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"Hey Buddy, Pull My Finger"

Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry sits with a beer to watch some of the NFL football game between the Green Bay Packers and the Indianapolis Colts at the Main Street Pub and Grill in Mount Horeb, Wisconsin, September 26, 2004. Senator Kerry will spend several days in Wisconsin preparing for his first debate with President Bush in Miami, Florida September 30. (Brian Snyder/Reuters)



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Comments (61)

Kerry: He's with stupid.</p... (Below threshold)

Kerry: He's with stupid.

He's Picking Up the Tab !</... (Below threshold)
JORGE O. PELAEZ:

He's Picking Up the Tab !

"I said his glass was half-... (Below threshold)

"I said his glass was half-full before I said it was half-empty."

Charge this to the republic... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

Charge this to the republican at the end of the bar.

See how beer is gone? What ... (Below threshold)

See how beer is gone? What do I need to do to get mine that way?

See how his beer is empty? ... (Below threshold)

See how his beer is empty? What do I need to do to get mine that way?

Bartender? Give my friend s... (Below threshold)
OneDrummer:

Bartender? Give my friend some more of that cold, refreshing Kool-Aid from the special pitcher......

"This man is drinking water... (Below threshold)
tony:

"This man is drinking water that he thinks is beer. That's what George Bush wants him to believe. The Republicans want you to believe that your water is beer. And when you're taking a shower, you're really taking a shower in beer. So we're going to get this man a real beer, let him drink it, and that's what we're going to do."

(Of course, you'll have the common decency to pronounce that "do" with a "y" and a drawn out "oo" sound at the end. And that's what we're going to dyooo.)

you see, the kind of real m... (Below threshold)

you see, the kind of real men that support a Kerry administration drink only Zima..

I'd like to buy these guys ... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

I'd like to buy these guys a drink, put it on Teresa's tab.

Mister, another beer for my... (Below threshold)
McCain:

Mister, another beer for my wife please.....

I actually said that this b... (Below threshold)

I actually said that this beer was “less filling”, before I said that it “tastes great”!

My friend will have another... (Below threshold)
D Carter:

My friend will have another beer. I think I'd prefer a King Alfonse, cognac instead of brandy, if you please. Whoa, look there, Brett threw another homerun.

"No sir, He's the one that ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"No sir, He's the one that called in Lambert Field."

(between the G and the Leinenkugels sign, it kinda gives away the locations, though is could also be Michigan UP)

We never had beer like that... (Below threshold)
Master of None:

We never had beer like that in Cambodia

Kerry is "Doing a Lyndie." ... (Below threshold)
George:

Kerry is "Doing a Lyndie." See:
http://badgas.co.uk/lynndie/

"You wanna do my wife too? ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"You wanna do my wife too? Take a number the line forms back there."

And this, this is the trigg... (Below threshold)

And this, this is the trigger finger I used to fire my M-16, my 50 cal, my grenade launcher, my zippo...

John Kerry is politicizing ... (Below threshold)

John Kerry is politicizing the Packer logo, and I will not stand for it.

Where can I get a hat like ... (Below threshold)
Sean:

Where can I get a hat like that guy's?

I didn't say this bar was f... (Below threshold)
Sean:

I didn't say this bar was full of filthy peasants - he did!

I stuck it up there and dam... (Below threshold)
Dave G.:

I stuck it up there and damn if it doesn't sell like Ketchup.

oops...thats smell not sell... (Below threshold)
Dave G.:

oops...thats smell not sell

The beer is for the peasant... (Below threshold)
El Jefe:

The beer is for the peasant in the hat. I'm having whatever Manny Ortez is having.

I didn't fall off the stool... (Below threshold)
sentinel:

I didn't fall off the stool...that sonufabitch pushed me!

Wanna' see the scar ... (Below threshold)
MV_Photon:

Wanna' see the scar from my first Purple Heart? Look under this hangnail!

Pass the beer nuts, Future ... (Below threshold)

Pass the beer nuts, Future Secretary of Beer Nuts.

Hey barkeep,"this g... (Below threshold)
MahaRichie:


Hey barkeep,"this guy says he sits around his house on weekends in his underwear,drinking beer and entering caption contests..."

As TuhRayZuh said the other... (Below threshold)
Andre3000:

As TuhRayZuh said the other day, the common man agrees with me. Only an idiot would think otherwise.

My manservant is carrying c... (Below threshold)
Andre3000:

My manservant is carrying chilled Grey Poupon in which we could dip these pretzels.

"Hey, this guy told me to s... (Below threshold)

"Hey, this guy told me to say Lambert Field so I wouldn't sound 'too French'."

"I don't spill beer. That ... (Below threshold)
Steven L.:

"I don't spill beer. That SOB bumped into me."

So a Presidential candidate... (Below threshold)
Andre3000:

So a Presidential candidate walks into a bar...

