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It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
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Comments (181)
Go run this fucker through ... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Rob | September 10, 2004 2:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Go run this fucker through the Xerox 30 times. We're on in 10 minutes.
1. Posted by Rob | September 10, 2004 2:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:01
2. Posted by Kiliman | September 10, 2004 2:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hey, where are my superscripts?!?! I want my superscripts!"
2. Posted by Kiliman | September 10, 2004 2:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:02
3. Posted by Paul | September 10, 2004 2:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FLAG ON THE FIELD! Kevin Aylward penalized 15 yards for piling on.
3. Posted by Paul | September 10, 2004 2:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:04
4. Posted by Adam | September 10, 2004 2:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
We've struck gold, Suzie! Let's sit on it for six weeks till after W. gets his bounce--then we'll let 'em have it!
4. Posted by Adam | September 10, 2004 2:09 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:09
5. Posted by Rick Holte | September 10, 2004 2:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
That “freaky” little red-headed girl from the Democratic National Convention just confirmed its authenticity.... Let’s nail Bush! Nobody will ever forget this!!! Thank you God!
5. Posted by Rick Holte | September 10, 2004 2:17 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:17
6. Posted by Patrick | September 10, 2004 2:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Depends. The whole box. Fetch now.
6. Posted by Patrick | September 10, 2004 2:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:18
7. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 2:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This is NOT two ply...get me the REAL thing, dammit
7. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 2:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:18
8. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 2:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This is NOT two ply...get me the REAL thing, dammit
8. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 2:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:19
9. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...and this document, Mr. Rather, confirmed by our panel of experts (cough cough) confirms that everyone currently active in President Bush's administration was involved in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy."
9. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:20
10. Posted by Rob M | September 10, 2004 2:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"um, I don't have my glasses with me so I am not sure what it says. But lets run it up the flag pole and see what sticks."
10. Posted by Rob M | September 10, 2004 2:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:21
11. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rather: "These are not the facts I'm looking for."
Flunky: (in robot monotone) "These are not the facts you're looking for."
11. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:22
12. Posted by David | September 10, 2004 2:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Press release. George Bush was the ringleader of the Beslan massacre. Don't question it. Just publish.
12. Posted by David | September 10, 2004 2:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:23
13. Posted by Lerxst | September 10, 2004 2:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Thank you Mr. McAuliffe....."
13. Posted by Lerxst | September 10, 2004 2:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:23
14. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...and you're absolutely that our expert, Laurence Simon, confirmed this document?"
14. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:24
15. Posted by tony | September 10, 2004 2:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"What the hell is 'New Times Roman'? Just gimme the damn sheet!"
15. Posted by tony | September 10, 2004 2:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:25
16. Posted by CT | September 10, 2004 2:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Run this baby a couple a dozen times through the copier. Its a letter from Nixon, ordering Kerry to Cambodia on Chrsitams-Eve of 1968.
16. Posted by CT | September 10, 2004 2:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:26
17. Posted by Frank Martin | September 10, 2004 2:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Caption #1: Note to broker: Sell CBS Portfolio NOW!
Caption #2: (whistling quetly under breath)
once I built a railroad, made it run , made it run against time, once I built a railroad, now its gone, brother can you spare a dime....
Caption #3: Dan, its not up to me, the network says you have to go, see they put it on the jumbotron so even you can see it.
Caption #4: Get this reply in the mail right away, it says here if I help this man in nigeria I will come into big money. Boy thats lucky, I lose my job and this sweet offer shows up in my mail. how lucky can you get?
Caption #5: What's this say here, oh blahblahblahblah YOURE FIRED blahblah Love and kisses, Don Hewitt. oh, he's such a kidder that guy...
17. Posted by Frank Martin | September 10, 2004 2:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:27
18. Posted by tony | September 10, 2004 2:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Okay, we'll run it, but you swear those f---ers at Wizbang aren't gonna get a hold of this, right?"
18. Posted by tony | September 10, 2004 2:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:27
19. Posted by Tom | September 10, 2004 2:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fair and Balanced .... heh heh heh.... they can kiss my ass.
19. Posted by Tom | September 10, 2004 2:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:27
20. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...and you're absolutely certain that our expert, Laurence Simon, confirmed this document?"
(maybe Rather should try a do over as well)
20. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:28
21. Posted by CT | September 10, 2004 2:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Run this baby a couple a dozen times through the copier. Its a letter from Nixon, ordering Kerry to Cambodia on Chrsitams-Eve of 1968.
21. Posted by CT | September 10, 2004 2:30 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:30
22. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well if this is from the Washingtonienne as a source OK. But, we can't really use the codename 'Deep Throat.' So, what can we use...."
22. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:32 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:32
23. Posted by wolf | September 10, 2004 2:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Here's some more SHE ET!"
23. Posted by wolf | September 10, 2004 2:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:36
24. Posted by Frank Martin | September 10, 2004 2:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dan,
It's Belt OR Suspenders, not Belt AND Suspenders.
