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Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, that means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Winners will be announced Sunday.

Low blow : Egypt's Tamer Hussein employs an unorthodox maneuver against Austria's Tuncay Caliksan during their taekwon-do mens -67kg featherweight match during the Olympic Games in Athens. (AFP/Marco Longari)


Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.


Comments (62)

"The thrill of victory, and... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"The thrill of victory, and the agony of de-feet."

J.

"Geez, I hope this works be... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"Geez, I hope this works better on this guy than it did on the French guy. He just smiled like I'd patted him on the shoulder."

J.

"Stem cell research cred... (Below threshold)
Jim Price:

"Stem cell research credited with growing replacement foot out of man's rectum"

The unfortunate side effect... (Below threshold)

The unfortunate side effect of "putting a boot in your ass" is that the boot stays and you're left barefoot.

Tail Bone injuries are a th... (Below threshold)

Tail Bone injuries are a thing of the past with Ronco's new "Tail Bone Buddy"!!! Just five easy payments of $49.95, plue S&H! Tail Bone Budddy is not sanctioned by the IOC. Offer not valid in CA, NY, FL.

The painful consequences of... (Below threshold)

The painful consequences of asking one's opponent to "Bring! It! On!"

Are you sure I can get a Pu... (Below threshold)

Are you sure I can get a Purple Heart for this?

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!"

The trick with putting ones... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

The trick with putting ones foot in ones mouth is remember precisely where it was previously.

DRUDGE BREAKING: The bright... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

DRUDGE BREAKING: The bright side, however, was that Austria did take the Gold in the 'Tiny Tim' Impressionist Event.

It is not known what the Au... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

It is not known what the Austrian Olympic Team called the maneuver, but thereafter, in the United States, it was remembered as the day that Edgar performed a perfect "Washingtonienne."

It was at this moment that ... (Below threshold)
tony:

It was at this moment that Gunther realized that the homemade cup was a really bad idea.

Ouch, my feelings... (Below threshold)
Luke:

Ouch, my feelings

Austria did take the Silver... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Austria did take the Silver Medal, but, Italy, of course, did take the Gold.

"Don't you know zat Austria... (Below threshold)
Phil Smith:

"Don't you know zat Austria iss nott in Coalition? AUSTRALIA, not AUSTRIA!! Aber gut, iss okay ziss time, but do it again and ve vill haff to convene UN!!!"

During the Medal Presentati... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

During the Medal Presentation immediately following the match, little Johnny just could not refrain from saying. "Just where in the hell is AustOria?"

G,day Maooouuffff!!... (Below threshold)
Jumbo:

G,day Maooouuffff!!

CNN BREAKING - The John Ker... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

CNN BREAKING - The John Kerry campaign today claimed that John Kerry, who served in Viet Nam (or Cambodia), qualified for another Purple Heart, just while watching the Olympic Karate Finals. In a strange turn of events a Swiftvets spokesperson agreed that in this situation John did qualify for the Purple Heart just for watching.

"he told me he'd put his fo... (Below threshold)

"he told me he'd put his foot where my mouth was"

"Hey Jay, Pull my Fi...J... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Hey Jay, Pull my Fi...JFOV*$SX#AC."
Unfortunately for Rodney, Jay Tea had heard that gag just one time too many.

During the 2004 Olympics ho... (Below threshold)

During the 2004 Olympics however, Austrian-style football remains an exhibition sport.

Hi! Welcome to OOOOOOOOOOOW... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Hi! Welcome to OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW - ria!

Hi! Welcome to OOOOOOOOOOOW... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Hi! Welcome to OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW - ria!

"Eight inches? Hell, that's... (Below threshold)
Jmaster:

"Eight inches? Hell, that's a foot!"

"Eight inches? Hell, that's... (Below threshold)
Jmaster:

"Eight inches? Hell, that's a foot!"

That's what happens when th... (Below threshold)

That's what happens when the guy whose butt you're kissing, stops too fast.

What the Swift Boat ads hav... (Below threshold)
Robespierre the Incorruptible:

What the Swift Boat ads have felt like for the Kerry Campaign.

I can't do any better than ... (Below threshold)

I can't do any better than Rodney's...

Andres Cantor would be proud...

"One of President-elect Ker... (Below threshold)
McQ:

"One of President-elect Kerry's first acts was to thank the members of the "Coalition of the Willing" for standing by the US in Iraq".

(CLANK) -- "And ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

(CLANK) -- "And Goldmember wins again!"

George Bush uses his diplom... (Below threshold)

George Bush uses his diplomatic skills to bring Austria into the "Coalition of the Willing"

Austria settles for the sil... (Below threshold)
Trevor:

Austria settles for the silver in free-style Rochambeau.

Gold Medal Winner in the de... (Below threshold)

Gold Medal Winner in the demonstration sport "Dealing With Euro Weenies (Rumsfeld Method)"

"Nope......no guns here!"</... (Below threshold)

"Nope......no guns here!"