This guy reminds me of a CI... (Below threshold)
Andre3000:

This guy reminds me of a CIA agent whose hat I'm carrying. I only show it reluctantly to people prodded into asking me by my staff.

So were you going to ask if you could see my magic hat?

BTW, have I ever told you why I sing Christmas carols in Khmer?

Take my wife..... please.</... (Below threshold)
Shivas Irons:

Take my wife..... please.

John Kerry sitting at the b... (Below threshold)
-S-:

John Kerry sitting at the bar, says to the guy sitting beside him, in response to the guy's challenge:

"No, fella, THAT is right. And you are wrong. Right is that way>."

Kerry to inquiring guy behi... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Kerry to inquiring guy behind the bar:

"You! You go sit down there, and take this guy beside me with you. I want that guy in the black hat sitting next to me! And give everybody my autograph! Hey, first you have to pay for the beer! No get going!"

Kerry to inquiring guy behi... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Kerry to inquiring guy behind the bar:

"You! You go sit down there, and take this guy beside me with you. I want that guy in the black hat sitting next to me! And give everybody my autograph! Hey, first you have to pay for the beer! Now get going!"

Kerry may have had one too ... (Below threshold)
LF:

Kerry may have had one too many beers, as indicated by his answer to the question: "Who in this bar is most qualified to be president?"

"Ok then, so these are buck... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Ok then, so these are buckeyes? right?"

Hey barkeep,"this guy sa... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Hey barkeep,"this guy says he sits around his house on weekends in his underwear,drinking beer and entering caption contests..."

Another underware jockey is born. Nice caption. Now isn't that more cathartic, (and fun) than just complaining about the anarchy?

Hey barkeep,"this guy sa... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Hey barkeep,"this guy says he sits around his house on weekends in his underwear,drinking beer and entering caption contests..."

Another underware jockey is born. Nice caption. Now isn't that more cathartic, (and fun) than just complaining about the anarchy?

Glad to see your pa... (Below threshold)
MahaRichie:


Glad to see your paying attention.

"Here I am trying to watch ... (Below threshold)
Tom:

"Here I am trying to watch the frickin Packers, and this moron comes over talking polo, Jesus Frickin Christ almighty........... Polo..........."

"..."beer", huh? Gosh, that... (Below threshold)
mojo:

"..."beer", huh? Gosh, that's fascinating. Now, could I get a case of Chauteau Auberge carried out to the bus, peasant?"

Hey barkeep,"this guy sa... (Below threshold)
OneDrummer:

Hey barkeep,"this guy says he sits around his house on weekends in his underwear,drinking beer and entering caption contests..."

hey, not too shabby maha. Really. Ya made me smirk with that one...

But are you really in the 'entertainment industry' as you stated in the other post? Us 'comedic geniuses' would like to know.... cuz if you're that good, why not bless us with better material than what ya have been given us? *wink wink nudge nudge*

Yes,OD I am a bless... (Below threshold)
MahaRichie:


Yes,OD I am a blessed to be a full time entertainer.I know I am probably being too critical of you guy's.I just think that it would make for a better contest if the entrants were limited to a few of what they feel are there best creations.If you are truly honest with yourself,you will recognize that most of your submissions are pure crap,and a few are worthy of consideration.It's like panning for gold and trying to slip some sand by as the real thing.I personally would rather see 40 or 50 quality submissions than 150 of mostly self-agrandizing junk.I know it's not my blog,but i have aright to state my opinion.

This beer's a prop.<p... (Below threshold)
PC:

This beer's a prop.

I'm a prop too in my denim shirt.

I'll have a Mint Julip.

Look at the tools in the su... (Below threshold)
PC:

Look at the tools in the suits in the back ground of this photo.

Kerry: "Hey bartender, they don't serve champagne in weird glasses like this on the Cape."

Maha - Naw for you, ... (Below threshold)
OneDrummer:

Maha -
Naw for you, it's more fun bitchin' and moanin', isn't it?

"I am a blessed to be a full time entertainer." - but is your audience blessed? Well, God most certainly has blessed you and the horse your rode in on.

"I know I am probably being too critical of you guy's." - so.. If you know you're being a critical asshat, what prompts you to continue being a critical asshat? Due to your so-called 'professional' line of work you feel compelled to become the caption contest equivalent of Simon Cowell? Your credentials are from where again? Oh, that's right, you're the Blessed F/T entertainer. Got it. You know more than any of the rest of us visitors, or Kevin and Paul.

"I just think that it would make for a better contest if the entrants were limited to a few of what they feel are there best creations." - well, gosh darn, what if we're not ber-ite enuff to know what captions are good and which ones ernt anyhoo? Is there a caption submission board that we pre-submit them too for approval before they are posted? What if we don't want to submit our best for your approval? Mebbe we just is average folk an wanna stay average? I just can't break into the comedy writing thing, I've tried for years and I'm crushed. Guess I'm not 'clever' enough as you put it.