And for the last-freakin-time Dan, Black shoes -Black Socks, White Shoes-White socks.
24. Posted by Frank Martin | September 10, 2004 2:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:36
25. Posted by wolf | September 10, 2004 2:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Here's some more SHE ET!"
25. Posted by wolf | September 10, 2004 2:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:37
26. Posted by Eric | September 10, 2004 2:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"In light of the serious allegations regarding this story, and my participation in it, I humbly submit my resignation to protect the integrity of CBS News. I apologize for making baseless claims on substandard evidence."
Next frame
(Laughing) "Yeah, right! Run this puppy! BWA-HA-HA-HA"
26. Posted by Eric | September 10, 2004 2:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:38
27. Posted by Viuort | September 10, 2004 2:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The source was new. I did'nt know he worked for FSB. Did we screw antoher guy at the Pentagon for the CIA?
27. Posted by Viuort | September 10, 2004 2:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:40
28. Posted by Viuort | September 10, 2004 2:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The source was new. I did'nt know he worked for FSB. Did we screw antoher guy at the Pentagon for the CIA?
28. Posted by Viuort | September 10, 2004 2:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:40
29. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"OK Dan, I'll send it, but to be honest with you, I don't think Shove It will win this weeks Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest."
29. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:42
30. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I've Been Wizbanged
[ Didn't win last week, thought I'd give it another shot ;) ]
30. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 2:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:46
31. Posted by buckethead | September 10, 2004 2:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My ass isn't gonna get fact checked on this, right?
Thanks for the hot tip, President Kerry!
Notice the wary expression as the prey nervously accepts the bait.
31. Posted by buckethead | September 10, 2004 2:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:46
32. Posted by G8rGirl | September 10, 2004 2:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Mr. Rather, I swear it's real. Hey, let's shake on it."
"Nice work, kid. As you can see I've made a few notes...plus, didn't I tell you before, (whispers) ix-nay on the 'th'...."
32. Posted by G8rGirl | September 10, 2004 2:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:48
33. Posted by The Zero Boss | September 10, 2004 2:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What the hell, run it - I'm retiring soon.
33. Posted by The Zero Boss | September 10, 2004 2:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:49
34. Posted by Hugo | September 10, 2004 2:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Geez thanks, and BTW you look good in that 'magic hat' John . . .
34. Posted by Hugo | September 10, 2004 2:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:51
35. Posted by Jeff Harrell | September 10, 2004 2:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's work, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone." Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad.
(Points awarded for originality: zero. But I'm leading the field in the length competition!)
35. Posted by Jeff Harrell | September 10, 2004 2:52 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:52
36. Posted by SJDoss | September 10, 2004 2:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This just came through the fax Mr. Rather, a memo detailing John Kerry's Vietnam service was Republican deception masterminded by Karl Rove
36. Posted by SJDoss | September 10, 2004 2:53 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:53
37. Posted by Val Prieto | September 10, 2004 2:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Who is this Clinton Portis guy anyway?
37. Posted by Val Prieto | September 10, 2004 2:53 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:53
38. Posted by Dean Satterlee | September 10, 2004 2:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is this spell checked?
38. Posted by Dean Satterlee | September 10, 2004 2:53 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:53
39. Posted by Jeff Harrell | September 10, 2004 2:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Why me?"
"Because you're on television, dummy."
(Okay, enough with the Network quotes.)
39. Posted by Jeff Harrell | September 10, 2004 2:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 14:54
40. Posted by Skip | September 10, 2004 3:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is that a fact?
40. Posted by Skip | September 10, 2004 3:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:06
41. Posted by MATT | September 10, 2004 3:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Intern: "But Mr. Rather, I was just goofing around when I created that last night. I don't think it will stand up to scrut--"
Rather: "--Kid, I don't give a goddamn flying monkey shit what YOU think. It's MY JOB to save the world from those evil dickheads in the White House!
Now fuck off."
41. Posted by MATT | September 10, 2004 3:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:08
42. Posted by Frank Martin | September 10, 2004 3:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Producer: Dan, heres a joke for ya, ready?
Dan: uh, yeah go for it.
Producer: Knock, knock...
Dan: uh, who's here?
Producer: Not you. Now clear out your desk, you hack.
42. Posted by Frank Martin | September 10, 2004 3:09 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:09
43. Posted by Jim Price | September 10, 2004 3:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You do realize there's still a ketchup stain on this thing, don't you?"
43. Posted by Jim Price | September 10, 2004 3:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:10
44. Posted by tony | September 10, 2004 3:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"And so help me god, if you forget the side of mayo this time, you'll never work in television again!"
44. Posted by tony | September 10, 2004 3:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:10
45. Posted by Crank | September 10, 2004 3:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, I won't let you take this downstairs to Bloggers' Row so they can fact-check it before we run it.
45. Posted by Crank | September 10, 2004 3:17 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:17
46. Posted by Crank | September 10, 2004 3:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Looks like we're going to have to run the one that says, "FRAUD AT POLLS."