Egypt unleashes its "Weapon... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Egypt unleashes its "Weapons of 'Nads Destruction" on an unsuspecting Austria.

J.

It could also be a weapon o... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

It could also be a weapon of ass destruction, Jay. But, I've already used that one about 6-7 times, so never mind

This bring to me a whole ne... (Below threshold)
Darby:

This bring to me a whole new meaning of being one step ahead of the competition.

Rodney, I didn't post that ... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Rodney, I didn't post that until AFTER you mentioned me in a "pull my finger" one, so don't even THINK of criticizing my "Weapons" one. It's either reviving a classic or pounding a cliche' into the ground; you can't have it both ways.

Besides, the guy's ass really isn't involved in the impact; his groin is.

J.

France's athletes mirror th... (Below threshold)
Sean:

France's athletes mirror their governments diplomatic style.

"Silly Austrian! You wear p... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"Silly Austrian! You wear pads to protect your kidneys, but they fail to protect them from an attack from below!"

J.

After his crushing defea... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

After his crushing defeat at the Athens Olympics, Tuncay Taliksan returned to his native Austria and had a long, productive career with the Vienna Boy's Choir.

J.

"Hey, Egypt! Did you hear t... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"Hey, Egypt! Did you hear that Israel just won a gold medal? Ain't that a kick in the..."

J.

Shown above: Austrian athle... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Shown above: Austrian athlete Tuncay Taliksan just before he was disqualified for performing the banned "distract your opponent by humping his leg" maneuver.

J.

"Ah. Austria. I see you a... (Below threshold)

"Ah. Austria. I see you are a master of the 'your ass to my foot' technique!"

A little too the right, ooo... (Below threshold)

A little too the right, oooo, that's perfect.

Crikey!

Oooo, some worries mate.

I come from a land down under,
Where a kick in the nuts makes men chunder.
Can't you feel, can't feel the thunder!
You better run, You better take cover.

Oh, about that crossing you... (Below threshold)

Oh, about that crossing your "t" and watering your eyes thing...

Lamisil is probably more effective treating athlete's foot.

A blue vester kicking a red... (Below threshold)

A blue vester kicking a red vester in the nuts. Typical.

No criticism Jay, Just revi... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

No criticism Jay, Just reviving a couple of cliches AND pounding them into the ground. WMD was my leitmotif for a while just as 'pull my finger' was yours.

Psychology 101Public... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Psychology 101
Public expression versus Private expression:

A case study

During the 2004 Olympics however, Austrian-style football remains an exhibition sport.

Public expression: "Nice caption spacemonkey."

Private expression: "Damn, I hate spacemonkeys"

I never knew that Rochambea... (Below threshold)

I never knew that Rochambeau was an Olympic sport.

Very nice kick, asshopper. You have crushed my pebbles and so you must leave now.

"I turn you into a girly-man."

The Von Trapp family jewels have mysteriously disappeared.

"I don't fall down! That sonofabitch kicked me in the nuts."

If he wasn't a sitzpinkl... (Below threshold)

If he wasn't a sitzpinkler before, he will be now!

One word caption: "Pain."</... (Below threshold)
Beck:

One word caption: "Pain."

Tamer Hussein (Egypt - b... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Tamer Hussein (Egypt - blue) unleashes the devastating technique he had used to crush the Taiwanese champion, Won Hung Lo.
J.

I picked the wrong day to s... (Below threshold)

I picked the wrong day to start kickboxing.

In an attempt to increase t... (Below threshold)

In an attempt to increase the popularity of the Olympics, Nickelodeon's Teen Choice Awards now include picking an event. This year's vote: Roshambo.

Darn. Someone beat me to th... (Below threshold)

Darn. Someone beat me to that one. Let's try again:

"Kerry should be liking this -- a new definition for the term 'baby-killer.' "

In the spirit of "never bri... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

In the spirit of "never bring a knife to a gun fight," Austria's Tuncay Caliksan learns the hard way not to "fight using tae kwon do when your opponent is using Toe-Fu."

J.

In the spirit of the "Good ... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

In the spirit of the "Good Idea/Bad Idea" bit from Animaniacs, as voiced by Tom Bodett:

"Good idea: 'lift and separate' bras.

Bad idea: 'lift and separate' jock straps.

The End."

J.

The view from Boi From Troy... (Below threshold)
jeff:

The view from Boi From Troy's binoculars

"B-but Governor McGreevey, ... (Below threshold)
jeff:

"B-but Governor McGreevey, what has this to d-do with Homeland Security??"

"Shut up you little Mossad minx and ride Daddy's pony!"

New photograph surfaces of ... (Below threshold)
McCain:

New photograph surfaces of John Kerry's heroic exploits in
Vietnam. Swift boat vets claim self inflicted wound.

"Drop kick me Jesus,<br ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Drop kick me Jesus,
Through the goal posts of life...."




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