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A brilliant satire

I've always prided myself on my sense of humor. I've written several satirical pieces for WizBang, and been quite pleased with the reactions they have received. But the standard has been raised. A new humorist has left her mark on WizBang, and I despair of ever reaching her level. Ladies and gentlemen, from the comments section of this posting, I give you Suzie:

you far right nazis with your hate mail and death threats make me sick! well listen up, your chimp is going to lose in a few weeks and then we can crack down on your fascism! the internet should be regulated to stop this real EVIL! not fake evil, like how you try to pain all muslims. how dare you try to intimidate the American people!!! maybe we will find out where you live and bring it on you. you should try THINKING not letting talk-radio fill you with hate and war.
suzie

At first glance, this looks like the typical moonbat leftist ranting. But closer examination shows the fine hand of an artist here. Suzie manages to capture the dichotomies, the contradictions, the paradoxes contained in that variant of liberalism. Let's look again, and rearrange some of her sentiments.

you far right nazis with your hate mail and death threats make me sick!
the internet should be regulated to stop this real EVIL!

well listen up, your chimp is going to lose in a few weeks
you should try THINKING not letting talk-radio fill you with hate and war.

how dare you try to intimidate the American people!!!
maybe we will find out where you live and bring it on you.

Notice how Suzie manages to embody every single evil she accuses us of? We're Nazis, but she wants to regulate free expression on the internet. We're intimidating, but she wants to find out where we live and bring it on us. We're hate-filled, but she calls Bush "our chimp." And so on.

Stupidity and hypocrisy of this scale cannot be accidental. My hat is off to Suzie, the new queen of satire. You've raised the bar to a level I despair of ever being able to touch.

J.


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Comments (32)

subtle & brilliant... I bow... (Below threshold)

subtle & brilliant... I bow before greatness :-)

I don't think I'd take that... (Below threshold)

I don't think I'd take that as a real comment.

It's like a haiku filled wi... (Below threshold)

It's like a haiku filled with bile.

Perhaps Suzie and her tatto... (Below threshold)
Doug Book:

Perhaps Suzie and her tattooed, feminist bunkmate will grace the venue of next weeks' debate! That will put her favorite candidate in solid with the viewing public.

Cheney - Edwards debate was... (Below threshold)
chuck:

Cheney - Edwards debate was our country in microcasim. The Libs act and sound like little kids. While the adult supervision comes from the right.

Gosh Suzie, you convinced m... (Below threshold)
Nomorelies:

Gosh Suzie, you convinced me! Between your brilliant post and the people who stole my Bush/Cheney yard sign .....

When I read Suzieís satire,... (Below threshold)
Vegas Infidel (the worst kind):

When I read Suzieís satire, all I can see is Katrina vanden Heuvalís coffee stained teeth exuding noxious gas as she berates the fascist barista at the Coffee Bean and Tea leaf for screwing up her latte. Brilliant! Scary, but brilliant.

Suzie, honey. What's the m... (Below threshold)
Dan Patterson:

Suzie, honey. What's the matter? Has someone sent you death threats and hate mail? If they did they are asses and you shouldn't fret about it. You are free to express your feelings even if they are not based on anything but repressed sexual desire. Or something.

Now, about your maniacal ravings: Nothing you have written is remotely connected to reality, sweetie. You wrote

"...and then we can crack down on your fascism! the internet should be regulated to stop this real EVIL! not fake evil, like how you try to pain all muslims. how dare you try to intimidate the American people!!!"

Fascism is the suppression of individuality in favor of a strong centralized government; something on the order of removing liberty (your freedom to rant and rave, for example) in favor of brutality and fear (beheading Infidels and stoning adultresses like the regime in Iraq pre-Bush). See honey, dictators are fascist, like the muslim extremists and Taliban goobers are. Like Mussollini was. Like Castro is. People like Jimmy Carter extend a warm hug to these people, showing them a friendly way to oppress and starve their people. Now, that's not a good way to let freedom ring, is it?

