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It's Friday, that means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Winners will be announced Sunday evening.
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed for this post; discussion can continue in the announcement post.
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The keys to Michael Jackson's kingdom have just been ripped from his mother's hands. Over the objections of Katherine Jackson, a Los Angeles probate judge today ruled that Michael...
1:54 PM | 
0 comments
The fact that Barack Obama was elected President is a pretty clear indicator that Politics is not scientific. That is, with all due respect to the President, his resume was...
1:31 PM | 3 comments
8:05 AM | 1 comments
Karl Malden, the bulbous-nosed character actor who won a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Mitch, the guiless suitor of Blanche DuBois in the 1951 classic A Street...
8:02 AM | 5 comments
Visitors to the Sears Tower's new glass balconies all seem to agree: The first step is the hardest. The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut...
7:50 AM | 0 comments
Angelina Jolie's was named highest-paid actress on Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 list. Coming in second behind Angie is Jennifer Aniston. Which would have the rag mags in a tizzy...
7:42 AM | 2 comments
It's still unclear what David Carradine was doing when he died, but a doctor knows what technically killed him. Having already ruled out suicide by hanging, the private pathologist...
7:37 AM | 2 comments
Dimension Films has acquired the remake rights to "An American Werewolf in London", John Landis' 1981 horror-comedy. Landis spoke to bloodydisgusting.com and said "Yes, Dimension is now in negotiation...
7:30 AM | 1 comments
article here!! Jackson was not the biological father of any of his three children, it was claimed yesterday - a revelation that may herald new complications in his family's...
10:06 PM | 4 comments
SELLER: Alan Jackson LOCATION: Moran Road, Franklin, TN PRICE: $38,000,000 SIZE: 19,000 square feet (approx.), 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms DESCRIPTION: Magnificent offering w/o compare. Bordered by...
7:57 AM | 1 comments
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Comments (60)
Look honey, the living room... (Below threshold)1. Posted by mark | May 28, 2004 2:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Look honey, the living room set comes complete with a mannequin of grandpa!
1. Posted by mark | May 28, 2004 2:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 14:58
2. Posted by Dodd | May 28, 2004 3:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Can you give me your solemn oath - as a foreigner?" - Col. Arbuthnot, Murder on the Orient Express
2. Posted by Dodd | May 28, 2004 3:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 15:01
3. Posted by McGehee | May 28, 2004 3:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I'd like to talk to you about ... diarrhea."
3. Posted by McGehee | May 28, 2004 3:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 15:08
4. Posted by Shawn Levasseur | May 28, 2004 3:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
In Disney World's workshop, the animatronic "President Kerry" is behind schedule. Deigners say that the faux Kerry is "warm and loveable," unlike the actual candidate. Remedies include programming in multiple methods of saying "Do you know who I am???"
4. Posted by Shawn Levasseur | May 28, 2004 3:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 15:20
5. Posted by Fritz | May 28, 2004 3:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Year 2085
5. Posted by Fritz | May 28, 2004 3:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 15:27
6. Posted by Fritz | May 28, 2004 3:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Year 2085
After flip-flopping for months over which section of the museum was most appropriate for the new John F. Kerry exhibit, curators at the Smithsonian compromised by putting the former Senator's memorabilia in the basement under "Potpourri" rather than in "Curiosities" or "Believe It or Not."
6. Posted by Fritz | May 28, 2004 3:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 15:35
7. Posted by Sargasm | May 28, 2004 4:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
In case of an emergency, break open.
7. Posted by Sargasm | May 28, 2004 4:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 16:23
8. Posted by SpaceMonkey | May 28, 2004 4:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Special Tonight: Waffles under glass.
8. Posted by SpaceMonkey | May 28, 2004 4:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 16:31
9. Posted by Tongue Boy | May 28, 2004 4:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I am the Architect. I created the Matrix. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant."
9. Posted by Tongue Boy | May 28, 2004 4:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 16:39
10. Posted by McGehee | May 28, 2004 4:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Uh-oh, only 12 minutes to Judge Wapner."
10. Posted by McGehee | May 28, 2004 4:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 16:40
11. Posted by Stephen Macklin | May 28, 2004 4:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
A rare look into the medal wing of a Heinz-Kerry estate shows the senator and candidate in the view lounge of his third Purple Heart. Aids say he comes here to unwind from the campaign trail and will often spend up to two hours in one of the viewing rooms.
11. Posted by Stephen Macklin | May 28, 2004 4:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 16:56
12. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Vain in Train" - Dyslexic Bostonian Talking Heads fan on the Campaign Trail.
12. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:02
13. Posted by Francis W. Porretto | May 28, 2004 5:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Whistler's Mother's Proctologist"
13. Posted by Francis W. Porretto | May 28, 2004 5:03 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:03
14. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kerry infuses new meaning to the word railroaded.
14. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:04
15. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hello Grand Central? Do you have a sleeping car? You do? Well you better wake it up!"
15. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:05
16. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Botoxmortis
16. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:06
17. Posted by Laurence Simon | May 28, 2004 5:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"All aboard the Tussead's Express!"
