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Weekend Caption Contest™ - Bush Edition

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. This week there are two contests, one for a Bush photo and one for a Kerry photo.

REUTERS/Jason Reed US ELECTION


Winners will be announced Sunday.


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Comments (66)

"I'll never hesitate to def... (Below threshold)

"I'll never hesitate to defend America...as you can see from the ass-whupping I just put on this pumpkin."

"This is what the flag will... (Below threshold)
Attwood:

"This is what the flag will look like if Ohio doesn't swing for Bush/Cheney."

"...And whoever can carve m... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"...And whoever can carve me a perfect likeness of John (Gomer Pyle) Kerry, and John (pretty boy) Edwards, gets to be Secretary of Agriculture."

And now for the Special Hal... (Below threshold)
Boyd:

And now for the Special Halloween Edition of my Gallagher impression...

You in the white hat...watch out!

"Screw that Gin and Raisin ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Screw that Gin and Raisin crap, Pumpkin-jack will cure what ail's ya."

"And another thing about my... (Below threshold)
Troll:

"And another thing about my opponent... HEEEEEE'S A BOWL OF SQUASH!"

My opponent will outlaw pum... (Below threshold)
Kieth:

My opponent will outlaw pumpkin carving... PUMPKIN CARVING. We need a constitutional amendment...

These pumkins were taken by... (Below threshold)

These pumkins were taken by special opps last night from one of the Kerry mansions.. as you can see the staff carved a W in one proving that working people in America support me, even those that work for the Kerry's..

last night we stole pupmkin... (Below threshold)

last night we stole pupmkins from the Kerry mansion tonight we TP the Edwards estate!!!!!

Sure, my opponent's head is... (Below threshold)
IChaplain:

Sure, my opponent's head is bigger. But as you can see my head has a message.

"I see that Ted Kennedy see... (Below threshold)

"I see that Ted Kennedy seems to have left his head here on the stage."

"And just to prove I'm seri... (Below threshold)

"And just to prove I'm serious, here's my replacements for Powell and Boucher in 2005."

"See folks...just like the ... (Below threshold)

"See folks...just like the 509th Composite Group did for practice in World War II, we'll drop these PUMPKINS on Iran and North Korea first before we hit 'em with THE REAL THING!"

Bush v. Gourd 2004... (Below threshold)
MichaelW:

Bush v. Gourd 2004

George Bush thanked his luc... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

George Bush thanked his lucky stars that he had resolved his issues with Dick Cheney's daughter, but now he still struggled with his own personal demons and was forced to weigh the political ramifications as it slowly dawned on him that he had scheduled a campaign stop in a Hay Bar

Our efforts to spread democ... (Below threshold)
Sam Baskinger:

Our efforts to spread democracy and freedom have most recently liberated these two gords from a fate involving an oven of mass convection. Monday my administration will ask the UN security council to impose sanctions on farmer brown.

"And I invite Y'all to join... (Below threshold)

"And I invite Y'all to join me in the pumpkin patch Saturday night as we await the arrival of the The Great Pumpkin! Who's with me?"

Our efforts to spread democ... (Below threshold)
Sam Baskinger:

Our efforts to spread democracy and freedom have most recently liberated these two gords from a fate involving an oven of mass convection. Monday my administration will ask the UN security council to impose sanctions on farmer brown.

Our efforts to spread democ... (Below threshold)
Sam Baskinger:

Our efforts to spread democracy and freedom have most recently liberated these two gords from a fate involving an oven of mass convection. Monday my administration will ask the UN security council to impose sanctions on farmer brown.

I carved the littler punkin... (Below threshold)
chthus:

I carved the littler punkin with the smiley face, and my opponent didn't even show up to carve his. Who you gonna vote for?

"I'm so glad to be here tod... (Below threshold)
Rance:

"I'm so glad to be here today, and proud to share be sharing the podium with the Vice President and Senator Zell Miller."

My opponent then said he ca... (Below threshold)
andre3000:

My opponent then said he carved his pumpkin before he DIDN'T carve his pumpkin.

