A while ago, I dated a woman that I fell hard for. One of the things we had in common (and one of the things I loved most about her) was we both would engineer circumstances and fudge events "just for the sake of a good line." We'd never out-and-out lie, but misleading comments and playing on perceptions of others was all too fair.
I think the best example of that was during one of our first dates. During the course of the evening, I suddenly realized I was short on certain medical supplies (I am an insulin-dependent diabetic) and asked if she minded if we stopped at a drug store. While there, I noticed that soda was on sale, and stocked up on that. On completing my purchases, we resumed the date (I think it was dinner and a movie, with the stop just before dinner).
I don't recall the particulars of the date, other than it went well (we were together, off and on, for some time after), but I do recall one detail from that night. Apparently she told several friends that the highlight of the evening was when I "took her along while I bought some hypodermic needles and Coke."
I couldn't really argue with the literal truth of it, but I still wish she'd found a more complimentary way to describe the evening...
J.
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Comments (15)
Beware but that this one hi... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Tig | November 20, 2004 6:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Beware but that this one hits the email forward circuit and goes around AOL for the next decade ... without any attribution.
1. Posted by Tig | November 20, 2004 6:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on November 20, 2004 18:42
2. Posted by IR | November 20, 2004 8:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Good thing you didn't stop for a pair of goulashes and to get your saxaphone tuned up...
(it will come to you)
Cheers...
IR
2. Posted by IR | November 20, 2004 8:11 PM |
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Posted on November 20, 2004 20:11
3. Posted by Pat Adkins | November 20, 2004 8:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Truth is "perception" and subject to the "eye of the beholder." Hope you got laid.
3. Posted by Pat Adkins | November 20, 2004 8:28 PM |
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Posted on November 20, 2004 20:28
4. Posted by Henry | November 20, 2004 8:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
That is freakin hilarious...that also gets sent on a huge forward around.
4. Posted by Henry | November 20, 2004 8:37 PM |
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Posted on November 20, 2004 20:37
5. Posted by Omni | November 20, 2004 9:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Guffaw!! :-)
5. Posted by Omni | November 20, 2004 9:06 PM |
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Posted on November 20, 2004 21:06
6. Posted by Jay Tea | November 20, 2004 9:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OK, IR, I got the "Galoshes" one (presuming you were talking about rubber overshoes and not pasta dishes), but I'm stumped on the saxophone.
Fess up, or I'll actually explain what "visiting the ferrets" was a euphemism for, and how the term evolved...
J.
6. Posted by Jay Tea | November 20, 2004 9:28 PM |
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Posted on November 20, 2004 21:28
7. Posted by Les Nessman | November 20, 2004 10:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I guess it depends what the meaning of 'is' is.
Her last name wasn't Clinton, was it?
7. Posted by Les Nessman | November 20, 2004 10:35 PM |
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Posted on November 20, 2004 22:35
8. Posted by IR | November 20, 2004 10:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hey Jay Tea, the problem kids these days is that there is too much sax and violins....*har*
8. Posted by IR | November 20, 2004 10:59 PM |
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Posted on November 20, 2004 22:59
9. Posted by Dacotti | November 21, 2004 2:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I share your sickness for a good line. My wife and I were once trying to set up a woman at her office with a playboy friend of mine who had a thing for, umm, larger women. The previous weekend he had been drinking pretty hard and was shot down by a very attractive lady he was trying to get out on the dance floor. He came back to the table and plopped down with feigned dejection. Someone said, "I suppose a blow job is out of the question." and he said "I don't know, I didn't ask." At which point he got up and went back to talk to her for another shoot-down.
So the next weekend, we had our friend send a drink over to him and he politely came over and asked her if she would like to dance, at which point she replied, "I don't care to dance thank you, but I'd be happy to give you a blow-job."
The whole bar was anticipating the line and it was like an EF Hutton comercial when she dropped the line on him. Absolutely priceless. The guy just froze there with a shocked smile on his face while the whole bar erupted into laughter.
9. Posted by Dacotti | November 21, 2004 2:46 AM |
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Posted on November 21, 2004 02:46
10. Posted by firstbrokenangel | November 21, 2004 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
J - you just need to find a better class of women to date. I know it's not easy at our age, but they are out there. Attraction is over-rated; you need someone with a sick mind like yours.
Cindy
10. Posted by firstbrokenangel | November 21, 2004 9:37 AM |
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Posted on November 21, 2004 09:37
11. Posted by Mark | November 21, 2004 10:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lovely.
I do some blacksmithing in my sparetime, and my ex-wife used to delight in introducing me as 'her husband the forger'.
11. Posted by Mark | November 21, 2004 10:55 AM |
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Posted on November 21, 2004 10:55
12. Posted by TallDave | November 21, 2004 5:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You probably already know this, but if you don't, google "cinnamon diabetes." Also, I'm assuming yours is Type II (adult onset); I don't this is as relevant for Type I.
12. Posted by TallDave | November 21, 2004 5:29 PM |
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Posted on November 21, 2004 17:29
13. Posted by Boyd | November 21, 2004 8:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My favorite line when I'm about to step out for a smoke is, "I'm gonna go suck a fag."
Those unfamiliar with British slang tend to get uncomfortable at that point.
13. Posted by Boyd | November 21, 2004 8:22 PM |
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Posted on November 21, 2004 20:22
14. Posted by GB | November 22, 2004 8:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I would do that. As my mom would say; I never lied but I never told the truth.
14. Posted by GB | November 22, 2004 8:29 AM |
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Posted on November 22, 2004 08:29
15. Posted by Oyster | November 22, 2004 12:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My husband and I are really good embellishers when we work together too. It's not really "lying" but just making a good story "better".
15. Posted by Oyster | November 22, 2004 12:00 PM |
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Posted on November 22, 2004 12:00