46. Posted by Crank | September 10, 2004 3:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:18
47. Posted by Evilwhiteguy | September 10, 2004 3:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yeah, I'm running the "Bush is an alien from the Andromeda galaxy" story. I confirmed it with Jayson Blair.
47. Posted by Evilwhiteguy | September 10, 2004 3:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:21
48. Posted by Dave | September 10, 2004 3:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Now John, did you spell "Killian" with 2 "L's" this time?
48. Posted by Dave | September 10, 2004 3:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:23
49. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Get this copy of Bush's honorable discharge to my expert for review pronto."
49. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:24
50. Posted by tony | September 10, 2004 3:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Fax this immediately, and lets see if we can get Bush off the ballot in Florida, too."
50. Posted by tony | September 10, 2004 3:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:25
51. Posted by Jim Kouri | September 10, 2004 3:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Here. And don't forget to enclose my check to the Elect Kerry for President campaign."
51. Posted by Jim Kouri | September 10, 2004 3:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:26
52. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Oh God, I told you years ago I don't know what the frequency is, and my name is not Kenneth"
52. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:28
53. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Jabba the Hut larval stage.
53. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:30 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:30
54. Posted by Jason | September 10, 2004 3:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fold it until it is all sharp corners? Why?
54. Posted by Jason | September 10, 2004 3:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:31
55. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"What do you mean you'd rather not present this? Is that supposed to be funny?"
55. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:32 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:32
56. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 10, 2004 3:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Here's a prinout of the boat I'm having built. Cronkite says these guys build good ships."
56. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 10, 2004 3:32 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:32
57. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Do you know who I am?"
57. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:33 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:33
58. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 10, 2004 3:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Be sure to spell his name right on the credits: Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf. Two Es in Saeed."
58. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 10, 2004 3:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:34
59. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"What do you mean, 'Talk to the hand?'"
59. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:35
60. Posted by ginabina | September 10, 2004 3:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Shouldn't this be pink???
60. Posted by ginabina | September 10, 2004 3:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:36
61. Posted by Greg | September 10, 2004 3:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ahhh yoodie yooodie yoddie... dahhhh you want me to read this too boss do ya do ya?
I love my boss he is my best friend.
61. Posted by Greg | September 10, 2004 3:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:37
62. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Do you think Walter Cronkite will mind if I use his line, "This war is on longer winnable," to lead tonight?"
62. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 3:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:40
63. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 3:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And this time uncheck the superscript option ya dumbass….. And call Evan Thomas over at Newsweek and tell him to add a couple more points for the Kerry/Edwards team in his estimates
63. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 3:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:41
64. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | September 10, 2004 3:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jayson, are you sure this'll work?
64. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | September 10, 2004 3:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:42
65. Posted by francus | September 10, 2004 3:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Dan-o, how 'bout this one? It's in Arial Black so it makes a bolder statement."
65. Posted by francus | September 10, 2004 3:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:48
66. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 3:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Umm...Mr. Rather…Sir…Are you sure you don't want to go with the low-carb menu today…the cameraman has been noting that it's getting harder and harder to fit your whole body along with your EGO on camera…..
66. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 3:50 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:50
67. Posted by chris | September 10, 2004 3:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I've fallen and I can't get up!
67. Posted by chris | September 10, 2004 3:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:51
68. Posted by Paul Zrimsek | September 10, 2004 3:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fake a letter, Maria.
68. Posted by Paul Zrimsek | September 10, 2004 3:53 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:53
69. Posted by Chublogga | September 10, 2004 3:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"This just in: new, I mean newly discovered, documents proving that George Bush did not show up for Al-Qaeda's 747 flight training."
69. Posted by Chublogga | September 10, 2004 3:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 15:54
70. Posted by joe cioni | September 10, 2004 4:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I told you guys never to hire someone who used to work for FOX news.
70. Posted by joe cioni | September 10, 2004 4:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:01
71. Posted by Guido | September 10, 2004 4:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This just handed to me....with just over 7 weeks left before the polls close on the west coast, CBS exit polling can definitively project that John Kerry has won Florida and its 27 electoral votes...WOO HOO!
I guess all of those hurricanes conjured Karl Rove wasn't enough to steal the state, this time.
71. Posted by Guido | September 10, 2004 4:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:04
72. Posted by So It Begins | September 10, 2004 4:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DAN: Get this down to an intern immediately to retype so that I can read it.
LACKY: Uh, we don't have access to the network here.
DAN: What the f***! I don't have time for this... You're going to have to log-on my account. Username, God. Password, 3-4-5-6-7.
LACKY: Right! 3-4-5-6-7. Hey, nobody would EVER guess a genius like you would have such a simple password. That's GENIUS!
DAN: Its my P.O. Box#, you idiot!
LATER IN THE BASEMENT OF MADISON SQUARE GARDEN...
INTERN: Hey, we need an address for this.
LACKY: Uh, P.O. Box 34567.
