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Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin

Published: November 12, 2004 - 2:36 PM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.

Professional Santa Claus performers attend a training day at the 'Ministry of Fun's Santa School' at Southwark Cathedral in London, November 1, 2004. The 'Ministry of Fun,' which provides Santa Claus performers for Christmas grottos, hosted the event for 35 Santas on Monday, with the aim of highlighting and turning around what they claim is a decline in demand for their services during the festive period. REUTERS/Toby Melville


Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

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Comments (107)

- Erm...I'm guessing I made... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Hunter | November 12, 2004 2:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hunter:

- Erm...I'm guessing I made a mistake and this isn't the audition line for the Victoria's Secrets Christmas catalog....

1. Posted by Hunter | November 12, 2004 2:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:43

"But it's equal opportunit... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Sailorette | November 12, 2004 2:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sailorette:

"But it's equal opportunity!"

2. Posted by Sailorette | November 12, 2004 2:45 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:45

Ho ho ho. Who wouldn't go?... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by andre3000 | November 12, 2004 2:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
andre3000:

Ho ho ho. Who wouldn't go?

3. Posted by andre3000 | November 12, 2004 2:46 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:46

Christmas on MSNBC - "Singi... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Jennifer | November 12, 2004 2:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jennifer:

Christmas on MSNBC - "Singing Pundits"
from left to right: Keith Olbermann, Larry O'Donnell, Joe Scarburough, RON REAGAN, Joe Trippi and Chris Matthews.

4. Posted by Jennifer | November 12, 2004 2:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:47

Crystal blushed as she real... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 2:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Crystal blushed as she realized the contest was which Santa had the best "Ho Ho Ho," not which was the best Santa Ho.

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 2:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:47

"Putting the 'ho' back in '... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Jay Tea | November 12, 2004 2:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jay Tea:

"Putting the 'ho' back in 'ho ho ho!"

J.

6. Posted by Jay Tea | November 12, 2004 2:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:48

"One of these things is not... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Jay Tea | November 12, 2004 2:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jay Tea:

"One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong..."

J.

7. Posted by Jay Tea | November 12, 2004 2:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:49

"Who wants to come sit in <... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Adam Wood | November 12, 2004 2:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Adam Wood:

"Who wants to come sit in mylap?"

8. Posted by Adam Wood | November 12, 2004 2:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:52

"Alright, which one of you ... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 2:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Alright, which one of you clowns took the North Pole

9. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 2:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:52

"No, I've got a better idea... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Phil Smith | November 12, 2004 2:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Phil Smith:

"No, I've got a better idea. YOU sit on MY lap, and I'll give YOU a present."

10. Posted by Phil Smith | November 12, 2004 2:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:53

Proving once again, that de... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by andre3000 | November 12, 2004 2:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
andre3000:

Proving once again, that despite being unable to regulate their temperature indoors, women can go bare legged in the harshest of outdoor conditions.

11. Posted by andre3000 | November 12, 2004 2:55 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:55

Veronica knew she was going... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by SteveL | November 12, 2004 2:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SteveL:

Veronica knew she was going to be the top fund raiser among the charity santas this year.

12. Posted by SteveL | November 12, 2004 2:59 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:59

...and for those of you who... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by The other JD | November 12, 2004 2:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The other JD:

...and for those of you who have been REALLY bad...

13. Posted by The other JD | November 12, 2004 2:59 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 14:59

...and for those of you who... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by The other JD | November 12, 2004 3:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The other JD:

...and for those of you who have been REALLY bad...

14. Posted by The other JD | November 12, 2004 3:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:00

Some felt that the "don't a... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by player of blues | November 12, 2004 3:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
player of blues:

Some felt that the "don't ask, don't tell" policy of the Santa's Helper Corps may be in need of further review

15. Posted by player of blues | November 12, 2004 3:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:08

PLEASE, tell me her ... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by jmaster | November 12, 2004 3:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jmaster:

PLEASE, tell me her beard isn't real.....

16. Posted by jmaster | November 12, 2004 3:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:11

when flat-chested girls get... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by moseby | November 12, 2004 3:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
moseby:

when flat-chested girls get denied at Hooters....