The internet regulation concept is a fun one to toss around the coffee shop, but it is exactly that freedom of expression that many others believe is God-given, like other liberties we enjoy. Those liberties bought by the blood and pain of good and honorable people.

Now, given the tone of your note, whom is trying to oppress whom, and what intimidation is taking place?

The "...maybe we will find out where you live..." comment is also very interesting. What would you do, exactly? You are welcome to reply to the e-mail and I'll give you my addresss, phone number, etc. and maybe we could meet at your convenience and work this out between us. No need to spill bile all over the place and have people think you are a raving fool. Is there?

Now go lie down and sleep sweet dreams of Constituitionaly protected freedoms, brought to by the sacrifice and labor of many good men and women. Remember this thought, just as you are drifting off: "The United States Constituition, Liberty, and freedom are good, and the US Military helps protect that goodness. Socialism, communism, Nazis, Fascists, dictators, and oppression are bad for children and other living things."

Vote for Bush.

Dan Patterson

Is it possible that Suzie i... (Below threshold)
Monica:

Is it possible that Suzie is really Hillary Clinton?

i bet she takes it up the b... (Below threshold)
hotrod:

i bet she takes it up the bass

Wow...I mean, really, just ... (Below threshold)

Wow...I mean, really, just wow. The nuance. The humanity. The bold lines slashing across the canvas ripping and tearing at the very fabric of my right of center beliefs. I've been enlightened.

I laughed, I cried, I saw God. Thank you Suzie. Thank you so much.

Just hold me...'k?

/end sarcasm...for the challenged

Wow. Who needs a triple sho... (Below threshold)

Wow. Who needs a triple shot of Viagra when you get comments like that?

The best I get on my site is
Your a retart!!!!!!!

Oh if you knew Suzie/like w... (Below threshold)

Oh if you knew Suzie/like we know Suzie...

Is there any chance we can her to post on here *after* the election? I mean, if she's like this now, what will she be like after Bush *wins*?

If her head is spinning around and she's vomiting green goo, is it still considered "satire"?

What is Latin for: Left Win... (Below threshold)

What is Latin for: Left Wing Wacko?

Kimberly,Only if t... (Below threshold)
Vegas Infidel (the worst kind):

Kimberly,

Only if the person sitting next to her says "I don't know" first.

Suzie must be a Kerry-Edwar... (Below threshold)
Jim:

Suzie must be a Kerry-Edwards Campaign advisor. She has as much brilliance and insight as the best of them. Also, someone please tell Suzie that today's Rasmussen tracking poll shows: Bush 50%
Kerry 46%. The pollster says this is the first time Rasmussen shows either candidate at 50 percent all year.

http://www.rasmussenreports.com/Presidential_Tracking_Poll.htm

You guys missed, I think, t... (Below threshold)

You guys missed, I think, the most beautiful and otherworldly line of her post:

"...and then we can crack down on your fascism!"

That, my friends, is the work of an artist, and someone who has yet to look up the word "fascism" in a dictionary.

I wouldn't want to be with... (Below threshold)
Steel Turman:

I wouldn't want to be within a ten mie radius of
Suzie on 11/3. At least I HOPE the blast zone will
be that small. KABOOB.

I got one like that yesterd... (Below threshold)
Dodd:

I got one like that yesterday, too - though it was not nearly so sublime. Still, I was as proud as a peacock to be considered worthy of left-wing infiltration.

Oh my gosh, you're absolute... (Below threshold)
DBub:

Oh my gosh, you're absolutely right! I completely discounted that post. Suzie you are genious!

On one of the gaming boards... (Below threshold)

On one of the gaming boards some years ago a particularly inarticulate individual posted a comment denouncing another person so vigorously that she invented a new word. The thread lived for a year, mutating and infecting other threads that became too vitriolic to sustain rational discussion. The word she invented: osmethne!

In the spirit of inarticulate irrational obsession, I present Wizbang with this word:

OSMETHNE!

Here's hoping that next month we can overcome the influence of the osmethne Left.

You know suzie left almost ... (Below threshold)

You know suzie left almost the exact same post over at INDC Journal, right?

