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How Bad Do You Want It?

Through the divine spirits of the Google gods I have been delivered mana from Google heaven. Apparently my karma is now such that I have the power to give an invitation to the Gmail Beta program.

Rather than be a pud and run off and try to sell said invitation on eBay, I'm going to give one away for the asking.

The assignment is simple - explain why you deserve/need/want/require a Gmail account. Only entries submitted in the comment section or via trackback will be considered. Additional private corespondence may be considered, but only if there is an accompanying entry. The judging will be subjective - a humorous entry may win, then again a sob story may win.

I'll pick a winner this weekend.


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Comments (28)

Well I helped 739 old ladie... (Below threshold)
bb:

Well I helped 739 old ladies across the street this morning. How's that?

C'mon, Kev, I've been dying... (Below threshold)
Boyd:

C'mon, Kev, I've been dying for one of those. I can't sleep at night, tossing and turning, wishing for something it seems as though I can never have. A forbidden love, let's say. I mope my way through the day, I can't think of anything else. Here's an example of my interaction with a colleague:

Fred: "Hi, Boyd, how's it going?"

Boyd: "GMail?"

Fred: "What?"

Boyd: <sighs> "I really need a GMail."

Fred: "GMail? What's that? A man's G-string? Are you getting kinky again?"

Boyd: "I've gotta get one, Fred! I don't know how much longer I can make it! I've gotta find someone who can get me one!"

Fred: <backing away> "Sure, Boyd, sure. Uh...I've gotta go...uh..." <turns and runs away at top speed>

You see? My whole life is getting weird on me. I can't function any more. I MUST HAVE A GMAIL ACCOUNT!!!!

Oops. I just noticed. I already have one.

Nevermind.

Give Gmail to Boyd, His pre... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Give Gmail to Boyd, His previous version "F(e)Mail" has a nagging problem.

Because I didn't sen... (Below threshold)
Paul:

Because I didn't send you my bandwidth bill last month? LOL

Hey bb, did they WANT to cr... (Below threshold)

Hey bb, did they WANT to cross the street?

Well they all wanted to get... (Below threshold)
bb:

Well they all wanted to get *back* across afterwards. Heh. So I helped 'em again.

Now...that's 1478 old ladies I've helped across the street.

How'm I doing so far???

Kevin, now I dont beg very ... (Below threshold)

Kevin, now I dont beg very easilly, since I am way too cool for that. But I will say, unlike some of the schiesters here, YOU KNOW what I am doing to help those less fortunate. Even though you did not give a plug for Project Apollonia (My Project to bring books to poor school kids in Costa Rica)*WINK*, and even though I pumped up Spirit of America! You know by now from reading my Blog that I could USE Gmail, and not to subscribe to Porn Pic of the day emails. LOL! And besides I am the voice of Liberal Reason in this vaste wasteland of conservative thought. And I am one of your fans....


SO HOOK A BRUTHA UP!


DA

Nice try DA but I think I'm... (Below threshold)
Paul:

Nice try DA but I think I'm still in the lead. ;-)

bb was it snowing?

I would love to have anothe... (Below threshold)

I would love to have another pristine email account to use. All the others are completely overrun with spam. It would also be nice to see what all the controversy is all about.

I suppose I could offer an honorary knighthood or something of that sort, but I would hate to stoop to the level of begging which has already rampant in this thread.

Lots of deserving folks. Only one takes the prize. Gmail truly is a zero-sum game, but hey, I'm a positive kind of guy.

Kevin, did I mention that I... (Below threshold)

Kevin, did I mention that I know the hottest models in Costa Rica, personally? Did I mention that I am known as the Father of High Tech in Costa Rica, and that hanging with me can be like hanging with a Rock Star here?
I am sure I did not mention those things, would not want to be accussed of bragging or trying to sway the vote through bribery and corruption.

;-) How you like me now Paul?

Snowing? Snowing is not the... (Below threshold)
bb:

Snowing? Snowing is not the word.

The eskimos have over 300 words to describe snow. They still haven't thought of one to describe how hard or fast the white stuff was falling this morning.

In fact, due to the inclement weather (and the fact that old ladies are generally a little unsteady on their feet), I had to carry each of those old ladies across the road on my shoulders.

One at a bleedin' time.

Now I wasn't going to mention this - modesty and all that - but after reading the other posts in this thread, I think it's appropriate.

