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Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for another edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.


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Comments (52)

Damn! You are one sexy bitc... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Damn! You are one sexy bitch!

There's no crying in politi... (Below threshold)

There's no crying in politics!

W. thinks to himsef "I may ... (Below threshold)

W. thinks to himsef "I may not know where Saddam's WMD are, but I have a damn good idea who just cut the cheese..."

Stop praying and arrest som... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Stop praying and arrest somebody for chrissake!

"I'll kick you in the balls... (Below threshold)
Ben:

"I'll kick you in the balls again if I have to!"

You SHOULD be ashamed of yo... (Below threshold)
JFH:

You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself; there are still MILLIONS that haven't felt a "chill wind" that crushing their dissent.

"Aw, John, I'm sorry. I did... (Below threshold)

"Aw, John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you you lost to a dead guy. Heck, all I said was, I'm keeping Cheney as my running mate..."

Press speculation on the ap... (Below threshold)

Press speculation on the apparent rift between the President and the Attorney General ran wild for weeks until it was revealed that Ashcroft had committed the unpardonable sin of eating the last pretzel at lunch.

I catch you ogling that pho... (Below threshold)

I catch you ogling that photo-spread of the twins again and I'll rip the OTHER one off, too!

I find your lack of faith d... (Below threshold)

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

So you had the Condi specia... (Below threshold)

So you had the Condi special last night too?

John, we just can't get mar... (Below threshold)
Dori:

John, we just can't get married.

Uh, John, I think in the fu... (Below threshold)
Dori:

Uh, John, I think in the future perhaps it would be best if you, you, uh, hung back to the rear of the battle, you know, for your own sake.

I had this auntie who used ... (Below threshold)
Dori:

I had this auntie who used to get this nasty crusty stuff on the back of her neck every summer - turns out she was allergic to shellfish, yours should clear up soon, John, just don't scratch it.

LOL @ Shawn Levasseur!... (Below threshold)

LOL @ Shawn Levasseur!

"I told you to stop ... (Below threshold)

"I told you to stop with the 'pull my finger' crap, John!"

"Pull it together, bucko, o... (Below threshold)

"Pull it together, bucko, or I'll have to go Patton on you, right here in front of all these reporters."

I feel your pain but, Lord,... (Below threshold)
david:

I feel your pain but, Lord, you're such a sissy!!

Please don't sing "Let the ... (Below threshold)
Zed:

Please don't sing "Let the Eagles Soar," please don't sing "Let the Eagles Soar," please don't sing "Let the Eagles Soar" ...

"Okay, frown contest. Ready... (Below threshold)
Tim:

"Okay, frown contest. Ready... set... GO!"

Ashcroft desperatly tries t... (Below threshold)

Ashcroft desperatly tries to keep from laughing at a Whoopi Goldberg joke, but to no avail, as George is on to him.

(After just grabbing Ashcro... (Below threshold)

(After just grabbing Ashcroft's head in both hands and kissing him violently)

"I knew it was you, John. You broke my heart."

"Daddy said I might have to... (Below threshold)

"Daddy said I might have to kick your ass."

It won't help to cry. MoveO... (Below threshold)

It won't help to cry. MoveOn says I'm Hittler and your Goebles

"Sorry John, I know you wan... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Sorry John, I know you wanted the death penalty, but Saffron and Seersucker just don't make Martha that bad a person."

"Mr. President, this is ago... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"Mr. President, this is agony! I can't take it!"

"Just relax, Ashy. We all went through it. But we all agreed -- we can't argue how wrong gay marriage is without knowin' firsthand just how wrong gay sex is."

J.

Jesus John, its just a halt... (Below threshold)
Rob:

Jesus John, its just a halter top she's wearing. Its like you've never seen boobs before.

Badger, Badger, Badger, Bad... (Below threshold)

Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger, A SNAKE A SANKE!

Didn't I tell you to crush ... (Below threshold)
ss:

Didn't I tell you to crush dissent? Didn't I? . . . Wait, what'd you just say? . . . Yeah, that's what I thought. . . . You make me sick. . . . Pussy.

Now that she's gone, you're... (Below threshold)

Now that she's gone, you're back on the SlimFast diet aren't you? You KNOW what that does to you.