72. Posted by So It Begins | September 10, 2004 4:17 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:17
73. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 4:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Damn it…..This will never pass the New Media smell test…Do it over…Do I have to do everything myself around here myself…and by the way…get a hold of that Buckhead person over at that Freeper place and see if he is willing to work for the other side…..have him name his price
73. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 4:17 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:17
74. Posted by Matt | September 10, 2004 4:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Mr. Rather? Mr. D-A-N Rather?"
"Yes?"
"Can you take this sir?"
"W-What is it?"
"You've been subpoena'd!"
"Shit... how'd you get in here?!"
74. Posted by Matt | September 10, 2004 4:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:20
75. Posted by Cowboy Blob | September 10, 2004 4:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What's this "Blog" thing? Is that a typo?
75. Posted by Cowboy Blob | September 10, 2004 4:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:25
76. Posted by Bryan C | September 10, 2004 4:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You see this sheet of paper, son? Watch your hand, now! A man could get a hell of a papercut if he's not...careful. Now, what did you just ask me about my new memo?"
76. Posted by Bryan C | September 10, 2004 4:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:28
77. Posted by Rich | September 10, 2004 4:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
They don't look old enough damnit! I want more speckles!MORE SPECKLES!
77. Posted by Rich | September 10, 2004 4:30 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:30
78. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 4:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
How come there is no mention that John Kerry served in Viet Nam in this story? And Halliburton? Tax cuts for the rich? How many times do I have to tell you people.
78. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 4:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:34
79. Posted by Diogenes | September 10, 2004 4:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Huh? This is my resignation letter from when?
79. Posted by Diogenes | September 10, 2004 4:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:38
80. Posted by NF | September 10, 2004 4:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Quick Mr. Rather, give me the new memo. We're going to send it back to 1972 in the time machine! If Nixon has resigned, you'll know we failed."
Alternative caption:
"You want the CYA memo? Here's my CYA memo!"
And a not actually original dialogue, so it isn't an entry, but just seemed too good to pass up.
CBS executive: I want the truth!
Dan Rather: You can't handle the truth!
I suppose you could substitute "memo," but it is somewhat nonsensical then.
80. Posted by NF | September 10, 2004 4:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:44
81. Posted by lifeisadaydream | September 10, 2004 4:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
WHAT? You think there's someone with the cajones to contadict me.
81. Posted by lifeisadaydream | September 10, 2004 4:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:47
82. Posted by Jack Kramer | September 10, 2004 4:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Clippie is everywhere!!
http://bigslicknews.com/
Must...have...more....clippie....spoofs...
82. Posted by Jack Kramer | September 10, 2004 4:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:51
83. Posted by So It Begins | September 10, 2004 4:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DAN: Fax this over to the White House right away. I want to give them an opporunity to refute it.
PRODUCER: We already did that.
DAN: What? When?
PRODUCER: 6 weeks ago.
DAN: What did they say?
PRODUCER: They double dared us to run with the story.
DAN: Double dared, huh? Dan Rather is not a chickenhawk - I don't run from challenges. (pause) That's it - cut into Frances coverage with a "CBS SPECIAL REPORT"! We're going live with this now.
83. Posted by So It Begins | September 10, 2004 4:53 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:53
84. Posted by Phil Dayton | September 10, 2004 4:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thanks for the tip Mr. McAuliffe. If someone else had given me this memo from the 1970s I might not have believed that it was authentic.
84. Posted by Phil Dayton | September 10, 2004 4:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 16:57
85. Posted by BoDiddly | September 10, 2004 5:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rather: Take this and have it analyzed for authenticity
Assistant: Is it another memo on Bush's TANG service?
Rather: No, but it says I saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO . . .
85. Posted by BoDiddly | September 10, 2004 5:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:04
86. Posted by Rick Holte | September 10, 2004 5:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I don't give a Shit what Les Moonves say's, I'm in charge of this Fucking network not him... NOW RUN IT!
86. Posted by Rick Holte | September 10, 2004 5:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:11
87. Posted by Chrees | September 10, 2004 5:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(With apologies to "My Favorite Year")
What do I look like, a journalist? I'm a star!
87. Posted by Chrees | September 10, 2004 5:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:18
88. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 5:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Yes sir, Mr. Rather, right away. This time I'll transcribe it to sanskrit in soft clay, then the Blogheads will be sure to think its a US military document, circa 1973."
88. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 5:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:18
89. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 5:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Will you deliver this to the little blonde over there? (Dan Rather -- proving one is never too old to pass notes during study hall).
89. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 5:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:22
90. Posted by Julie | September 10, 2004 5:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The truth.... the truth? If I were interested in the truth son, I wouldn’t be working in network news now would I?
90. Posted by Julie | September 10, 2004 5:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:25
91. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 5:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Here, I wrote it down for you:
Big Mac extra value meal, no onions, no pickles, extra sauce, and a decaf coffee with 1% milk, medium, and 2 pckgs. of salt for the fries.
91. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 5:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:25
92. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 5:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"This just in sir, McAuli... I mean an undisclosed source, has found the missing Florida 2000 Ballots, Gore wins!"
92. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 5:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:29
93. Posted by Scott | September 10, 2004 5:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FACTS? I don't need no stinkin' FACTS! Throw this out and give me the one with the stuff I made up!
93. Posted by Scott | September 10, 2004 5:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:31
94. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 5:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Its just a script sir, Michael Moore wants you to star in his new movie, Farfromtruth 101
94. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 5:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:31
95. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 5:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
.....bottom of my parrot cage....NOW.
95. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 5:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:34
96. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 5:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DETERIORATA
Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.
Ro-tate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss.....and when!
Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that THREE.........do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer main-te-nance.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mu-ti-late. (and sometimes superscript)
Know yourself.
If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore;
It will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth:
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311;
Ask for "Ken (Jennings)."
Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Cleveland.
Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be---
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.
GIVE UP!
(/big time ripoff, except for a few minor embellishments)
96. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2004 5:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:35
97. Posted by Jack in TX | September 10, 2004 5:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You'll notice that I only even LOOK to the left...."
97. Posted by Jack in TX | September 10, 2004 5:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:38
98. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 5:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Are you sure this is Charmin? Doesn’t feel soft like Charmin…you know how easily I get those nasty rashes down there if it's not Charmin?
98. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 5:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:38
99. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 5:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bush said what? That's a quote? Now that it back and fix it -- just make it make sense and hurry, we need to run with it.
99. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 5:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:38
100. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 5:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
How did I get here? This is not my beautiful wife. . . .
100. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 5:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:44
101. Posted by Sobek | September 10, 2004 5:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Sorry for laughing sir, but from this angle you really ARE shaped like a pear..."
"See? The shadow of my hand on the piece of paper looks like a puppy dog. Woof! Woof!"
"Oh sure, it's good, but it's not quite 'Michael Moore' good. Can you re-write it to tie in the Saudis somehow?"
101. Posted by Sobek | September 10, 2004 5:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:46
102. Posted by JM Hanes | September 10, 2004 5:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Are readers allowed to vote? I'm still laughing over P. Zrimsek's "Fake a letter, Maria" above.
102. Posted by JM Hanes | September 10, 2004 5:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:47
103. Posted by Henry | September 10, 2004 5:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
and this time can you type it?
103. Posted by Henry | September 10, 2004 5:53 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:53
104. Posted by John Q. | September 10, 2004 5:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Here you go son, a freshly autographed naked picture of... ME!
104. Posted by John Q. | September 10, 2004 5:55 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 17:55
105. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 6:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Les....Do me a favor...fax my resume over to Drudge...I heard he is hiring.
105. Posted by K | September 10, 2004 6:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:01
106. Posted by tillUrDizzy | September 10, 2004 6:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fuck the legal department! I decide what's news around here.
106. Posted by tillUrDizzy | September 10, 2004 6:07 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:07
107. Posted by Tom | September 10, 2004 6:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, no, no. Type these on blue paper, it shows up better on TV.
107. Posted by Tom | September 10, 2004 6:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:34
108. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 6:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
George Crile XVIIXII? No good. Get me new underwear, looser suspenders and I need the orange frightwig, before I debut as weatherman on GOOD MORNING AMERICA.
108. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 6:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:35
109. Posted by Van Santos | September 10, 2004 6:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yes, Mr. Redstone, my letter of resignation is authentic.
109. Posted by Van Santos | September 10, 2004 6:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:39
110. Posted by thedragonflies | September 10, 2004 6:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
“You questioning me? I say it’s authentic. Bush shot Kennedy. Trust me.”
110. Posted by thedragonflies | September 10, 2004 6:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:41
111. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 6:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I don't give a damn what the figures show, I make more than Peter Jennings.
111. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 6:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:42
112. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 6:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This CANNOT be the diet my doctor prescribed. Call him and have him re-fax it over. Mary-Kate would have this just for a snack.
112. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 6:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:45
113. Posted by Jerry Aldini | September 10, 2004 6:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dan: "Why does this just say RATHER'S ASS?"
Producer: "It's from Les Moonves. It's his lunch order."
113. Posted by Jerry Aldini | September 10, 2004 6:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:46
114. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 6:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(Last one, I promise).
You're kidding right? You want me to do a story about a missing dog in Paris? Her name is Paris? What the hell!?! Here. Give it to Mike Wallace -- Mikey will do it, he takes everything.
114. Posted by Dori | September 10, 2004 6:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 18:49
115. Posted by Joseph Muller | September 10, 2004 7:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
From a guy on the street, you say? A raving derelict. Well, that's good enough from me.
115. Posted by Joseph Muller | September 10, 2004 7:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:01
116. Posted by Mel Ziller | September 10, 2004 7:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This is one hell of an important story, and we can't wait for "authentication." Let's run it as our lead tonight: "Found, after 60 years -- Hitler's Blog!"
116. Posted by Mel Ziller | September 10, 2004 7:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:16
117. Posted by RoLev | September 10, 2004 7:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What do you expect me to do with this phony crap?
...
Ju-u-u-u-u-st kidding!!
