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WWBD- What Would Bubba Do

Before you read this you need to go here and carefully watch the video of Bush going back into the crowd to get one of his Secret Service agents. And you might read my updated comments on it while you are there. Go ahead, I'll be here when you get back.

I've always been fascinated by the President's Secret Service so I pondered this a lot in the last 24 hours. Which lead me to wonder, "What would Bubba do?" So here is my list of how other presidents and wannabes would have reacted in this same situation.

John Kerry would have frozen in his tracks. His urge to prove he was a manly stud would have conflicted with his desire to not wrinkle his $1000 suit and (gasp) touch a commoner. Further, with no 50 cal machine gun and unarmed teenagers to mow down, he wouldn't have the tactical advantage.

Al Gore would have asked Tipper what was going on.

Bill Clinton would have looked very Presidential. He would have escorted his wife forward and pretended to not see any of the commotion behind him. Unless there was a hot babe in the crowd and he thought he could cop a feel...

Bush 41 would have looked very Presidential. He would have escorted his wife forward and pretended to not see any of the commotion behind him. And then he would have thrown up on his hosts.

Ronald Reagan Reagan would have taken command of the whole situation with his spoken word. The man defined gravitas.

Jimmy Carter Jimmy would have whipped out his cell phone and called the United Nations to send a peacekeeping force.... Or picked up a boat paddle. (google is your friend)

Gerald Ford would have turned to see what was going on and tripped on the carpet.

and last but not least...

Richard Nixon would have sent Henry Kissinger to take care of it.


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Comments (26)

Hilarious. <... (Below threshold)
Chuck:

Hilarious.

A great take on how other Presidents would react to the situation.

I think you're off regardin... (Below threshold)
John:

I think you're off regarding Clinton. I've seen him and his USSS interact on numerous occasions. He paid them great respect and was on a first-name basis with his regular protectors. He was always aware that they were they, as well as where they were.

I realize you're post is a humorous one, but it factually missed the target here.

I was unaware that humor wa... (Below threshold)
Justin:

I was unaware that humor was intended to be factually accurate. Perhaps you can tell us how all the other presidents would've reacted to the situation using the facts.

It was a nice bit of humor btw.

- John Kennedy would... (Below threshold)

- John Kennedy would have been pissed at the holdup because his lead agent had the name of the Chilian pepperpot sweetie he'd lined him up with for that evening....

Actually I think you pegged... (Below threshold)
Justrand:

Actually I think you pegged Clinton correctly (ok, the "hot babe" thing was strictly tongue in cheek).

Clinton WOULD have gone forward, since for him it's always about STYLE!

And I am sure the Secret Service talked to the Prez afterwards and asked him to NEVER do that again. And I'm equally sure he told them: "I'm the Prez...I'll do it if I think it needs doing"

History's a funny thing...for want of a bodyguard we might have lost a President. Thank God we'll never know!

I have another take on Kerr... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

I have another take on Kerry: He would have informed the press that "the G--damn Secret Service agent 'fell down' on his job by failing to protect him...and adding that I (Kerry) 'never fall down'."

How about some Presidential... (Below threshold)
Eric:

How about some Presidential wannabes?:

John Edwards: Would have whipped out his compact checked his hair and make-up then batted his eyes at the Chilean guards to get them to let his agent go.

Al Sharpton: Would have let them take the agent away, then filed a suit against the Chilean government claiming they stuffed the agent in a plastic bag and covered him in feces after screaming racist remarks at him.

Dennis Kucinich: Would have blamed the Secret Service Agent first.

Joe Lieberman: Would have droned on and on about the need to show more resolve without ever doing anything.

Wes Clark: Would have done nothing then claimed he saved the agent afterward.

Howard Dean: Yeaagh!

I agree with several of the... (Below threshold)
Bill M:

I agree with several of the posters in the other segemnt -- this man has backbone!

There is something else at work here. The US provides it's own security for the President. Notice that all other countries defer to the host country in providing security. The US does not. There was a problem with this earlier in the day and the Secret Service figured the Chileans might try something like this.

Now, if we allowed this to happen, and the odds are that nothing bad would have resulted, then other countries would have a prescedent (sp) for doing the same thing adn insisting that they alone provide the security. That is something the US will not do, so this was a test. Any by going back for his man, the President was demonstrating to Chile and, through them, the world, that the US does things it's own way and they need to get used to it.

(And, as a side light, the dinner being cancelled just may have been a payback. It is an embarassment to the Chilean government and the blame for it is laid directly at the feet of the Chilean security forces. Wonder it someone there might not be out of a job in the near future.)

Damn, we're lucky to have a real man for President!

LMAO!!!!!! Especially the ... (Below threshold)
Omni:

LMAO!!!!!! Especially the Carter one... it's hard to beat the story of the swimming attack bunny, lol!!

Hillary would have thrown a... (Below threshold)
julie:

Hillary would have thrown a lamp.

As to John's post, the guy who carried the briefcase with all the secret stuff during the Clinton era has written a book. Heard him say that though he didn't agree with the Clinton's politically, he liked both of them immensely.

LMAO... (Below threshold)

LMAO

Actually, I think Reagan wo... (Below threshold)

Actually, I think Reagan would have defused the situation with a joke. That was very nearly his standard approach.