17. Posted by moseby | November 12, 2004 3:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:12

- ....Oh and Ronni you'll b... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Hunter | November 12, 2004 3:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hunter:

- ....Oh and Ronni you'll be covering the Rosie O'Donnell Christmas bash....Any questions?

18. Posted by Hunter | November 12, 2004 3:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:17

OK Miss, this is when we sl... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Joe R. the Unabrewer | November 12, 2004 3:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Joe R. the Unabrewer:

OK Miss, this is when we slide down the chimney. I'll go first.

19. Posted by Joe R. the Unabrewer | November 12, 2004 3:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:20

A song comes to mind. Hmmm... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Jim Price | November 12, 2004 3:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jim Price:

A song comes to mind. Hmmm..."One of these things, ain't like the others."

20. Posted by Jim Price | November 12, 2004 3:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:25

Nothing says "Merry Christm... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Jinx McHue | November 12, 2004 3:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jinx McHue:

Nothing says "Merry Christmas, boys and girls!" like stiletto heels.

21. Posted by Jinx McHue | November 12, 2004 3:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:38

There was the briefest stun... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Michael Seifert | November 12, 2004 3:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Michael Seifert:

There was the briefest stunned silence when the newest Santa asked if the experienced men could give her 'lap sitting lessons'. . . chaos ensued shortly after

22. Posted by Michael Seifert | November 12, 2004 3:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:51

"A dozen protestors showed ... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by tony | November 12, 2004 3:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tony:

"A dozen protestors showed up at the statehouse today, protesting Ohio's new 'Defense of Santa Amendment'."

23. Posted by tony | November 12, 2004 3:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:53

Cindy Lou Who, who is now 2... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by SteveL | November 12, 2004 3:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SteveL:

Cindy Lou Who, who is now 22, joins to Santa Brigade to reclaim Whoville from that foul Grinch.

24. Posted by SteveL | November 12, 2004 3:58 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 15:58

Nicole Kidman hasn't had he... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Editor | November 12, 2004 4:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Editor:

Nicole Kidman hasn't had her fill of 10-year old boys.

25. Posted by Editor | November 12, 2004 4:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 16:02

Will the real Dick Cheney, ... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Tom | November 12, 2004 4:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom:

Will the real Dick Cheney, please stand up.....

26. Posted by Tom | November 12, 2004 4:04 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 16:04

Having gained considerable ... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 4:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Having gained considerable knowledge in the art of "Naughty or Nice" enticements, Lyndie England, chose to apply her new skills toward more gainful endeavors.

27. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 4:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 16:08

At least he's an honest San... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Iam Doubt | November 12, 2004 4:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Iam Doubt:

At least he's an honest Santa!

28. Posted by Iam Doubt | November 12, 2004 4:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 16:35

"Santa Claus is coming to t... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Eric | November 12, 2004 4:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric:

"Santa Claus is coming to town"

29. Posted by Eric | November 12, 2004 4:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 16:49

Andy Dick loses yet another... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Laurence Simon | November 12, 2004 4:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

Andy Dick loses yet another bet with Tom Green.

30. Posted by Laurence Simon | November 12, 2004 4:55 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 16:55

Coming this December: Bill ... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by McGehee | November 12, 2004 5:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

Coming this December: Bill Clinton in Bad Santa II!

31. Posted by McGehee | November 12, 2004 5:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:02

Ho, Ho, Holy shit Santa had... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by Maddog | November 12, 2004 5:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maddog:

Ho, Ho, Holy shit Santa had a sex change!

Maddog

32. Posted by Maddog | November 12, 2004 5:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:05

The outgoing Governor of Ne... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Teflon93 | November 12, 2004 5:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Teflon93:

The outgoing Governor of New Jersey spiced up the otherwise staid Governors' Christmas Photo Op.

33. Posted by Teflon93 | November 12, 2004 5:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:07

The "Don't ask,Don't tell' ... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Doug McGie | November 12, 2004 5:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Doug McGie:

The "Don't ask,Don't tell' policy takes hold across all corporate America

34. Posted by Doug McGie | November 12, 2004 5:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:11

Jenna Jameson decides to ma... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by KBiel | November 12, 2004 5:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
KBiel:

Jenna Jameson decides to make a holiday movie.