17. Posted by Laurence Simon | May 28, 2004 5:13 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:13
18. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Trains, planes and automobiles -- exactly which of these doesn't Kerry own and deny owning?
18. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:14 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:14
19. Posted by Jay Tea | May 28, 2004 5:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You are now entering... The Nuance Zone."
J.
19. Posted by Jay Tea | May 28, 2004 5:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:16
20. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kerry ponders getting up and pulling the train to get more votes. Or not.
Spray alert... put down your coffee before clicking the link.
20. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:16
21. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lights on... nobody home.
21. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | May 28, 2004 5:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:19
22. Posted by Jay Tea | May 28, 2004 5:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Don Corleone, I must beg of you a favor."
J.
22. Posted by Jay Tea | May 28, 2004 5:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:23
23. Posted by Rob A. | May 28, 2004 5:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OK Al, here's the deal. When you're done shining my shoes, you're gonna give one of those crazy speeches where you growl like a bear; I mean really rumble like a mental patient on the first syllable in WOLF-iwitz. Say a lot of crazy things and ask for the entire Bush Adminstration to resign in the middle of a war--yes, Condi too--hey dipshit pay attention, whatever you do don't bring up Nick Berg, if you do people will realize that the Islamonuts are evil and that's no good for us, see. If you nail this speech, it'll make me look like a moderate and BAM!-the squishy middle is mine again.
Oh and grease your hair back real slick-like for extra creepiness.
23. Posted by Rob A. | May 28, 2004 5:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:47
24. Posted by Fritz | May 28, 2004 5:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well, Theresa and I were at this quaint little eatery called 'Pizza Hut' and they have a glass window that allows diners to actually SEE the pizza pies being made. It was then that this brilliant idea hit me! I installed a glass window to my office so people can actually see how WAFFLES are made!"
24. Posted by Fritz | May 28, 2004 5:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 17:51
25. Posted by Joe | May 28, 2004 6:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
June 13, 2006
"This terror-proof booth was a great idea."
25. Posted by Joe | May 28, 2004 6:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 18:05
26. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 6:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
In Hell, John Kerry's torture, was to have to sit before General Patton and hear about the courage of soldiers that did not throw their (or others') medals away.
26. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 6:07 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 18:07
27. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 6:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Smithonian exibit 7734 (year 2025): In the old days before it was determined that the job of politician could be more safely and cheaply be outsourced to India, "Politicians" were selected from the general populace.
27. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 6:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 18:10
28. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 6:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Heinz Museum Exihibit: Wiener under glass.
28. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 6:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 18:12
29. Posted by Jay Tea | May 28, 2004 6:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
A correction to Sargasm's comment above:
"UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, regardless of emergency, should this glass be broken!"
J.
29. Posted by Jay Tea | May 28, 2004 6:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 18:36
30. Posted by Jay Tea | May 28, 2004 6:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"How much is that waffler in the window,
The one with the flip-floppying tail?
How much is that gigolo in the window?
Oh, I do hope his agenda's for sale."
J.
30. Posted by Jay Tea | May 28, 2004 6:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 18:39
31. Posted by Politi-Gal | May 28, 2004 6:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"There's no place like the Oval Office...there's no place like the Oval Office..."
31. Posted by Politi-Gal | May 28, 2004 6:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 18:49
32. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 6:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Again at the Heinz Museum: "Here on display is an exhibit of a Heinz spokesperson that lead a popular presidential bid, Oops.... sorry, we've already walked by the Morris the Cat exhibit.
32. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 6:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 18:51
33. Posted by Puddle Pirate | May 28, 2004 7:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Damn, Hillary's looking in the window again! Maybe she won't see me if i sit ... very ... still ...
33. Posted by Puddle Pirate | May 28, 2004 7:14 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 19:14
34. Posted by Chrees | May 28, 2004 7:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"This train reminds me of a rickshaw ride I had when I was in Vietnam..."
34. Posted by Chrees | May 28, 2004 7:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 19:26
35. Posted by Ricky Vandal | May 28, 2004 8:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Twentieth Century Robber Barron sat down in his private suite-style compartment as the butler poured him a drink and pondered on this question. "If I close my eyes till I reach the West Coast, will that make Middle America disappear?"
35. Posted by Ricky Vandal | May 28, 2004 8:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 20:05
36. Posted by ROCHELLE SIEGEL SMITH | May 28, 2004 8:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Okay Kerry let's try it once more. Lights, camera, ack-shunnnn." Kerry-"...And so...crap where was I...I lost my train of thought AGAIN. I can't read the cue cards! Dear God, please help me?"
36. Posted by ROCHELLE SIEGEL SMITH | May 28, 2004 8:43 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 20:43
37. Posted by charles | May 28, 2004 8:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The John Kerry Treatment Center for the Flip-Flop addict
37. Posted by charles | May 28, 2004 8:55 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 20:55
38. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 9:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
In his bid for presidency, John Kerry seeks out the counsel of the leading wisemen of our time.