117. Posted by RoLev | September 10, 2004 7:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:18
118. Posted by Rube | September 10, 2004 7:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Fax from President Bush for ya, Dan."
"Hmmm...What does that mean, 'Punkd'"?
118. Posted by Rube | September 10, 2004 7:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:20
119. Posted by Sean | September 10, 2004 7:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"How can I be sure this is authentic?"
"Because I just printed it."
119. Posted by Sean | September 10, 2004 7:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:47
120. Posted by RoLev | September 10, 2004 7:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
... and here's your "CYA" memo to file, Mr. Rather.
120. Posted by RoLev | September 10, 2004 7:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:48
121. Posted by Tom Vaughan | September 10, 2004 7:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Type this up. And double check my spelling of "Killian", would ya?
121. Posted by Tom Vaughan | September 10, 2004 7:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:49
122. Posted by dook | September 10, 2004 7:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall......
122. Posted by dook | September 10, 2004 7:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:51
123. Posted by Stephen Macklin | September 10, 2004 7:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Just type it like I wrote it. Its Grp not GOP.
I don't care just turn the automatic spell check off and get it done.
123. Posted by Stephen Macklin | September 10, 2004 7:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:54
124. Posted by bill | September 10, 2004 7:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You mean I was wrong?
124. Posted by bill | September 10, 2004 7:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:56
125. Posted by McGehee | September 10, 2004 7:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Oh, it is you. I thought it was just one of those damn voices inside my head."
"Those are the directors speaking through your earpiece, Dan."
"Sure, that's what they want me to think."
125. Posted by McGehee | September 10, 2004 7:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 19:58
126. Posted by RoLev | September 10, 2004 8:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Okay, now prepare a similar memo from a deceased document expert attesting to the authenticity of this first memo.
126. Posted by RoLev | September 10, 2004 8:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 20:10
127. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 8:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I can tell by my journalistic feel that this paper was manufactured between March 15th and March 29th by Weyerhauser in Georgia from soft pine harvested just over three years ago. And they have a slight oil leak in the rollers. Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Are you going to take my crayons away too?"
127. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 8:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 20:16
128. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 8:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Here you go son. You know, the fact that I held this piece of paper is probably enough to get you through college."
The wrong memo, in the wrong time, in the wrong place.
128. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2004 8:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 20:23
129. Posted by mojo | September 10, 2004 8:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Uh, by the way, Dan... Could you come upstairs and bring everything in your desk?"
129. Posted by mojo | September 10, 2004 8:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 20:35
130. Posted by Rick Holte | September 10, 2004 8:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Of course they're authentic, I got them from Pierre Salinger.
130. Posted by Rick Holte | September 10, 2004 8:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 20:40
131. Posted by Steve Cormier | September 10, 2004 9:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Memo to Dan:
The ring has been thrown into Mount Doom by the bloggers, and the great eye is coming down.
131. Posted by Steve Cormier | September 10, 2004 9:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 21:20
132. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 9:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rumple this and the other papers up right now and shove 'em up Berger's ass and get him THE HELL OUTTA the building..we gotta commercial gogogogo
132. Posted by ac halle | September 10, 2004 9:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 21:22
133. Posted by Hunter | September 10, 2004 10:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...No you asshole thats not a flag behind my head commenting on the state of my brain...."
"...Ok....we'll run with it...but you tell MCauliffe that I get wall to wall first person interviews for the next four years..."
"Copy this until its barely readable and run it....then bring me that moon wookie from Whizbang so we can have a lip party...."
133. Posted by Hunter | September 10, 2004 10:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 22:22
134. Posted by Doug Ross | September 10, 2004 10:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Get Mr. Magoo and Ray Charles on the line - we got document verification to do!"
134. Posted by Doug Ross | September 10, 2004 10:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 22:46
135. Posted by OneDrummer | September 10, 2004 11:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thanks, Clippy!!
135. Posted by OneDrummer | September 10, 2004 11:09 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 23:09
136. Posted by D Carter | September 10, 2004 11:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Here's the copy of John Kerry's citation for the Medal of Honor. Did I spell kourage right?
136. Posted by D Carter | September 10, 2004 11:13 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 23:13
137. Posted by OneDrummer | September 10, 2004 11:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Go back and tweak this one a little bit, will ya? I can tell it's got Sandy Berger's dribblin's on this copy......
137. Posted by OneDrummer | September 10, 2004 11:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 23:19
138. Posted by Bullwinkle | September 10, 2004 11:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Berger's pants, huh? I guess that brown spot explains why they call this a "smear" campaign."
138. Posted by Bullwinkle | September 10, 2004 11:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 23:38
139. Posted by M. Delgado | September 10, 2004 11:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This looks great Baghdad Bob! I particularly like the CYA angle. You're really fitting in quite nicely. Do me another quickie and run down to the deli and get me a ham and swiss on wheat. And tell them to make sure I don't get a limp pickle this time.
139. Posted by M. Delgado | September 10, 2004 11:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 10, 2004 23:46
140. Posted by Timmer | September 11, 2004 2:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yeah, so, I've put on a few pounds...so?