35. Posted by KBiel | November 12, 2004 5:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:18

"My ass is freezing...!<... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Queenie | November 12, 2004 5:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Queenie:

"My ass is freezing...!

36. Posted by Queenie | November 12, 2004 5:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:18

"Vixen! Back to the sleigh... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Maureen | November 12, 2004 5:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maureen:

"Vixen! Back to the sleigh!"

37. Posted by Maureen | November 12, 2004 5:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:27

Yes, vagina, there is a San... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Jeff | November 12, 2004 5:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Yes, vagina, there is a Santa Claus.

38. Posted by Jeff | November 12, 2004 5:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:36

Despite having serv... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by MahaRichie | November 12, 2004 5:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MahaRichie:


Despite having serviced her 35 husbands prior to their long global journey,Mrs Claus shows absolutely no symptoms of developing 'bowlegs'.

39. Posted by MahaRichie | November 12, 2004 5:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:37

Silk Stocking Stuffers... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 12, 2004 5:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

Silk Stocking Stuffers

40. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 12, 2004 5:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 17:51

"Ok then, do all the Santa'... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 6:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Ok then, do all the Santa's have the address of their assigned party? Wait a minute. Ok, where is the special order Santa for 15 Old House Lane, Chappaqua, NY?"

41. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 6:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 18:03

"Sex change or no sex chang... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by Hilari | November 12, 2004 6:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hilari:

"Sex change or no sex change! Once a Santa, always a Santa!" Krissy Kringle was heard chanting as they led her away from the annual Santa Convention.

42. Posted by Hilari | November 12, 2004 6:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 18:17

"That's it...will somebody ... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by Gunny | November 12, 2004 6:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gunny:

"That's it...will somebody please tell the French guy to get outta the line..."

43. Posted by Gunny | November 12, 2004 6:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 18:18

The number of female applic... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by Chrees | November 12, 2004 6:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chrees:

The number of female applicants fell once it was explained what the "Mamas" were expected to do in "Hells Santas"

44. Posted by Chrees | November 12, 2004 6:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 18:18

Bad Santa? If you're lucky.... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 6:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Bad Santa? If you're lucky.

45. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 12, 2004 6:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 18:30

Saint Nicole (AKA “The Tran... (Below threshold)

46. Posted by jmaster | November 12, 2004 6:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jmaster:

Saint Nicole (AKA “The Tranny Santy”) felt unusually awkward as she attended her first Santa’s meeting post-op. She had worn this outfit many times before, but things were a bit different now.

Her worst fears were realized when, suddenly, the Santa behind her shouted out, “Hey Nicole, where's your sack?”

46. Posted by jmaster | November 12, 2004 6:42 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 18:42

Coming in December: Nathan ... (Below threshold)

47. Posted by McGehee | November 12, 2004 6:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

Coming in December: Nathan Lane in La Cage Aux Faux Ho-Ho-Ho!

47. Posted by McGehee | November 12, 2004 6:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 18:50

After giving up his Senate ... (Below threshold)

48. Posted by Barry Dauphin | November 12, 2004 6:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Barry Dauphin:

After giving up his Senate seat and losing his bid for Vice President, John Edwards decides to earn some holiday money as a Santa's helper.

48. Posted by Barry Dauphin | November 12, 2004 6:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 18:52

Okay, now we just need two ... (Below threshold)

49. Posted by Jason Smith | November 12, 2004 7:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jason Smith:

Okay, now we just need two more HOs.

49. Posted by Jason Smith | November 12, 2004 7:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 19:20

What I wouldn't give to be ... (Below threshold)

50. Posted by Daniel | November 12, 2004 7:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Daniel:

What I wouldn't give to be one of her elves....

50. Posted by Daniel | November 12, 2004 7:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 19:21

In an effort to draw more m... (Below threshold)

51. Posted by TexasRainmaker | November 12, 2004 7:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
TexasRainmaker:

In an effort to draw more males to the holiday shopping experience, Macy's is unveiling a new campaign:

Lap sitting for the kids...

Lap dancing for the dads....