You know suzie left almo... (Below threshold)
julie:

You know suzie left almost the exact same post over at INDC Journal, right?

Are saying Suzie is cheating on Jay??!!

You know suzie left almo... (Below threshold)
Lysander:

You know suzie left almost the exact same post over at INDC Journal, right?

LOL, not only is "Suzie" a bigot and fascist (the two aren't the same things, though usually go hand-in-hand) it's a spammer, too.

Congratulations, Spammer "Suzie." I hope you enjoy your status as a spammer as much as you enjoy your bigotry. Y'know, instead of whining all over other people's websites, call your parents. They love you, they really do. Then again, they're probably the only ones who do.

You know suzie left almost ... (Below threshold)
Kernel Bill:

You know suzie left almost the exact same post over at INDC Journal, right?

Are saying Suzie is cheating on Jay??!!


------

Isn't that just like a liberal? Infatuation...but only for a little while. Then Filp-Flop to someone or something else!

Well I have a guy named Spi... (Below threshold)

Well I have a guy named Spine over at my blog and hes as bad as Suzi, maybe I should introduce them and they could make some little moonbats.

WHAT AM I SAYING??????????????

Well, all I can add is that... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Well, all I can add is that I'm glad you and most of us site owners have I.P. Addresses for reference with comments.

AND that I spell my nickname, "Suzy," so hopefully, no one will confuse me with *others* with similar sounding, um, names.

Yeah, I've had similar sorts of comments as "Suzie's" on my own blog and I just delete them. Actually, some written on my site are far worse if you can imagine that. "Kevin" comes to mind and then there's the notorious "anonymous" who writes about, well, it's just bad what he writes, just plain insane.

Ha, according to "Kevin" wr... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Ha, according to "Kevin" writing on my site, my "wrists must be like grapefruits" and my "bedroom with pink, fuzzy animals..."

Verra creepy stuff.

I just read the earlier thr... (Below threshold)
-S-:

I just read the earlier thread, original comments as they appeared in the thread...eek. I noticed that "Suzie"'s user I.D. linked to the DNC website for Kerry, so no surprise there.

More evidence of who the Kerry supporters are. Again: scary.

The Kerry/Edwards campaign is truly a "slip and fall" process: they appear anywhere, everywhere, complain about their slip and fall, find reason to 'sue' regardless. It's as if it's a campaign filled with Trial Lawyers! Hey, whaddyaknow, it IS!

Are we sure that "Suzie" is... (Below threshold)
Nomorelies:

Are we sure that "Suzie" isn't Barbra Streisand in disguise?

Remeber the caption contest... (Below threshold)
D:

Remeber the caption contest just after the RNC? The one with the girl with the vacant stare, holding the blank sign, and we had to fill in the blank...?

I wonder if "Suzie" isn't... Naw, not even possible... Is it?

Wow,Incredible to ... (Below threshold)
Mark:

Wow,

Incredible to see one "post" create so much rhetoric...Unfortunately the problem with the Internet is "who is Suzie??"

For all we know "Suzie" is a 14 year old boy that is bored with his fundamentalist upbringing and looking for fun...

Actually when you look at W's campaign methodology through time....Attacks on McCain (Hires homos, adopts black kids, ignored Vets) or Richards (Lesbian, posting of flyers on cars with images of men kissing, she hires homos etc.)

It does a credible job of mimicking the W machine...Heck, W had us so afraid we invaded a country that on the day of the invasion had no WMD's and virtually no operating conventional weapons, no Army, no means to build an Army, no infrastructure, 80% unemployment, 80% inflation, 60% below poverty level....

So I'm sure we can make a case to fear "Suzie". Oh that's right, he used gas on his own people...In 1988...

Yaaay!! We kicked the crap out of the crippled kid in the wheelchair...So where's the man that actually attacked the U.S.??? Oh yeah, he's not important now...

Sounds like the redneck that kicks the sh-t out of Bob because Fred slept with the rednecks wife....Heck, eventually Bob was gonna do it too!




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