I'm in shape, pear is a shape.
No...Michale Moore is the fat guy in BAD clothes, and I'm not going to shake your hand either.
140. Posted by Timmer | September 11, 2004 2:05 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 02:05
141. Posted by Tim Worstall | September 11, 2004 8:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Now, son, I like you and I think you'll go far at this network. But you really have to get with the program and understand where we're coming from...we don't use real documents 'round here."
141. Posted by Tim Worstall | September 11, 2004 8:05 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 08:05
142. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 11, 2004 8:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Here's the frequency. Distribute it to everyone but Kenneth."
142. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 11, 2004 8:09 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 08:09
143. Posted by Ken Hahn | September 11, 2004 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Call John Edwards. I need a lawyer.
143. Posted by Ken Hahn | September 11, 2004 10:00 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 10:00
144. Posted by Ron Hardin | September 11, 2004 11:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Oh, and I like your new suit of clothes, Mr. Rather.
144. Posted by Ron Hardin | September 11, 2004 11:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 11:48
145. Posted by Dean Gay | September 11, 2004 1:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Let's win one for the Flipper.
145. Posted by Dean Gay | September 11, 2004 1:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 13:40
146. Posted by Freeven | September 11, 2004 1:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is "sugar coat" one word or two?
146. Posted by Freeven | September 11, 2004 1:59 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 13:59
147. Posted by Freeven | September 11, 2004 2:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is "sugar coat" one word or two?
147. Posted by Freeven | September 11, 2004 2:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 14:00
148. Posted by Sergeant America | September 11, 2004 3:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Here's my caption for Wizbang's WCC...now; where the Hell am I?
...this predicts Miami over FSU in overtime?
148. Posted by Sergeant America | September 11, 2004 3:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 15:42
149. Posted by Jeff | September 11, 2004 5:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hows this one look?
149. Posted by Jeff | September 11, 2004 5:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 17:06
150. Posted by RoLev | September 11, 2004 5:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You say this is a 1973 blog posting by Col. Killian that corroborates the memo? Excellent! This should silence our critics once and for all."
150. Posted by RoLev | September 11, 2004 5:30 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 17:30
151. Posted by Jumbo | September 11, 2004 5:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Dammit, you STILL don't have the signature right! "
151. Posted by Jumbo | September 11, 2004 5:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 17:56
152. Posted by dudemasicus | September 11, 2004 7:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I do TO get a raise. See? I have a letter from the Network President right here! And here is another on from my doctor that proves I AM Superman. And another on from my wife stating that I go ALL night long with my 18 inch...
152. Posted by dudemasicus | September 11, 2004 7:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 19:11
153. Posted by Jeff | September 11, 2004 9:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is this authentic Mr Bill?
153. Posted by Jeff | September 11, 2004 9:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 21:44
154. Posted by Radio | September 11, 2004 10:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tell the monks up in the calligraphy dept. I need more copies, pronto!
Wish Bill Paley would spend a couple of bucks and get us electric typewriters.
This is powerful! Ironclad proof Bush designed both the Pinto & Vega.
Good thing I picked up that IBM Selectrics for Dummies book the other week.
Quick. Get this to Wm. Randolph Hearst for fact checking.
Tell that Gutenburg guy to get the superscript right this time.
I knew that outsourced Cambodian printshop with all that fancy equipment would pay off for John and I eventually. Those stupid bloggers aren't the only folks who wear pajamas!!
Have Marcel check the authenticity of Les Moonves' signature on this severance check.
154. Posted by Radio | September 11, 2004 10:50 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 22:50
155. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | September 11, 2004 11:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fresh from my butt: More steamy allegations. I'm no brownshirt. (My pants are another story.)
155. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | September 11, 2004 11:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 23:25
156. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | September 11, 2004 11:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This story is going to boost my career, get Kerry elected, and destroy the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Or not.
- - - - - -
Fox News: We report. You decide.
CBS News: We report. You spend less than 15 minutes on Google exposing us as the lazy, dishonest partisan hacks we really are.
156. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | September 11, 2004 11:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 11, 2004 23:39
157. Posted by Jack Rudd | September 12, 2004 1:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Retype this on a Smith-Corona, please.
157. Posted by Jack Rudd | September 12, 2004 1:55 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 01:55
158. Posted by Mike | September 12, 2004 4:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OK, you caught me making up this one you sneak, but all the rest is gospel. If a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a hand gun. Trust me.
158. Posted by Mike | September 12, 2004 4:54 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 04:54
159. Posted by Jeff | September 12, 2004 7:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rather: Are you sure Bush is steering Hurricanes into Democratic sctions of Florida?
Lacky: It' all in this memo from Al Gore.
Rather: We lead with this.
159. Posted by Jeff | September 12, 2004 7:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 07:13
160. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 7:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"God Dammit, I'm in charge, now take this li.. I mean manuscript and push it, and stop calling me Sisyphus."
160. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 7:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 07:36
161. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 7:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Now that is comes to mind the network was thinking more along the line of a long sabbatical rather than a short recess.
161. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 7:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 07:38
162. Posted by K | September 12, 2004 8:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"To err is human but to really foul up requires a computer." Author: Dan Rather
Did I really write that? Do me a favor....Give it a run thru Word for me......See if spellchecker can change computer to pooter.
To err is human but to really foul up requires a pooter...
yeah....thats the ticket....
162. Posted by K | September 12, 2004 8:04 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 08:04
163. Posted by Jeff | September 12, 2004 9:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hurry you have 62 minutes to sugarcoat this!
163. Posted by Jeff | September 12, 2004 9:40 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 09:40
164. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 11:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Here, let's run with this, its an authentic email from Barbara Bush, to Dubya's grade school teachers, saying he'll never amount to much."
164. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 11:26 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 11:26
165. Posted by Another Matt | September 12, 2004 11:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hey, I think I've got his signature down. How's it look?
165. Posted by Another Matt | September 12, 2004 11:29 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 11:29
166. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 12, 2004 1:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Tell Kerry that I want a pair of hookers so thin that I oughtta be able to fax tham back when I'm done with them."
166. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 12, 2004 1:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 13:28
167. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 2:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Uh, Mr. Rather, this National Guard document is not really authentic."
"That's OK, I'm not really Dan Rather."
(ripping off false face mask, revealing Bob Uecker)
167. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 2:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 14:46
168. Posted by OhioanForBush | September 12, 2004 3:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Quote from the MC at Dan Rather's retirement party later this month:
"...Here we see Dan as he submits a request for the CBS "Eye for an Eye" Purple Heart. Dan went on to win that award after it was determined the wound was self-inflicted.
[For those missing the pun...the CBS logo is an eye.]
168. Posted by OhioanForBush | September 12, 2004 3:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 15:02
169. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 4:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Yes, I know this document looks like information that is extremely damaging to Dubya and the RNC, and Yes, I know that looks like Ronald Reagan's signature. Just do as I say and slip this onto Terry McAuliffe's desk. I'm gonna get even with that F**ker."
169. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 4:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 16:11
170. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 5:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"God, I love the smell of toner in the morning...
It smells like Victory."
170. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 5:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 17:34
171. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 6:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Oh, Mr. Rather, I caught a mistake on this letter to Kerry and McAuliffe. You signed this letter with your own signature by mistake."
"No, I meant to sign this one."
"Did you know that astute is really spelled A-S-T-U-T-E."
"Yes, I did, I really did mean to call those two a couple of Ass Toots"
171. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 12, 2004 6:52 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 18:52
172. Posted by Radio | September 12, 2004 7:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yikes! Breaking news about a huge cloud in N Korea! Where's Kerry been? This looks suspiciously like his M.O. Call Mrs Fields Cookies and verify with Rassmann; he and Kerry get along swimmingly. We don't wanna alarm folks needlessly if he's just been fragging rice piles again.
172. Posted by Radio | September 12, 2004 7:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 19:19
173. Posted by Radio | September 12, 2004 7:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Would ya look at this? Ramsey Clark is gonna represent Kerry and Fonda at their treason trial. Wonder if he handles libel and forgery cases, too?
173. Posted by Radio | September 12, 2004 7:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 19:42
174. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | September 12, 2004 9:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Let's put lipstick on this pig. Roll camera.
174. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | September 12, 2004 9:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 21:00
175. Posted by Radio | September 12, 2004 10:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What a scoop this is! I could get promoted from Anchor (jg). Its Kerry's secret Iraq plan; pure genius! Gonna establish a special medal; 3 microscopic nicks shaving beard or legs equals a trip home; will have the all troops home for the Super Bowl.
175. Posted by Radio | September 12, 2004 10:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 22:31
176. Posted by Rich | September 12, 2004 11:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I checked and there is nothing in my contract that forbids me from wearing a mini version of the RNC screen attached to my head for a fee.
176. Posted by Rich | September 12, 2004 11:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 12, 2004 23:24
177. Posted by spacemonkey | September 13, 2004 11:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
See? BS!
177. Posted by spacemonkey | September 13, 2004 11:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 13, 2004 23:21
178. Posted by spacemonkey | September 13, 2004 11:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
60 minutes: more than just the name of the newsmagazine, it's out fact check time limit.
178. Posted by spacemonkey | September 13, 2004 11:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 13, 2004 23:26
179. Posted by spacemonkey | September 13, 2004 11:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Here, feel this memo. Now, doesn't that just FEEEEL authentic? What more proof could anybody need?
179. Posted by spacemonkey | September 13, 2004 11:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 13, 2004 23:28
180. Posted by spacemonkey | September 13, 2004 11:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Offscreen: "Wassup, Dan?"
Dan: "Word!"
180. Posted by spacemonkey | September 13, 2004 11:33 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 13, 2004 23:33
181. Posted by Kevin | September 14, 2004 4:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
181. Posted by Kevin | September 14, 2004 4:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 14, 2004 16:49