51. Posted by TexasRainmaker | November 12, 2004 7:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 19:23

Kool Kitty... (Below threshold)

52. Posted by jhow66 | November 12, 2004 7:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jhow66:

Kool Kitty

52. Posted by jhow66 | November 12, 2004 7:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 19:47

The Ninth Circuit court rul... (Below threshold)

53. Posted by bains | November 12, 2004 7:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
bains:

The Ninth Circuit court ruled today that a San Francisco cross-dressing pedophile wearing non-traditional santa clothes were in the spirit of of santa, and therefore should be allowed. The court refused to address the issue of requiring the man to wear undergarments.

53. Posted by bains | November 12, 2004 7:58 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 19:58

It's a still from the educa... (Below threshold)

54. Posted by ccwbass | November 12, 2004 8:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
ccwbass:

It's a still from the educational film "Where Little Elves Come From."

54. Posted by ccwbass | November 12, 2004 8:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 20:02

As Lynn proudly stood in th... (Below threshold)

55. Posted by JAB | November 12, 2004 8:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAB:

As Lynn proudly stood in the cold, December air wishing for the warmth of those pantyhose so hastily fogotten earlier that morning, it was obvious to the entire Macy's Santa brigade that he had finally come out of the closet.

55. Posted by JAB | November 12, 2004 8:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 20:11

Attending an rally of the A... (Below threshold)

56. Posted by OneDrummer | November 12, 2004 8:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OneDrummer:

Attending an rally of the AFL-CIO Santas in Cleveland, Susie is suprised to hear that the Nutcracker is actually a union recruiting technique.

56. Posted by OneDrummer | November 12, 2004 8:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 20:18

"Ummm, Mr. Edwards? Yeaaahh... (Below threshold)

57. Posted by SmugMonkey | November 12, 2004 8:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SmugMonkey:

"Ummm, Mr. Edwards? Yeaaahhh, it's just that, well, you're really not supposed to be at the Senate Santa Meeting. Oh, by the way, Daschle has your pants out in his Sebring. Merry Christmas!"

57. Posted by SmugMonkey | November 12, 2004 8:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 20:26

All of the Santa's together... (Below threshold)

58. Posted by Ginger Guy | November 12, 2004 8:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ginger Guy:

All of the Santa's together, even with "Santa Teresa", couldn't fulfill John Kerry's biggest Christmas Wish of the year!

58. Posted by Ginger Guy | November 12, 2004 8:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 20:35

You've been a bad boy, GO T... (Below threshold)

59. Posted by Smoke Eater | November 12, 2004 8:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Smoke Eater:

You've been a bad boy, GO TO MY ROOM!

59. Posted by Smoke Eater | November 12, 2004 8:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 20:53

"You've been a bad, GO TO ... (Below threshold)

60. Posted by Smoke Eater | November 12, 2004 8:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Smoke Eater:

"You've been a bad, GO TO MY ROOM!" as Mrs Claus found Santa watching a "naughty movie"

60. Posted by Smoke Eater | November 12, 2004 8:54 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 20:54

It's looking alot like Chri... (Below threshold)

61. Posted by Kanati | November 12, 2004 9:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kanati:

It's looking alot like Christmas.............

61. Posted by Kanati | November 12, 2004 9:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 21:26

The Clinton Legacy Aftermat... (Below threshold)

62. Posted by Aaron | November 12, 2004 9:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Aaron:

The Clinton Legacy Aftermath: Santa Trades in Reindeer for Interns.

62. Posted by Aaron | November 12, 2004 9:31 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 21:31

Coming in December: Dustin ... (Below threshold)

63. Posted by McGehee | November 12, 2004 9:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

Coming in December: Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie Claus!

63. Posted by McGehee | November 12, 2004 9:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 21:36

"Let it show, let it show, ... (Below threshold)

64. Posted by OhioanForBush | November 12, 2004 9:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OhioanForBush:

"Let it show, let it show, Let it show!"

64. Posted by OhioanForBush | November 12, 2004 9:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 21:50

A Kerry daughter has been s... (Below threshold)

65. Posted by Sean Hackbarth | November 12, 2004 9:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sean Hackbarth:

A Kerry daughter has been spotted amongst the Santas.

