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Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners

This weeks Weekend Caption Contest™ again had a boatload of entries. Two musical numbers stood out, as you'll see below...

Here are the winning captions for following photo:

Marilyn Newton/Marilyn Newton 
HEINZ KERRY IN RENO: Teresa Heinz Kerry makes a point Thursday at the Neil Road Recreation Center.


1) (jmaster) - "During a campaign stop at the Berkeley Home for Burned Out Hippies, Terreza Heinz Kerry tries to recapture the karma of their glory days by leading the patients in song:

And its vone, two, fthree,
vhat are vee fightink for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
Next stop vill be Iran,

Vell, eets, five, zeex, zeven,
open up the pearly gates
Vell, there ain't no time, to vonder vhy,
Voopee, ve're all goink to die!
"

2) (McGehee) - "Aren't I rich?
Do you like my hair?
Me up here where I belong,
You way out there.
Send in the clown.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
My John keeps spinning around,
But his polls don't move.
Where is the clown?
Send in the clown.

Just when I'd stopped beating the help,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my horrible hair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd give me what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where is the clown?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, he's here.
"

3) (spacemonkey) - "And Bush doesn't want you to be able get cheap raisins and gin from Canada."

Honorable Mention

4) (Aaron's Rantblog) - "And this shaky hand is the one I use to brush my hair."

5) (JAB) - "Vell, I umped about dis high off da floor . . . I mean I haven't been goosed like dat since the Clinton Administwation. And dat's the last indaview I will evah give Bill O'Wiley!"

6) (Patrick Lasswell) - "Proving conclusively that she will be a change of pace from Laura Bush, Ms. Heinz-Kerry championed her new look, 'Rode Hard and Put Up Wet!'"

And the best non caption caption goes to Rodney Dill:

Our opponent displays a certain disingenuity in his plans, his strategies, and in his creativity to succeed. He displays a certain knack for NOT being able to get the job done. He doesn't have the skills, the knowledge, nor especially the timing for the job. He resents our popularity and can't handle the truth that others don't flock to his values and beliefs. He has resorted to vicious lies and personal attacks when confronted with the blunt truth... What, No I'm not talking Dubya and the presidential election, I'm tellin' you about MamaBitchie and the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest.

All complaints will be cheerfully forwarded to /dev/null.

Until next Friday...


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» Aaron's Rantblog, aka Aaron the Liberal Slayer linked with Wizbang Photo Caption - Honorable Mentions

Comments (12)

Wow! Not only did I break i... (Below threshold)

Wow! Not only did I break into the top three, but Rodney didn't! Whoo-hoo!

Yes, I've been jealous. Does it show much?

"Shaddap!" he explained. ;)... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Shaddap!" he explained. ;)

Well deserved wins for the top captions, this contest just keeps getting better, and harder.

Sorry I missed the contest ... (Below threshold)

Sorry I missed the contest but here's my entry:

You take a quart of gin and mix in a box of white raisens. Then you throw out the raisens and drink the gin.

Roscoe

Thanks for picking a good p... (Below threshold)
Regular Wizreader:

Thanks for picking a good photo and providing the space for us all to have fun with it, but if this is a "caption" contest, how come your top two aren't even remotely captions? Actually, I'm not complaining. It was fun, so many of the entries were really clever and I'll know next time I don't have to be brief in a way that would fit under a newspaper photo.

I'm looking forward to next weeks' contest. The high quality this week shows the Wiz posters are really on the ball. But I knew that already.

Sorry guys. I'm just too go... (Below threshold)

Sorry guys. I'm just too good.

Contestants tread into song... (Below threshold)

Contestants tread into song parody ground at great risk to life and limb, since (historically) they've seldom won...

We use "caption" in the most expansive sense - thought bubbles, news captions, song parodies, etc. are all valid.

Given the monkey theme (all... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Given the monkey theme (all respect and appreciation for spacemonkey's win, donchyaknow), I suggest that Jon Stewart be our next Wiz! caption contest, um, material.