Another Caption Contest at digitalwarfighter.com.

uuummmm man meat, uuuummmmm... (Below threshold)
Clash City Rocker:

uuummmm man meat, uuuummmmmm

AP: President Bush looks d... (Below threshold)

AP: President Bush looks disapprovingly towards AG John Ashcroft as Ashcroft interrupts Bush's speech on terorrism for the fifth time with *cough*asphinctersaysmadman*cough*

McGeHee:Almost, bu... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

McGeHee:

Almost, but not quite. My spies in the White House tell me the exact quote was:

"John, I told you to pull my finger. Do not make me make that an Executive Order."

J.

Ashcroft bites his tongue t... (Below threshold)

Ashcroft bites his tongue to keep from saying, "He who smelt it, dealt it."

Yeah, you'd better pray god... (Below threshold)

Yeah, you'd better pray god-boy -- I heard what you said about my Jenna ...

What will Laura think when ... (Below threshold)

What will Laura think when I tell her and the kids that I'm moving in with John?

I'm so gonna hang yo... (Below threshold)

I'm so gonna hang your ass out to dry after I smoke the french guy.

Psst... yo, Ashy...<p... (Below threshold)
Shawn W.:

Psst... yo, Ashy...

Dude, wake the F--- up! We're on!

Hell-o! Live TV!

Hey, look, Osama... he's gettin' away!

Ah, hell, they're cutting to commercial... so much for raising the terror alert.

Cheney! Yo, Cheney, get over and wake this sorry ass... nevermind, go back to sleep...

War on terror... hmph... looks like we need a war on tired old men.

"Oh, Ashcroft. That's right... (Below threshold)
Tom:

"Oh, Ashcroft. That's right! How could I forget about him? So, there IS one person more hated than I am by liberals. Phew."

"Bitch! I will slap the sh... (Below threshold)

"Bitch! I will slap the shit out of you."

Bush: Sometimes… when you s... (Below threshold)
Vegas Infidel (the worst kind):

Bush: Sometimes… when you say things like that… it’s like I don’t even know you anymore

Ashcroft: …but I…

Bush: (interrupting) Just…no.

Bush: "Dude, who told you t... (Below threshold)

Bush: "Dude, who told you that was funny?"

Ashcroft: "It sounded funny when Franken said it on his show..."

"John, you realize this pic... (Below threshold)

"John, you realize this picture is gonna be in Wizbang's caption contest this weekend, don't you?"

"Yes, Mr. President. I just can't tell you how sorry I am."

"Go ahead and cry, John. We... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"Go ahead and cry, John. We can't let those bozos sew up the entire metrosexual vote."

J.

AP Breaking...Attorney Gene... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

AP Breaking...Attorney General Ashcroft grimaces as he realizes that President bush has just started to ponder the political ramifications of Ashcroft's reference to Kerry and Edwards as two of Hillary's Johns.

Suddenly it was all so clea... (Below threshold)

Suddenly it was all so clear. As the President glanced at his attorney general, only the slightest glare in his eyes betrayed the fact he'd figured out who was leaking the "dump Cheney" conspiracy details to Justene Adamec of CalBlog. Ashcroft, meanwhile, stood there wondering why he suddenly felt as though someone had just walked over his grave.

Sniffing the air, GWB turns... (Below threshold)
eclipsegurl:

Sniffing the air, GWB turns to John Ashcroft as he bows his head with embarassment.

John: It's the smell of brimstone Mr. President.

GWB: That isn't brimstone I smell, damn John, I had my mouth open and everything. You couldn't hold it? Now Laura will think I cut the cheese.

It's another fine mess you'... (Below threshold)
eclipsegurl:

It's another fine mess you've gotten us into...

GWB: How many times do I h... (Below threshold)
eclipsegurl:

GWB: How many times do I have to tell you John? I'm the President, so I get the toy in the Happy Meal. Am I making myself clear?

JA: I keep forgetting that part sir. It won't happen again. I promise.

www.whitehouseurinalcam.com... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

www.whitehouseurinalcam.com

John Ashcroft commits a maj... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

John Ashcroft commits a major faux pas as he not only cuts in front of the Commander in Chief at the Press Corp. Donut buffet line, but also grabs the last chocolate-chocolate chip muffin...

Having just heard the unmis... (Below threshold)

Having just heard the unmistakable sound of liquid dripping on leather, the President glances at the only other person in the White House men's room and thinks, "He keeps sayin' it's an accident, but it happens every damn time. Guess I'm gonna have to sic Condi on him."




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Section Editor: Maggie Whitton

Editors: Jay Tea, Lorie Byrd, Kim Priestap, DJ Drummond, Michael Laprarie, Baron Von Ottomatic, Shawn Mallow, Rick, Dan Karipides, Michael Avitablile, Charlie Quidnunc, Steve Schippert

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