As an aside here, every tim... (Below threshold)
-S-:

As an aside here, every time I read a reality post -- I know some disagree here, but I'd call this a reality post -- reminding us that Bush is our President, and that Kerry is not, I feel an immense relief about many things, but mostly about not having to exercise patience with Kerry as President, to wait out his elaborations, avoidances, posings, postures, preposterous blustery and misprepresentations, but mostly that we don't have to listen to his horrid droning voice going on and on and on and never making any point...for four frickin' years.

Instead we get Presient Bush who just takes care of things when they arise, just like the resolve he quickly put into place to solve this security tangle. Just took care of it. Didn't make a speech about it. Didn't ask anyone else for "advice" or to "build a coalition," didn't make a false smile to a camera afterward about it, or use the situation to pose, just took care of the problem, simply and quickly.

Every time I am reminded that Kerry is NOT the President, and that Bush is, I feel so grateful I want to send someone flowers.

As an aside here, every tim... (Below threshold)
-S-:

As an aside here, every time I read a reality post -- I know some disagree here, but I'd call this a reality post -- reminding us that Bush is our President, and that Kerry is not, I feel an immense relief about many things, but mostly about not having to exercise patience with Kerry as President, to wait out his elaborations, avoidances, posings, postures, preposterous blustery and misprepresentations, but mostly that we don't have to listen to his horrid droning voice going on and on and on and never making any point...for four frickin' years.

Instead we get Presient Bush who just takes care of things when they arise, just like the resolve he quickly put into place to solve this security tangle. Just took care of it. Didn't make a speech about it. Didn't ask anyone else for "advice" or to "build a coalition," didn't make a false smile to a camera afterward about it, or use the situation to pose, just took care of the problem, simply and quickly.

Every time I am reminded that Kerry is NOT the President, and that Bush is, I feel so grateful I want to send someone flowers.

As an aside here, every tim... (Below threshold)
-S-:

As an aside here, every time I read a reality post -- I know some disagree here, but I'd call this a reality post -- reminding us that Bush is our President, and that Kerry is not, I feel an immense relief about many things, but mostly about not having to exercise patience with Kerry as President, to wait out his elaborations, avoidances, posings, postures, preposterous blustery and misprepresentations, but mostly that we don't have to listen to his horrid droning voice going on and on and on and never making any point...for four frickin' years.

Instead we get Presient Bush who just takes care of things when they arise, just like the resolve he quickly put into place to solve this security tangle. Just took care of it. Didn't make a speech about it. Didn't ask anyone else for "advice" or to "build a coalition," didn't make a false smile to a camera afterward about it, or use the situation to pose, just took care of the problem, simply and quickly.

Every time I am reminded that Kerry is NOT the President, and that Bush is, I feel so grateful I want to send someone flowers.

Hmmm...Kevin, I received an... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Hmmm...Kevin, I received an "Error 404, unable to post..." and something or other when I submitted the comment above the first time, so I returned to the comment and tried to resubmit, received the same "Error 404...Server Port 80..." thing again.

I'm using a temporary connection DSL connection through a commercial ethernet for the next two weeks (in a different location than usual) and so thought that the error code was associated with that issue. So I obtained a "public I.P." for the use today and returned here to find the comments posted and posted twice. Must be something else. Having never had a public I.P. before, I now have no idea what I'll do with it or what it will do to me...

I'll see if this posts and if not, won't try again.

It is probably not you... I... (Below threshold)
Paul:

It is probably not you... I've noticed this have been very slow. Especially considering it has been a slow weekend.

Suzy, Paul, it's not just y... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Suzy, Paul, it's not just you -- Wizbang is getting HAMMERED with comment spam this evening. I've probably spent two hours just cleaning up my own threads and blackballing sites... I dunno how Kevin does it on a regular basis.

J.

Calvin Coolige woul... (Below threshold)
libertarianjim:

Calvin Coolige wouldn't have said anything.

Hilarious! ... (Below threshold)
Mary:

Hilarious!

OK, if Paul's gonna make ob... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

OK, if Paul's gonna make obscure political references, so am I.

LBJ would've picked up the errant USSS Agent by his ears and lifted him over the crowd.

JFK would've had Bobby handle it.

Eisenhower would've had an aide armed with a golf club clear the crowd.

FDR would've been wheeled in by a private entrance, away from the public eye, avoiding the whole stink.

J.

Well said Bill M. ... (Below threshold)
FreakBoy:

Well said Bill M.

It's a comment spam attack.... (Below threshold)

It's a comment spam attack... I hate to do it, but change is going to be required... Captcha or MT 3.12...

Ultra-obscure political ref... (Below threshold)
Mark:

Ultra-obscure political reference:

William Henry Harrison would have wondered outside, caught pneumonia and would have died within a month anyway...

Truman would have us... (Below threshold)
DWC:


Truman would have used it as an excuse to get rid of Doug MacArthur . . .

Teddy Roosevelt would have used it as a pretext to send gunboats and annex Chile.

Grant's secret service agents, Jim West and Artemis Smith, would have used a shoe-fired grappling hook to host themselves out of the way.

And I shudder to think of the reaction of James K. Polk.

Andrew Jackson would... (Below threshold)
Henry:

Andrew Jackson would have waited until things had settled down and the meeting was well under way to punch a security guard right on the nose.




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