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My Travel Preparations

The news has been filled of late with reports from people (mostly women, and most of them young and attractive) at airports who claim that security screeners have been getting to... shall we say... familiar with them. Apparently in the endless quest for safety, women have been complaining of security searches, frisks, and patdowns that border on "second base" - level groping.

A week from this Saturday, I'm catching a flight down to Baltimore to visit with some old friends. I've been thinking about this, and the rather pathetic state of my romantic level of late, and have decided to take some steps to get ready for my trip.

I have acquired DVDs of Gigli, Waterworld, Ishtar, and Heaven's Gate, and plan on carrying them in my pockets.

With that many bombs in my pants, I oughta be assured a very serious and thorough searching...

J.

UPDATE: BR, below, has pointed out the critical flaw in my plan. Curses... now where did I put those receipts?


Comments (8)

If you walk through securit... (Below threshold)
Omni:

If you walk through security as if you have, er, something stuffed where stuff normally just passes through, you'll qualify for a REALLY thorough search; bring your laptop with you, and maybe you can live-blog the event, lol. ;-)

Hee hee hee! Is this the s... (Below threshold)
BR:

Hee hee hee! Is this the silly nightowl crowd or what!
You can add "Alexander" to your list... of course, all you're gonna get is a male security guard frisking anyway.

Us female admirers of Jay Tea's... intellectual appeal... are going to have to get together and send him a surprise Christmas card photo! Maybe disguised as Ann C and Michelle M!

The pants stuffed with all ... (Below threshold)
julie:

The pants stuffed with all the bombs have to be jeans. I love a guy in jeans. And please God, don't press them.

Flight details please...I t... (Below threshold)
Debra:

Flight details please...I think Julie BR and I would like to come bid you a fond farewell.
Oh and Julie, please bring your video camera.
I think it would be worth the price of the ticket just to see Jay frisked in the obvious places.
loose fitting jeans too please...Keeps the imagination honed...

a little off topic here but... (Below threshold)
Debra:

a little off topic here but is anyone else getting an error msg stating"unknow action sub" when tying to subscribe to this thread?
Never had this happen before..

I'm wondering about the tit... (Below threshold)
-S-:

I'm wondering about the titles...one look at them, and the searchers (hehehe) may just turn ya' loose.

~;-D

If they want to search me t... (Below threshold)
Jim:

If they want to search me that extensively, they have to take me out to dinner first.

See my post to our forums s... (Below threshold)

See my post to our forums site on how we still don't get it with regard to all the money we're spending on the TSA to harass folks that have a nat's chance of being a suicidal Islamofascist terrorist.

*****

RAND (www.rand.org)

RAND PRESS RELEASE 11-17-04

Link

Link to PDF doc:

Link

MODERATOR'S NOTE:

Haven't read full report yet.

Still looks like LE community still in reactionary/response mode. What we still lack is strategic thinking and discussions on what the relative real risks are. While response planning is critical, without risk assessment, resources are underutilized and misallocated. For example, the continued screening of elderly ladies that have underwire in their garments when the probability of them being suicidal Islamofascist terrorists approaches zero.

[...]

HSPIG Link for more

Ron Wright, Moderator
HSPIG Forums Site
www.hspig.org




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