"If you are truly honest with yourself,you will recognize that most of your submissions are pure crap,and a few are worthy of consideration." - ahhh, I've been bestowed grace that at least a few of mine are worthy of consideration. Oh thank you great Maha, thank you.

Let's see, if most of mine are crap, and yet I won this week, then I should be the crappy caption winner? Is that like a crabby patty? :)

I have no doubt that some may or may not like some or even most of my captions, just as some strike me as blah and some as hilarious. To each his own.

"It's like panning for gold and trying to slip some sand by as the real thing." - got it. So explain these grains of sand caught in all of our shoes?

BTW - "Look here you little punk,I'm a war hero.Don't flash any of your gang signs at me!" - is crap.

Umm - "Senator,you are now in a deep state of hypnosis,you will not be able to move,you will not be able to speak,you will never be able to flip-flop again..." - is even worse crap

And - "Mommy told me to tell you thwee things..Shove it...you idiot....Scumbag !" - doesn't even come close to making sense, so it's got to be the crappiest you posted. I'm certainly hoping that when you say you are in the entertainment field, that you aren't a comedy writer or performer. Did you realize you wrote such drivel? The only decent caption you've had was for this thread, which Rodney and I gave you props for. Heck, if you were good, then maybe someone would listen to you?

"I personally would rather see 40 or 50 quality submissions than 150 of mostly self-agrandizing junk." - ahh, once again, something you know about. I'm always amazed at those who want to tout their supposed intellectual, financial or moral superiority over others by putting down those who don't live up to those lofty expectations. Where I grew up, we called those folks SNOBS. What an empty place that must be....

If the 'Comedic Geniuses' made up 30% of the caption posts last week, as you earlier stated, then who else do you propose not be allowed to submit captions to reach your goal of 40-50 maximum? Who are the other 30% that don't meet your requirement, o wise one? Seems to me you want to be the caption censor. It all starts with banning the caption. I thought that conservatives were an inclusive bunch, Maha. Apparently, you're not one of those..... Caption bigot!! Maybe the DU is right, we have bigots among us.

"I know it's not my blog,but i have aright to state my opinion." - yes, you most certainly can. No one stated that you couldn't. Doesn't mean we can't question the validity of your opinion.

As I stated before, to come onto a website as a guest, and to put down the host, how the host runs his site (or caption contest), and to look down your nose and put down others on the site (because they aren't as good or as 'Professional' as you) is basically very poor manners at best. Get over yourself already. You're being a sore loser and whining about something that is silly.

END OF FISK.

"Say, bartender, is there a... (Below threshold)

"Say, bartender, is there a Kinko's in this village? My aide here needs to send another fax."

Buy that french ambasador a... (Below threshold)
Darby:

Buy that french ambasador a beer at the end there. I know he'll convince his government to back me when I'm president... Oh yeah, this gentlemen here is from Germany, and although he doesn't like american beer, I'll buy him one anyways.

*After a brief phone call*<... (Below threshold)
Darby:

*After a brief phone call*

I've changed my mind about it. I don't want to buy these gentlemen any beer. I just heard that their respective governments won't support me as much as they should when I become President... Though I may change my mind again in the near future on this subject.

"How did I get here? Well, ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"How did I get here? Well, it had been a long night of cards and drinking. Clinton says with the bypass that he bet he could do a Lambert Leap. Then Gore says he invented the Lambert Leap. McAuliffe says he's got the Jaegermeister. Carville screams ROADTRIP. Next thing I know I wake up over there with nothing on but a BEARS STILL SUCK T-shirt, my ass shaved, and a chicken duct taped to my head."

"Barkeep, could you go tell... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Barkeep, could you go tell OneDrummer and Maharichie to get a room, I'm tryin' to watch the game. "

Barkeep, don't cut him off ... (Below threshold)
Andy:

Barkeep, don't cut him off before he signs this absentee ballot.

So I says to Schmitty, "Sch... (Below threshold)
Andre3000:

So I says to Schmitty, "Schmitty, they oughtta hold a Presidential elocution once. Just ONCE! 'Nucular' my Brahmin ass!"

Earth To OneDrummer... (Below threshold)
MahaRichie:


Earth To OneDrummer...Wow that was the most Girleymanish diatribe I have ever read.
Now listen closely...Take the ladies panties off your head...smack yourself in the face...AND BE A MAN!!

MahaRinkiedinkperformer...<... (Below threshold)
Andre3000:

MahaRinkiedinkperformer...

Somewhere a birthday party is missing its clown.

I have only one position on... (Below threshold)
fran:

I have only one position on this . I will push in this common man's stool with this finger, then I will push in the stool of all my fellow americans. (Except Michael Moore, the memory of his stool is seared, seared in my mind when I inserted my head up his ass during the convention)

"Okay, last time. What's go... (Below threshold)

"Okay, last time. What's got two thumbs and likes blowjobs? You ready? This guy over here."




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