65. Posted by Sean Hackbarth | November 12, 2004 9:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 21:52

kind of adds a whole new me... (Below threshold)

66. Posted by Larry K. | November 12, 2004 9:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Larry K.:

kind of adds a whole new meaning to "sitting on Santa's lap," doesn't it.

66. Posted by Larry K. | November 12, 2004 9:56 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 21:56

Wouldn't you would like to ... (Below threshold)

67. Posted by Larry K. | November 12, 2004 9:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Larry K.:

Wouldn't you would like to see this Santa sitting next to the Queen?

67. Posted by Larry K. | November 12, 2004 9:58 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 21:58

Wouldn't you like to see th... (Below threshold)

68. Posted by Larry K. | November 12, 2004 9:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Larry K.:

Wouldn't you like to see this Santa sitting next to the Queen?

68. Posted by Larry K. | November 12, 2004 9:59 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 21:59

My name is Suha (Arafat) an... (Below threshold)

69. Posted by Yvette Stafford | November 12, 2004 10:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yvette Stafford:

My name is Suha (Arafat) and I am recently widowed. May I guide someone's sleigh tonight?

69. Posted by Yvette Stafford | November 12, 2004 10:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 22:21

Snow White, tiring of livin... (Below threshold)

70. Posted by John | November 12, 2004 10:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John:

Snow White, tiring of living in the woods, ups her game in the Arctic north...

70. Posted by John | November 12, 2004 10:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 22:27

Don we now our Gay Apparell... (Below threshold)

71. Posted by Cowboy Blob | November 12, 2004 11:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cowboy Blob:

Don we now our Gay Apparell....

71. Posted by Cowboy Blob | November 12, 2004 11:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 23:16

As the only scottish Santa ... (Below threshold)

72. Posted by Henry | November 12, 2004 11:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Henry:

As the only scottish Santa in line, McLeary decided to forgoe his traditional kilt for a festive one.

72. Posted by Henry | November 12, 2004 11:42 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 23:42

"It just hasn't been the sa... (Below threshold)

73. Posted by Mara | November 12, 2004 11:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mara:

"It just hasn't been the same since they let women join the corps."

73. Posted by Mara | November 12, 2004 11:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 12, 2004 23:52

San Francisco's "Thanta Cla... (Below threshold)

74. Posted by Jinx McHue | November 13, 2004 12:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jinx McHue:

San Francisco's "Thanta Clauth Brigade" prepares to invade the city's shopping meccas.

74. Posted by Jinx McHue | November 13, 2004 12:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 00:46

A representative fr... (Below threshold)

75. Posted by MahaRichie | November 13, 2004 1:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MahaRichie:


A representative from NOW trying to infiltrate the all male Santa contigent,suddenly realizes it was a big mistake to take a position at the rear and downwind to the group.

75. Posted by MahaRichie | November 13, 2004 1:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 01:11

Master Claus was an insecur... (Below threshold)

76. Posted by McCain | November 13, 2004 1:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Master Claus was an insecure and rather lonely child. His subsequent meteoric rise through the ranks of rivals to the apex of his profession, despite the early handicaps (or perhaps because of them) represents a triumph of human perseverance. But regardless of all the later success and accolades, one vivid reminder of those early insecurities tormented him each night: this recurring dream sequence in which the aspiring young Santa attends school without his pants.

76. Posted by McCain | November 13, 2004 1:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 01:14

Libertarians Triumph in Nor... (Below threshold)

77. Posted by McCain | November 13, 2004 1:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Libertarians Triumph in North Pole Elections!
1st hooker hits the streets after populist ballot initiative passes.

77. Posted by McCain | November 13, 2004 1:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 01:17

At Bloomindale’s holiday pa... (Below threshold)

78. Posted by McCain | November 13, 2004 1:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

At Bloomindale’s holiday party for employees and spouses, our photographer documented that the majority of store Santas really are pathetic, lonely old geezers.

78. Posted by McCain | November 13, 2004 1:19 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 01:19

Realizing way too late that... (Below threshold)

79. Posted by McCain | November 13, 2004 1:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Realizing way too late that they had misread the help wanted ad, election day poll workers sheepishly report to the city’s north-precinct poll.

