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Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin
Published: November 26, 2004 - 11:10 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Due to a complete meltdown last weekend I never was able to post the winners of last weeks contest. That announcement will come soon.

Democratic presidential hopeful U.S. Sen., John Kerry of Massachusetts leaves a toy store at the Mall of New Hampshire in Manchester, N.H., Friday, Nov., 28, 2003. Kerry bought and donated toys to the U.S. Marines Toys for Tots program. (AP Photo/Jim Cole)


Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

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Comments (82)

No longer the hot commodity... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by E. Nough | November 26, 2004 11:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
E. Nough:

No longer the hot commodity they were a few months ago, losing presidential candidates can usually be found on the discount rack.

1. Posted by E. Nough | November 26, 2004 11:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 11:32

"This damn cosmetics counte... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by tony | November 26, 2004 11:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tony:

"This damn cosmetics counter never has my shade of orange!"

-or-

Senator John Kerry finds his true calling as a department store mannequin.

-or-

"Has anyone seen my wife? Short little woman, hair like a bird's nest? She's two aisles over? Good. Here's $100. You never saw me here."

2. Posted by tony | November 26, 2004 11:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 11:32

"Can I get me a huntin' lic... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Bdankers | November 26, 2004 11:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bdankers:

"Can I get me a huntin' license here?"

3. Posted by Bdankers | November 26, 2004 11:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 11:39

While John is out shopping ... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Laurence Simon | November 26, 2004 11:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

While John is out shopping for gifts, Teresa shops for a candidate-husband for 2008 and a good divorce attorney.

4. Posted by Laurence Simon | November 26, 2004 11:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 11:52

You mean everything's</b... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Sharp as a Marble | November 26, 2004 12:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sharp as a Marble:

You mean everything's a dollar?

5. Posted by Sharp as a Marble | November 26, 2004 12:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:12

Showing his continuing disd... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by rorochub | November 26, 2004 12:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rorochub:

Showing his continuing disdain for Secret Service agents, John Kerry knocks the Secret Service agent on the floor with a swing of his shopping bag and yells..."Get out of my way suit boy - that's my pumpkin orange tanning cream"

6. Posted by rorochub | November 26, 2004 12:15 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:15

Two security guards watch t... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Geo | November 26, 2004 12:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Geo:

Two security guards watch the suspect after cusotmers complain that he knocked over the Turbo Man display.

7. Posted by Geo | November 26, 2004 12:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:17

Pardon me, I seem to have m... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Steve | November 26, 2004 12:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve:

Pardon me, I seem to have misplaced my dignity, you haven't seen it have you?

8. Posted by Steve | November 26, 2004 12:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:18

Hey buddy - can ya spare a ... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Lyana | November 26, 2004 12:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lyana:

Hey buddy - can ya spare a dime?

9. Posted by Lyana | November 26, 2004 12:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:20

"Damn, good think I lost or... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 12:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Damn, good think I lost or I never would've had enough time to finish my Christmas shopping.
... or go biking
... or windsurfing
... or hunting
... or..."

10. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 12:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:21

"Excuse me, can I get an ad... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 12:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Excuse me, can I get an addition 10% of, I'm Senator John Kerry and I served in Viet Nam ya know."

11. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 12:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:22

"Can you give me directions... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 12:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Can you give me directions to the lumberyard? I really do need to buy some wood."

12. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 12:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:23

Man of the people, John Ker... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by McCain | November 26, 2004 12:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Man of the people, John Kerry, thanks the helpful man for identifying the "checkstand" for him.

13. Posted by McCain | November 26, 2004 12:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:41

where can I get moi a gay m... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Norm from Canada | November 26, 2004 12:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm from Canada:

where can I get moi a gay marriage license?

14. Posted by Norm from Canada | November 26, 2004 12:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:43

Attention K-Mart Shoppers -... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | November 26, 2004 12:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Aaron's Rantblog:

Attention K-Mart Shoppers - We Have A Blue State Special on Aisle 9.

15. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | November 26, 2004 12:55 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:55

I'll trade ya this bag of c... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by LouDawg | November 26, 2004 12:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
LouDawg:

I'll trade ya this bag of crack for your vote.

16. Posted by LouDawg | November 26, 2004 12:56 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 12:56

John Kerry purchases the ne... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by Steve L | November 26, 2004 1:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve L:

John Kerry purchases the new Bush vs. Kerry Rockem Sockem Robots, hoping to finally score a victory against George W. Bush.

17. Posted by Steve L | November 26, 2004 1:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 13:05

John Kerry takes advantage ... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Steve L | November 26, 2004 1:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve L:

John Kerry takes advantage of the new "Blue State Special" at the local K-Mart.

18. Posted by Steve L | November 26, 2004 1:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 13:07

What do you mean, I'm over ... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Joe R. the Unabrewer | November 26, 2004 1:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Joe R. the Unabrewer:

What do you mean, I'm over my limit? TERESA!!

19. Posted by Joe R. the Unabrewer | November 26, 2004 1:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 13:08

What do you mean, stand in ... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by kevin | November 26, 2004 1:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kevin:

What do you mean, stand in line?! Don't you know who I am??

20. Posted by kevin | November 26, 2004 1:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 13:14

Pardon me, do you have any ... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Mike | November 26, 2004 1:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mike:

Pardon me, do you have any grey poupon?

21. Posted by Mike | November 26, 2004 1:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 13:19

Where is customer service? ... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Norm | November 26, 2004 2:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm:

Where is customer service? I need to return some biking shorts, a wet suit and a camouflage jacket and hat...