I too have felt that interp... (Below threshold)
jmaster:

I too have felt that interpretation of the word ďcaptionĒ was sometimes a bit loose. And I have also been troubled by multiple entries made by some posters.

After some internal struggles, I have resolved these issues as follows:

1). I enter multiple times.

2). I enter with what I consider to be ďnon-caption captionsĒ.

Its been quite liberating!

But most importantly, I keep in mind that this ainít my blog. Kevin and the Wizbang! gang rule supreme here.

I imagine it can sometimes be a chore sorting through this mess. I appreciate the opportunity they give us all to have a little fun.

All that being said, I am most grateful for the honor bestowed upon me this week. Until next Monday, I am the greatest person in the world!

Country Joe ACTUALLY emaile... (Below threshold)

Country Joe ACTUALLY emailed me compliments about my spoof of his "Feel Like I'm Fixin' to Die Rag". See comment #10. Photoshopping and hyperlinked lyrics here.

Unlinked lyrics here, for you lazy folk:

The Kerry Cheer & I-Feel-Like-Iím-Fixiní-To-Decide Rag

Gimme an F!
F!

Gimme an L!
L!

Gimme an I!
I!

Gimme an P!
P!

Whatís that spell ?
Flip!

Whatís that spell ?
Flop!

Whatís that spell ?
What the fuck do you want it to spell?!?!?!

Yeah, MoveOn all of you, liberal men,
Osama needs your help again.
Heís got himself in a terrible jam
ĎDidja know I served in Vietnam?
So put on your burqa and appease the Jihad,
We donít want to make the U.N. mad.

And itís one, two, three,
What am I running for ?
Donít quote me, I donít have a clue,
I got three medals or was it two?
And itís five, six, seven,
Democratic candidates,
Well there ainít no time to wonder why,
Elect me! weíre all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, letís move fast;
Your surrender has come at last.
Gotta go out and scream like Teds
The only good Republican is the one whoís dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When Americans are on the run.

And itís one, two, three,
What am I running for ?
Donít quote me, I donít have a clue,
I got three medals or was it two?
And itís five, six, seven,
Democratic candidates,
Well there ainít no time to wonder why,
Elect me! weíre all gonna die.

Huh!

Well, Bush is Hitler, donít you know,
Why Michael Moore, he told us so.
Thereís lots oí U.N. bribes to be paid
By denying the Army with the tools of their trade,
Iíll hope and pray that when they dirty bomb me,
They donít drop it on my SUV.

And itís one, two, three,
What am I running for ?
Donít quote me, I donít have a clue,
I got three medals or was it two?
And itís five, six, seven,
Democratic candidates,
Well there ainít no time to wonder why,
Elect me! weíre all gonna die.

Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Burqa up and clip your framazam.
Come on fathers, donít hesitate,
Learn to honor kill before itís too late.
Be the first one on your street
To submit to the Religion of Peace.

And itís one, two, three,
What am I running for ?
Donít quote me, I donít have a clue,
I got three medals or was it two?
And itís five, six, seven,
Democratic candidates,
Well there ainít no time to wonder why,
Elect me! weíre all gonna die.

Contestants tread into s... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Contestants tread into song parody ground at great risk to life and limb, since (historically) they've seldom won...

I'd complain about the judging, but that would just be sour, gin soaked, raisins.

TuhRAYzuh explains to the c... (Below threshold)
Andre3000:

TuhRAYzuh explains to the crowd that she and The Donald visit the same unisex hair salon.

Congratulations!It ... (Below threshold)
MahaRichie:


Congratulations!It seems the creative quality of the "captions" is improving,and finally the judges are responding.
Still there are so many(you know who you are)"throw it at the wall and see if it sticks""captions",by ego-driven "geniuses".Let' just call it what it is..'clutter'.If these self-proclaimed Einsteins of creativity would just stop trying to amuse themselves,and consider the rest of us who read these lame and boring comments weekly.
Sit back relax and only submit your best few entries after giving some true thought to make them competitive.
Oh...and these long(and very boring) song parodies...substituting your own words into someone else's creation is lame and weak.Make up your own friggin' song.AND GET A JOB !




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