79. Posted by McCain | November 13, 2004 1:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 01:25

Rudolph's dream -- he holds... (Below threshold)

80. Posted by Alex D. | November 13, 2004 1:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Alex D.:

Rudolph's dream -- he holds the reins while Santas pull the sleigh...hey! How'd that get in there?

80. Posted by Alex D. | November 13, 2004 1:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 01:42

Sam never felt at home with... (Below threshold)

81. Posted by MetallicaRat | November 13, 2004 2:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MetallicaRat:

Sam never felt at home with the rest of the Santa crew...

81. Posted by MetallicaRat | November 13, 2004 2:12 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 02:12

John Ashcroft's new day job... (Below threshold)

82. Posted by Rus | November 13, 2004 3:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rus:

John Ashcroft's new day job.

82. Posted by Rus | November 13, 2004 3:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 03:26

"I never win these contests... (Below threshold)

83. Posted by -S- | November 13, 2004 4:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
-S-:

"I never win these contests so I wore a dress instead."

83. Posted by -S- | November 13, 2004 4:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 04:32

"What a revolting developme... (Below threshold)

84. Posted by McGehee | November 13, 2004 9:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

"What a revolting development," thought a disgruntled Santa as the male elves leered at the new addition to their ranks. "The missus caught me stuffing this gal's stocking, and I had to come up with an explanation -- so why on earth did I say I was planning to put her on my staff?"

84. Posted by McGehee | November 13, 2004 9:19 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 09:19

"But I thought coming only ... (Below threshold)

85. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 13, 2004 9:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"But I thought coming only once a year was just a Christmas myth."

In her new role Teresa Heinz Kerry was considered to be the life of many a Christmas party. In the end, however, as the gin and raisins ran out she turned into just another aging embittered Santa wannabe.

85. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 13, 2004 9:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 09:32

At the Santa's for an Ohio ... (Below threshold)

86. Posted by Tig | November 13, 2004 11:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tig:

At the Santa's for an Ohio Recount Rally, one lone Bush Santa stood unnoticed among the crowd.

[I got here a bit late and most of the good gags were already taken ;) ]

86. Posted by Tig | November 13, 2004 11:19 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 11:19

Fresh from the demoralizing... (Below threshold)

87. Posted by itismedavid | November 13, 2004 11:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
itismedavid:

Fresh from the demoralizing defeats of gay marriage amendments, Gov McGreevy decided to go "commando" to the annual Santa Thanksgiving Day Ball in hopes of finding a jolly ole elf to lap dance for him.

87. Posted by itismedavid | November 13, 2004 11:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 11:20

Time to trim the tree.... (Below threshold)

88. Posted by Sapper6 | November 13, 2004 11:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sapper6:

Time to trim the tree.

88. Posted by Sapper6 | November 13, 2004 11:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 11:51

At a recent press conferenc... (Below threshold)

89. Posted by JAB | November 13, 2004 11:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAB:

At a recent press conference, House Democrats surround Nancy Pelosi as they outline their newest plan for income redistribution.

89. Posted by JAB | November 13, 2004 11:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 11:55

I have no caption, but I'm ... (Below threshold)

90. Posted by Ken Summers | November 13, 2004 1:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ken Summers:

I have no caption, but I'm guessing this is the opening scene from "Christmas Gangbang 2004".

90. Posted by Ken Summers | November 13, 2004 1:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 13:13

Next on Court TV:Mrs... (Below threshold)

91. Posted by M Shanks | November 13, 2004 3:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
M Shanks:

Next on Court TV:
Mrs. Claus and her eight male neighbors are arraigned on a varity of morals charges for the disgraceful Christmas eve "sex-party" while Mr. Claus ("Santa") was away on business.

91. Posted by M Shanks | November 13, 2004 3:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 15:27

Next on Court TV:Mrs... (Below threshold)

92. Posted by M Shanks | November 13, 2004 3:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
M Shanks:

Next on Court TV:
Mrs. Claus and her eight male neighbors are arraigned on a varity of morals charges for the disgraceful Christmas eve "sex-party" while Mr. Claus ("Santa") was away on business.

