinions, i.e. someone gives me money in spite of my antisocial nature)
P - (Pros like me would write better blog software)
S -(some Statistics I pulled directly from my ass)
H -(I Have few original thoughts, and keep them to myself. That way the police don't come visit again)
I - (not Interested in personal, Human stuff)
T (I Think I know what "sarcasm means [ed. You do not])
S - (Secure your site or my fellow pros will come vandalize you)

Very good Jerry!... (Below threshold)

Very good Jerry!

My K5 article seems to have... (Below threshold)

My K5 article seems to have got you people down to a T. Nice and self-congratulatory. It warms my heart.

"If you had an o... (Below threshold)
"If you had an original thought you would have a blog."

I gotta remember not to read people's blogs while drinking in future! LOL! That's the funniest thing I've seen all week!

You might be taken more ser... (Below threshold)

You might be taken more seriously if you actually recognised that there are a lot of elements of truth to the rant. Yes, it's a rant, but it's a well written one and a lot more coherent than any of you blogtards have been.

Interesting: I just came a... (Below threshold)

Interesting: I just came across this Farc comment thread that quoted, in its entirety, a rather long post I wrote this morning. Rather odd.

My comments were sincere an... (Below threshold)
muyuubyou:

My comments were sincere and respectful and I got the kind of response I expected. Pffft. I will leave the insulting to you.

BTW it wasn't that long.

Farewell

Smug blogosphere triumphali... (Below threshold)

Smug blogosphere triumphalism is just as obnoxious as smug webboard triumphalism.

"You are f*****g stupid<br ... (Below threshold)
Steve:

"You are f*****g stupid
The idiocy of Kuro5hin and Slashdot is most evident when you realize that anyone can participate. When sites allow for anonymity the members tend to make all kinds of gratuitous assertions and vile invective. Since everyone is anonymous, everyone feels free to be complete assholes."

Kevin, do you realize that statement applies just as easily to the blogosphere? Just sub out K5 and /. and replace with LGF and CalPundit or some such. Frankly, I'd assumed you were more intelligent than this. The genius of both these boards and the blogosphere is that they allow anyone to participate. Are there a lot of idiots? Yep. There are also a lot of idiots blogging. At least K5 and /. have mechanisms to sort the idiots out.

"You are all sheepIf... (Below threshold)
Steve:

"You are all sheep
If you had an original thought you would have a blog."

Darnit. I just reread your post and actually paid attention to that line. It's so amazing that I can only assume IHBT. I bow to your trolling skills, sir. IHL. HAND.

Steve - Perhaps I should en... (Below threshold)

Steve - Perhaps I should enclose the whole thing in giant SATIRE tags. It only make sense when the K5 post is read first. That piece was worthy of a Fisking, but honestly that would have taken too long and been completely unproductive.

I've got nothing against any of the Slashdots and K5's of the world. The whole thing was juvenile mocking of the original post. Perhaps I need to make that more clear.

Have I told you lately how ... (Below threshold)

Have I told you lately how cool I think you are?

I thought it was a great pa... (Below threshold)

I thought it was a great parody, Kev! When I originally read the K5 screed, I had to wonder why Mr.Joyce has it in for Venomous Kate. The man's writing will never live up to that of his namesake, though--which may be why he's so bitchy...

Oops, sorry, my bad. Like ... (Below threshold)
Steve:

Oops, sorry, my bad. Like I said, I apparently HBT.

Now I remember why I haven'... (Below threshold)

Now I remember why I haven't bothered logging into K5 in at least two years...

Would I be too much of a tr... (Below threshold)

Would I be too much of a troll and a spammer if I point out that I linked to this and took advantage of the opportunity to rant again about one of my worst pet peeves?

http://aeternam626.com/b2/index.php?m=200402#210

muyuubyou is right about th... (Below threshold)

muyuubyou is right about the problems in MT. But it doesn't matter a whole lot: You take down one MT site and - what? You've taken down one MT site. The other 100,000 are doing just fine.

On the rest of the matter, though, he is basically clueless.

James A C Joyce, however, is a wothless sack of shit. Or, just possibly, someone using the same name is a worthless sack of shit. From the wording used, though, I suspect it is the same person.

Kevin,Kudos for trol... (Below threshold)

Kevin,
Kudos for trolling the troll...




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