"At this time, I'd like to ... (Below threshold)
moseby:

"At this time, I'd like to introduce the rarely seen 4th party candidates that Govenor Rendell forced off the ballot. You see...he was afraid they would steal votes from the Kerry/Edwards ticket..."

"Unlike my opponent over th... (Below threshold)
LargeBill:

"Unlike my opponent over there, my tan is real."

"These gourds will surely v... (Below threshold)

"These gourds will surely vote for meeeeeeeeeee!"

George Bush amazes the Texa... (Below threshold)

George Bush amazes the Texas crowd with his amazing shadow puppet - of the American Flag - in Color!!

Okay, maybe I'm not as good a speaker as my pumpkin opponents but I have heart.

Bush, seeing an opportunity... (Below threshold)
Tripped:

Bush, seeing an opportunity to get more women voters stepped up into Martha Steward’s shoes and did a demonstration on how to decorate for Halloween. “When carving a pumpkin you need to be sure to use a flexible knife, but not one that tends to flip flop to much”.

Bush, seeing an opportunity... (Below threshold)
Tripped:

Bush, seeing an opportunity to get more women voters stepped up into Martha Steward’s shoes and did a demonstration on how to decorate for Halloween. “When carving a pumpkin you need to be sure to use a flexible knife, but not one that tends to flip flop to much”.

"This is your head. This is... (Below threshold)
Halloweenie:

"This is your head. This is your head if you vote Kerry"

"And my opponent, Pumpkin H... (Below threshold)
Jim:

"And my opponent, Pumpkin Head, is your garden variety Liberal pumpkin head."

"These two are just like my... (Below threshold)
Jay Swash:

"These two are just like my opponents... on is useless and full of mush, and the other is pretty but completely hollow!"

"These two are just like my... (Below threshold)
Jay Swash:

"These two are just like my opponents... on is useless and full of mush, and the other is pretty but completely hollow!"

The President did much bett... (Below threshold)
DBub:

The President did much better in debate number four... but still lost.

My opponent over there, oh ... (Below threshold)

My opponent over there, oh wait. Heh. Sorry. Got confused. That poor punkin looks nothing like Kerry. Skin color's right, but the punkin's face is way too short.

In may, my opponent was gre... (Below threshold)
george:

In may, my opponent was green. Now, when it's election season, he's become orange. If elected, I'm sure he will return to his true color; red.

...and this star represents... (Below threshold)

...and this star represents Texas, where you can carve John Kerry's head like a Jack-o-Lantern...and I'll help.

...and this star represents... (Below threshold)

...and this star represents Texas, where you can carve John Kerry's head like a Jack-o-Lantern...and I'll help.

...and this star represents... (Below threshold)

...and this star represents Texas, where you can carve John Kerry's head like a Jack-o-Lantern...and I'll help.

Trick or Treating...folks.<... (Below threshold)

Trick or Treating...folks.
It's Hard work. And, we're working hard at it.

Despite the continual rumor... (Below threshold)
Tig:

Despite the continual rumors flowing out of my opponent's camp to the otherwise, I do too know the difference between the flag and a pumpkin.

On my left, my esteemed opp... (Below threshold)
Carl:

On my left, my esteemed opponent, John Kerry!

Ladies and Gentlemen, here'... (Below threshold)

Ladies and Gentlemen, here's Gallagher with a nice visual to remind everyone how I deal with terrorists...Gallagher!

Shucks, I told you we shoul... (Below threshold)
chas:

Shucks, I told you we should've had this debate before midnight, look what happened to my opponent!

"...and so I judo chopped t... (Below threshold)

"...and so I judo chopped the pumpkin like this"

"These two pumpkin... (Below threshold)
MahaRichie:


"These two pumpkins have a better chance of 'defending America' then do my two opponents".