92. Posted by M Shanks | November 13, 2004 3:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 15:27

Santa, I am afraid that I h... (Below threshold)

93. Posted by Michael | November 13, 2004 5:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Michael:

Santa, I am afraid that I have been pretty naughty this year. Don't you think I need a spanking, instead of the just getting coal?

93. Posted by Michael | November 13, 2004 5:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 17:20

XXX-Mas bukkake!... (Below threshold)

94. Posted by Cybrludite | November 13, 2004 5:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cybrludite:

XXX-Mas bukkake!

94. Posted by Cybrludite | November 13, 2004 5:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 17:50

Nothing had been the same a... (Below threshold)

95. Posted by the UNPOPULIST | November 13, 2004 6:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
the UNPOPULIST:

Nothing had been the same at the mall since "William Jefferson Claus" arived.

95. Posted by the UNPOPULIST | November 13, 2004 6:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 18:57

Suddenly John Edwards reali... (Below threshold)

96. Posted by caltechgirl | November 13, 2004 10:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
caltechgirl:

Suddenly John Edwards realized he'd read the wrong memo......

96. Posted by caltechgirl | November 13, 2004 10:29 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 22:29

Totally.Caltechgir... (Below threshold)

97. Posted by the UNPOPULIST | November 13, 2004 10:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
the UNPOPULIST:

Totally.

Caltechgirl gets my vote.

97. Posted by the UNPOPULIST | November 13, 2004 10:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 22:51

First the glass ceiling, no... (Below threshold)

98. Posted by coldbeer4thesoul | November 13, 2004 11:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
coldbeer4thesoul:

First the glass ceiling, now the polar cap.

98. Posted by coldbeer4thesoul | November 13, 2004 11:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 23:30

- Ok...next Santa jerk-oof ... (Below threshold)

99. Posted by Hunter | November 13, 2004 11:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hunter:

- Ok...next Santa jerk-oof that pinches my ass gets a knee in the ole Christmas package.....

99. Posted by Hunter | November 13, 2004 11:40 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 13, 2004 23:40

Ahhhh, the sound of reindee... (Below threshold)

100. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | November 14, 2004 12:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Aaron's Rantblog:

Ahhhh, the sound of reindeer landing on your roof: Fap-fap-fap-fap-fap-fap-fap...

100. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | November 14, 2004 12:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 14, 2004 00:52

Ho.... (Below threshold)

101. Posted by spacemonkey | November 14, 2004 1:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
spacemonkey:

Ho.

101. Posted by spacemonkey | November 14, 2004 1:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 14, 2004 01:06

The new leader procl... (Below threshold)

102. Posted by jack rudd | November 14, 2004 1:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jack rudd:


The new leader proclaimed, "All penises: About Face!"

102. Posted by jack rudd | November 14, 2004 1:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 14, 2004 01:52

Pictured here are Donnie an... (Below threshold)

103. Posted by JAB | November 14, 2004 6:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAB:

Pictured here are Donnie and Marie and The Osmond Brothers at rehearsal for their 2004 Christmas special. Marie is the Santa on the far right.

103. Posted by JAB | November 14, 2004 6:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 14, 2004 06:42

Mrs.claus has a hard time f... (Below threshold)

104. Posted by dan | November 14, 2004 9:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
dan:

Mrs.claus has a hard time finding the real SANTA

104. Posted by dan | November 14, 2004 9:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 14, 2004 09:51

"Let me have your attention... (Below threshold)

105. Posted by Patrick Deck | November 14, 2004 11:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Patrick Deck:

"Let me have your attention! The three finalists for the competition are as follows;

ATCHISON, TOPEKA, SANTA FAYE"

105. Posted by Patrick Deck | November 14, 2004 11:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 14, 2004 11:04

Ho! Ho! WTF!?... (Below threshold)

106. Posted by McGehee | November 14, 2004 7:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

Ho! Ho! WTF!?

106. Posted by McGehee | November 14, 2004 7:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 14, 2004 19:24

Update: <a href="htt... (Below threshold)

107. Posted by Kevin | November 15, 2004 1:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin:

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

107. Posted by Kevin | November 15, 2004 1:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 15, 2004 01:05




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