*Cough*

Did I mention that it never... (Below threshold)

Did I mention that it never snows in Costa Rica, and that I have "ahem,' some of the best connections in the Hotel industry in all of the country. I have been known to hook up casual friends with free weekends at luxury hotels on the beach. Of course I would never imply that I would do this for a GMail account, just that I have the access. Ever checked out http://www.tiazelmira.com
Did I mention that I am good friends with the guy who does the site, and that I personally know some of the models. Nah, I am sure I did not mention that...
*WINK*

Okay Kevin, time to demonst... (Below threshold)

Okay Kevin, time to demonstrate my amazing negotiating skills, the ones that made me the Prince of San Jose, Costa Rica, and the darling of the business community. I will vote Republican if ya give up the Gmail account!
(Did I say that?) Damn! And I will forgo anymore arguments with my good friend Paul, a swear my allegiance to the cause (at least until the Beta Period is over.) LOL!
That is my Best offer!

Somebody help me! Please! I... (Below threshold)

Somebody help me! Please! I don't want to cross the street anymore! Really, I don't! Please don't make me go over there again! The knitting store is on this side! I need to stay here! Help me...please... give him the god damned invite...anything! Just don't let him carry me across the street again!...

Ooooh, look at the size of that snowflake!

If I do not receive a Gmail... (Below threshold)
pennywit:

If I do not receive a Gmail account, the terrorists have already won.

--|PW|--

As you can see Kevin, while... (Below threshold)

As you can see Kevin, while the others have grown tired of the competition, or MORE LIKELY, they realize they can not win with me in the race... I continue to demonstrate my Desire and worthiness for such an honor. I have already decided to name my account [email protected]!
An acknowledgement of my commitment to such a fine forum of political discourse!

Well, I sure as heck don't ... (Below threshold)

Well, I sure as heck don't want it.

Oi! Put her down. That's my... (Below threshold)

Oi! Put her down. That's my wife, that is!

The problem is that the peo... (Below threshold)
New Gmail User:

The problem is that the people at Google have been far too generous with the handling of their invitations in that far too many people have gained access and as such, there's really no rush to get your own "unique" address because they're all gone. I guess I don't mind the concept of invitations, but the problem has reached epic proportions in that far too many invitations have been placed lovingly in the hands of low life capitatlists who take perspectively good usernames not because they intend to use them, but so that they can be sold on eBay for 200 dollars. It's bad enough that if you don't have a connection you're looking at paying between 20 and 50 bucks for an invite off of eBay. That, I wouldn't mind. It's the corrupt people; the "gmail squatters" as I call them that I have a problem with. In 2 months they've pissed all over what was initially a good thing. Trust and the honor system were given a swift kick in the crotch in favor of marketing and money by the people at Google who, knew this kind of thing would happen and didn't care. For those of you considering buying an account on eBay, two words of advice:

1) Buy one during the day so you can get it mega cheap.

2) Don't expect "getting your unique nickname" to equate to getting anything remotely close to what you want. You won't. Because it's already been bought and sold. You'll have a harder time coming up with a username you're happy with than you did on Yahoo or MSN. And it's still in Beta, so explain that one! Your only reward will be that you have a Gmail account. Be forewarned and prepare to be pissed.

Well I don't really know wh... (Below threshold)
AMcG:

Well I don't really know why you would want to give me one. After all, I'm a European who can't stand the Bush administration and frequently gives out about their abuse of power.

My redeeming quality is that I'm open to other opinions. Your page is one of those I visit to read an opinion that differs substantially to my own.

With all the negativity, I ... (Below threshold)

With all the negativity, I move that Kevin suspend all additional nominations and just award the invitation to the best candidate so far. preferably ME! *LOL*

Thank you for the account K... (Below threshold)

Thank you for the account Kevin. I really had fun with this competition. You da man!

David

Hmmmmph.... (Below threshold)
bb:

Hmmmmph.

I want Gmail because a frie... (Below threshold)
Len Fox:

I want Gmail because a friend has it and I want it too>

I want Gmail because a frie... (Below threshold)
Len Fox:

I want Gmail because a friend has it and I want it too>

I want Gmail because a frie... (Below threshold)
Len Fox:

I want Gmail because a friend has it and I want it too>

I want Gmail because a frie... (Below threshold)
Len Fox:

I want Gmail because a friend has it and I want it too>

I AM MD. MEHEDI HASAN. FROM... (Below threshold)
MD. MEHEDI HASAN.:

I AM MD. MEHEDI HASAN. FROM BANGLADESH. I AM A GMAIL USER. I WANT TO PRESENT GMAIL ALL FRIENDS AND STUDENTS. SO I WANT INVITATIONS. PLEASE IF YOU WANT THEN SEND ME A LARGEST NUMBERS OF GMAIL INVITATIONS ON MY ACCOUNT.

MD. MEHEDI HASAN.
[email protected]




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