Y'all recognize this here A... (Below threshold)

Y'all recognize this here American Flag. Do you see a hammer & sickle on it? Do you see any high-fallutin' UN or EU symbols on it? No sir. I look at this flag, I see pride, I see principle, I see more than two centuries of hard-fought American history that created the strongest, freest and best nation on earth. John Kerry sees toilet paper fresh for the next wipe.

What am I bid for these fin... (Below threshold)
Joe:

What am I bid for these fine pumpkins? For the carved one, do I hear $1,000? Going once...going twice...

"So I took my hand, did lik... (Below threshold)
Joe:

"So I took my hand, did like _so_" (makes karate gesture), "chopped into that sucker, and did a perfect carve with my secret kung fu powers! Let's see my opponent do so much with his magic hat..."

"Now, if you'll bear with m... (Below threshold)
Tim in PA:

"Now, if you'll bear with me for a a moment, imagine that pumpkin sitting right over there is John Kerry's head. Yes, that big one..."

Looks like these two have t... (Below threshold)

Looks like these two have the same stylist as Senator Kerry!

And then I put my hand like... (Below threshold)
LF:

And then I put my hand like this, and Cheney hit another note on that electrical organ he had. And then the alien ship blasted out the same tone at us, smashed up the windows on the control towers somethin fierce! In the silence that followed, the belly of the ship opened up, and out of a blinding light came a bunch of midget aliens. They all sort of put their hands on me, and I kind of floated for a bit there. Uhhh . . . what was I saying?

During Senator Kerry's back... (Below threshold)
Charlie Satchfield:

During Senator Kerry's background investigation, he discovered I own a punkin patch.

Wanna buy some punkins?

Bush unveils new stealth "... (Below threshold)
Idris:

Bush unveils new stealth "nu-ku-lar" bunker busters.

Bush unveils new stealth "... (Below threshold)
Idris:

Bush unveils new stealth "nu-kul-ar" bunker busters.

Bush is very passionate in ... (Below threshold)
Branna:

Bush is very passionate in his love FOR his country. Therefore my caption would be...

"Now is the time to ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country."

Rumsfeld's pranks on George... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Rumsfeld's pranks on George often went unnoticed as the President did not react to Saddam, in the front row, under the white hat.

"So, folks, here are two... (Below threshold)
-S-:

"So, folks, here are two pumpkins.

That smaller one over there is Senator Kerry's."

Bush:"See? I m... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Bush:

"See? I made the pie higher!"

President George W. Bush al... (Below threshold)
JAB:

President George W. Bush alleges voter fraud in Ohio by producing two pumpkins registered as Democrat voters in Bucks County. Neither pumpkin would comment on the allegation.

This here first pumpkin is ... (Below threshold)
Jim:

This here first pumpkin is your brain on conservative ideology. Purty aint it? Now look at that second ugly little twisted sucker, that one is your brain on the stuff that John Kerry has been smokin!

snicker

And of course, I wouldn't b... (Below threshold)

And of course, I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for my two closest advisors, Vice President Cheney and Secretary Rumsfeld over here...

So you'll be able to recogn... (Below threshold)
Linus:

So you'll be able to recognize my opponents after Nov. 2nd...

The gala was in full swing ... (Below threshold)

The gala was in full swing as the noble POTUS thanked his guests for coming. Suddenly the clock struck twelve, and Sir John found himself at once darkly confined in his once roomy carriage... and strangely covered in seeds.

"The 388 Tons of high explo... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"The 388 Tons of high explosives wasn't stolen or missing. The stuff is so stable and pliable I've had it all molded into Jack-O-Lanterns for children all across this great country. All you they have to do is make sure to keep them away from flame...WHADDYA MEAN THEY STILL USE REAL CANDLES!

"With two of the most liber... (Below threshold)
JAB:

"With two of the most liberal voting records in Congress, both John Kerry and John Edwards have consistently misrepresented themselves in this election race. The truth is they're just like those two pumpkins . . . a head full of mush, no vision for the future, and you can't get them to tell you where they stand."

"In lieu of me attending th... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"In lieu of me attending the funeral, the US is sending these two festive urns for Arafat's ashes."




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