22. Posted by Norm | November 26, 2004 2:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 14:00

Upon seeing the "up to 50" ... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by McCain | November 26, 2004 2:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Upon seeing the "up to 50" line from the comfort of his chauffeured limousine, a heroic John Kerry rushes back to the scene to peacefully protest age discrimination.

23. Posted by McCain | November 26, 2004 2:06 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 14:06

"Hmmm....I could slip the s... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Charles Versteege | November 26, 2004 2:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Charles Versteege:

"Hmmm....I could slip the silver plate between 2 boxes in my bag....."

24. Posted by Charles Versteege | November 26, 2004 2:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 14:30

(The one above should've be... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 2:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

(The one above should've been 10% off, dang it. but heres another.)

"I need to speak to a manager, one of your security guards pushed me."

25. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 2:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 14:43

Excuse me what aisle are th... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 26, 2004 2:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

Excuse me what aisle are the clues in?

26. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 26, 2004 2:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 14:48

Those half price votes in a... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 26, 2004 2:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

Those half price votes in aisle 5, are they valid in Ohio?

27. Posted by Stephen Macklin | November 26, 2004 2:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 14:49

Picked me up a little "lock... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Maggie | November 26, 2004 2:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maggie:

Picked me up a little "lock box" - yea' Gore told me it didn't help him that much but I figure I'll need all the help I can get in '08.

or

Bible Trivia...perfect game to prepare for '08.


28. Posted by Maggie | November 26, 2004 2:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 14:57

I've gotta get a refund for... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | November 26, 2004 3:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I've gotta get a refund for these so I can pay back every cent of the campaign money like I promised.

29. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | November 26, 2004 3:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 15:02

To be or not to be (a Wal-M... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by brad | November 26, 2004 3:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
brad:

To be or not to be (a Wal-Mart shopper) that is the question.

30. Posted by brad | November 26, 2004 3:33 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 15:33

"When I saw the sign saying... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by McGehee | November 26, 2004 4:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

"When I saw the sign saying 'Dollar General' I thought it would be a cheap way to get a promotion."

31. Posted by McGehee | November 26, 2004 4:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 16:07

Kerry rehearses for his fir... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by McGehee | November 26, 2004 4:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

Kerry rehearses for his first American Express commercial:

"Do you know who I am? Last November 58 million people voted for me and I still lost, just because 61 million people voted for some other guy. That's democracy for you."

32. Posted by McGehee | November 26, 2004 4:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 16:09

Not a caption, but a commen... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Jay Tea | November 26, 2004 4:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jay Tea:

Not a caption, but a comment: That's GOTTA be the Kay-Bee Toy Store in the Mall of New Hampshire, which is practically in my back yard. Well, maybe three miles. I've been there several times. I think I'll go there this weekend and recreate this photo.

And I think it's extremely telling that Kerry came up to New Hampshire to do his shopping, where we have 1) no sales tax and B) the first-in-the-nation Presidential primary, instead of doing his shopping in Massachusetts, or somewhere around D.C., or any of the other places he and TeRAYza have their mansions.

J.


J.

33. Posted by Jay Tea | November 26, 2004 4:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 16:11

"Hmmm, let's see here. She ... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Jumbo | November 26, 2004 4:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jumbo:

"Hmmm, let's see here. She said spines would be right past the scented candles."

34. Posted by Jumbo | November 26, 2004 4:15 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 16:15

[whispers] What aisle are ... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | November 26, 2004 4:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Aaron's Rantblog:

[whispers] What aisle are these in?

35. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | November 26, 2004 4:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 16:43

There should be $15 million... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | November 26, 2004 4:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen W. Stanton:

There should be $15 million on this debit card. Don't worry, all my purchases are official campaign presents.

36. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | November 26, 2004 4:44 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 16:44

As the holidays come around... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 4:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

As the holidays come around and we prepare to turn the new year it becomes the time to reflect on ones goals and aspirations. Let's join John Kerry in this (strenuous) mental exercise.
"- Become President of the United States, guess I can scratch that one.
- Become President in 2008, Hmmm, probably not, Hillary has plans.
- Have sex with Kirstie Alley more likely now, and I hear she's getting desparate. Wait there she is in a tabloid. Holy Mother of Mercy she looks like ....., Guess I should've updated that goal a few years ago.."

37. Posted by Rodney Dill | November 26, 2004 4:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 16:52

"I was naughty BEFORE I was... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Teflon93 | November 26, 2004 4:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Teflon93:

"I was naughty BEFORE I was nice...."

38. Posted by Teflon93 | November 26, 2004 4:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 16:57

Hey, there, neighbor... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by jack rudd | November 26, 2004 5:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jack rudd:


Hey, there, neighbor, how are your pigs -- er, I mean hawgs -- doin' ?

39. Posted by jack rudd | November 26, 2004 5:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 17:03

What would be good for Chri... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Omni | November 26, 2004 5:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Omni:

What would be good for Christmas dinner, hmmmmmmmm... I know, GOOSE!! ;-)

40. Posted by Omni | November 26, 2004 5:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 17:30

My Gawd! No one recognizes ... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Just Don | November 26, 2004 5:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Just Don:

My Gawd! No one recognizes me! Wake up America! I'm John Kerry.....John. Forbes. KERRY!!!

41. Posted by Just Don | November 26, 2004 5:45 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on November 26, 2004 17:45

Haircut and manicure - US$ ... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by McTrip | November 26, 2004 5:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McTrip:

Haircut and manicure -