"And so Mr. Trudeau, if I'm elected you promise not to draw me as anything silly, like a feather, or giant hand...
or a waffle ... or a Viet Nam medal ... or a snowboard ...
or ..."
38. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 9:55 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 21:55
39. Posted by Rochelle Siegel Smith | May 28, 2004 9:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I've rehearsed and rehearsed, yet my openin' speech is way off track. Befo' I can become a household name, I need mo' trainin'
39. Posted by Rochelle Siegel Smith | May 28, 2004 9:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 21:58
40. Posted by SarahW | May 28, 2004 9:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
View Kerry in a moment's reverie.
40. Posted by SarahW | May 28, 2004 9:59 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 21:59
41. Posted by SarahW | May 28, 2004 10:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
View Kerry in a moment's reverie.
41. Posted by SarahW | May 28, 2004 10:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 22:00
42. Posted by SarahW | May 28, 2004 10:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This one works
42. Posted by SarahW | May 28, 2004 10:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 22:04
43. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 10:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John Kerry is instantly mesmerized by the new late night programming of the LOGO network.
"Shazam, Sargeant Carter, Shazam"
43. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 28, 2004 10:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 22:47
44. Posted by McGehee | May 28, 2004 10:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Pull my butler's finger."
44. Posted by McGehee | May 28, 2004 10:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 28, 2004 22:49
45. Posted by Kot Begemot | May 29, 2004 12:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Next stop - Humiliating Defeat Avenue.
45. Posted by Kot Begemot | May 29, 2004 12:25 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 00:25
46. Posted by Kot Begemot | May 29, 2004 12:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Get a train, morans!
46. Posted by Kot Begemot | May 29, 2004 12:27 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 00:27
47. Posted by Alex | May 29, 2004 2:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
A fine specimen. It's a shame he had to freeze like that when he found out that Ralph Nader was ahead in the polls.
47. Posted by Alex | May 29, 2004 2:54 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 02:54
48. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 29, 2004 9:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Waiting room at the Washingtonienne.
48. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 29, 2004 9:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 09:13
49. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 29, 2004 9:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hmmmm, Much as with SarahW's captions, maybe my third position on the Iraqi war will do the trick, and get me elected.:
49. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 29, 2004 9:17 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 09:17
50. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 29, 2004 9:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hmmm, I wonder where Bill and Hillary are, they swore they would give me their solemn support attestation.
50. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 29, 2004 9:22 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 09:22
51. Posted by SarahW | May 29, 2004 10:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill -
You just don't know history. I typed the link in correctly before I posted in incorrectly. Then I fell off my bike. Wearing a plastic daisy.
51. Posted by SarahW | May 29, 2004 10:02 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 10:02
52. Posted by Justene | May 29, 2004 10:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yes, Mrs. Robinson?
52. Posted by Justene | May 29, 2004 10:05 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 10:05
53. Posted by pylorns | May 29, 2004 10:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And tonight, on CBS back by popular demand, David Copperfield will make this train disapear leaving only this man sitting in his chair.
53. Posted by pylorns | May 29, 2004 10:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 10:46
54. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 29, 2004 10:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Trailer from The King-maker and I:
"Can I get you another drink Senator Kennedy?"
54. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 29, 2004 10:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 10:49
55. Posted by pylorns | May 29, 2004 10:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You know...Hitler traveled by railcar on occasion too. Kerry, following in the footsteps of Hitler.
paid for by george bush
55. Posted by pylorns | May 29, 2004 10:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 10:49
56. Posted by Alex | May 29, 2004 2:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Elementary, my dear Watson. Watson? Where'd you go? Wait...I couldn't make up my mind on an assistant.
56. Posted by Alex | May 29, 2004 2:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 14:37
57. Posted by Alex | May 29, 2004 2:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What? You trapped him and put him in a giant bell jar? Now who's going to help put Bush in office?
57. Posted by Alex | May 29, 2004 2:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 29, 2004 14:40
58. Posted by Rob A. | May 30, 2004 1:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So this-what did you call it again? Oh yes, his "train" travels on what now? I see.
And how soon will I be out of Green Bay? There was a group of street toughs in the tackiest forest green and goldenrod colored shirts who were making fun of my "starburst" bike riding outfit.
58. Posted by Rob A. | May 30, 2004 1:41 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 30, 2004 01:41
59. Posted by Nick Lauren | May 30, 2004 3:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Oh please dear satan.....let me be the president....my wife is gettting stale and smelly...and Jane said, "John if you make it, I'll deep throat your cock all the way to Delaware". I've always wanted to fuck her, but she said I gotta do two terms to get the pussy. Oh, well, there is always fat little piggy interns until then. Oh please satan, please....I'll sell every american soul to get that Fonda pussy!!!!!
59. Posted by Nick Lauren | May 30, 2004 3:30 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 30, 2004 03:30
60. Posted by Rick | May 30, 2004 8:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And what can I do for you on this, the day of my daughter's wedding?
60. Posted by Rick | May 30, 2004 8:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 30, 2004 20:41