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MTV Convention Lingo

Tragically unhip Ana Marie Cox (aka Wonkette) has been tapped by MTV to do coverage from the Democratic National Convention.

It seems to have escaped everyones notice that MTV produced this years ill-fated Super Bowl halftime show. Nipple slips and penis jokes are out at Viacom owned MTV, which will seriously crimp the Wonkette vocabulary. Here are some new MTV style terms the Wonkette may want to brush up on before she goes on air.

ballin' - v. To flaunt money. To be noticeably rich like John Kerry and John Edwards.

four-twenty - n. Commonly known as the time to smoke pot. It has come to mean everything from the act of smoking, the stuff that's smoked, and the optimum smoking time. Also known for the date, April 20th, which is the day to smoke pot all day, "the hippie holiday." Believe me the audience and attendees will know this term.

bling-bling - n. Originally flashy gold jewelry, but it's use has expanded to include a 'living large' style of clothes, cars or general life-style. PDiddy will flash the bling-bling, Michael Moore won't. Moore has a hard enough time remembering to bath...

grommet - n. A newbie skater, or a general newbie. Could be applied to John Edwards' experience level...

gold digging ho - n. a female that is trying to use you for your money. John Kerry would be a "gold digging man ho."

housed - to get extremely drunk, high, or wasted, alternatively to get beaten very badly at something. See Al Gore.

jigga - n. a gigolo; someone who's got the hook up with the ladies. See Bill Clinton.

MILF - Someone’s mother that is very attractive. The word is an acronym for a “Mother that I’d Like to F**k.” For example, Teressa Heinz Kerry - not a MILF.

PHD - An acronym/euphemism for "playa hata degree." Someone who tries to mess up a "playa's chance with women (his "game"). See Hillary Clinton.

pimp - v. To fix up or make glamorous, as in, "Have you heard a Kerry speech? We seriously need to pimp him up."

skeeza - n. an unattractive, yet promiscuous female. See Washingtonienne.

squirrel - n. a hot female. She her.

tweaker - adj. Someone who is addicted to methamphetamine. See Maureen Dowd.

weaksauce - n. A joke that didn't quite make you laugh. See Howard Dean or Dennis Kucinich.

whoobangin' - v. to communicate bad things about someone, or gossip. This should be in Ana Marie's wheelhouse.

So Ana while you're whoobangin' down at the playa convention remember this - in the event of emergency (unknown phrase used in a question to you) nod your head approvingly and say, "word!"


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Comments (4)

Wha? I thought you and Won... (Below threshold)

Wha? I thought you and Wonkhole were tight. Trouble in paradise?

Kevin, the bling... (Below threshold)
hobgoblin:

Kevin,

the bling-bling is the gold, man. The jewels. Knowaimsayin?

Remind her to randomly yell... (Below threshold)

Remind her to randomly yell out "fo shizzle mah nizzle" and "skeet, skeet, skeet!". That will help her credibility.

And remember... "nizzle" do... (Below threshold)

And remember... "nizzle" does not mean "neighbor"




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